Happy All Groaner Hump Day
Yup. For my Happy Hump Day post this week, I'm offering this collection of...
GROANERS.
I'm dedicating this post to my buddy Maria Zannini because she tells me my groaners have a special place in her heart. (Or maybe it's in the compost pile behind the chicken coop.)
Okay, I'm also doing this because it's quick and I'm losing a chunk of today getting an MRI done on the persnickety knee that keeps giving out on me. Especially when I'm climbing up and down bleachers. At my granddaughter's diving meet last week, strangers were handing me down from row to row like some little old granny. (No, I DO NOT see anything wrong with that last statement.) It was embarrassing!
So, here we go. Get ready to groan.
1. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
2. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
3. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
6. The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.
7. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
8. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
9. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
10. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
11. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
12. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
13. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
2. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
3. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
6. The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.
7. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
8. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
9. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
10. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
11. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
12. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
13. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
No, of course, I wouldn't give you all those groans and no "aw". Here it is.
Come on, you know you said it.
Okay, which one gave you the biggest groan? Or even (dare I say it?) a laugh?
I hope this got you over the mid week hump and sailing toward the weekend.
Question of the Day: Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Oy. Really. You shouldn't have. :o)
ReplyDeleteHope you get the results you want from the MRI.
I like the one about the dyslexic man :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your knee.
Maria - Hah. I expected you to throw something at me (knowing how yo love my groaners).
ReplyDeleteCarol - Yup, me too.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Awwww. (Of course I said it.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the surplus groaners today--I love those! The biggest groan for me was the police station one. (Okay, so I'm a sucker for potty humor. *grin*)
For me it was #12, but I would be ok with an argument for any of them. Ha, mission accomplished.
ReplyDeleteI actually laughed a couple of those. Must be coming down with something.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
All groaners! But number ten was great.
ReplyDeleteThese were all good, can't pick just one. Hope things get better with your knee.
ReplyDeleteMason
Thoughts in Progress
Very Groaner-y but I still really enjoyed them! I like the dyslexic one the best. :)
ReplyDeleteLinda G - I knew you would.
ReplyDeletePotty humor? Groan.
Slamdunk - Yup, I like #12.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I always love giving someone a laugh.
Mood - Aw, come on. A couple of them were worth a laugh.
ReplyDeleteAlex - Hey, that's two votes for #10.
ReplyDeleteMason - Thanks. Knee report below.
ReplyDeleteLydia - Glad you liked them. And that's two votes for the dyslexic one.
ReplyDeletefave,
ReplyDeletea dyslexic man.., ha ha ha!!
i have to share these!
Just a follow up comment. As I expected, the MRI revealed a torn medial meniscus. Now I get to meet with an orthopedist to find out my options. Wheeee.
ReplyDeleteTara - Share away. And your vote makes the dyslexic man joke the winner. At least for now. I wonder what that says about our selective sense of humor. *grin*
ReplyDeleteand hope your knee isnt serious... but my neighbor had surgery on hers and it wasnt so bad healing with therapy...
ReplyDeleteYes, I did say aw.
ReplyDeleteI reckon he just said he was dyslexic! Good luck with the knee, though I imagine being carried along by total strangers has its own attractions : )
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha!!!! :) Loved them!
ReplyDeleteI think I like the thesaraus. Hope the knee is okay. Giving out is never a good sign.
ReplyDeleteDiane - I knew you would.
ReplyDeleteMike - Gasp. I think it was deliberate.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'd want a better looking group of strangers.
DL - Ah, a true groaner fan.
ReplyDeleteSusan - Thanks. And yes, it can be inconvenient.
ReplyDelete