Cats and English Students - Always Good for a Laugh

 Happy Hump Day

Hope you're here for your hump day funnies because I've got some good ones for you today. But first I want to indulge in a quick Nana moment.

I'm a regular blood donor. My grandson recently turned sixteen (the minimum age for donating) and went with me yesterday to give blood. He said he thought it was important. Knowing how he feels about needles, I was really proud of him.

 

As we're still finishing up the Christmas holiday, I have to share this one.

 

That poor kitty will never be the same.

We didn't have a white Christmas here but we have had quite a bit of snow and cold since New Years.

 

 Hey, he'll be okay. Cats are resilient, right?

I've heard they're also very brave... 

but I hope this one listens to his friend.

That could be ugly.

Okay, so far this month we've had church bloopers and hospital chart bloopers. How about some words of wisdom from our students - specifically high school English students? 

For your reading enjoyment, I give you...

Annual English Teachers awards for best metaphors/analogies from student papers.

 His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

(And my personal favorite...)

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.

Ah, the future of literature is bright.

I stayed with kitties for all today's pictures...er, not including my grandson.  It was the expression on this cat's face that made this one an "aw" for me. Pure bliss.

Don't you think so?

Did we get there? Are you over the mid-week hump and sailing toward a great weekend? I hope so.

Did you have a favorite?

Have a great week. I'll see you next Wednesday.

Oh, and as we're getting into the new year, I want to offer this 

 

Prayer for the Year:
 
Dear Lord,
 
My prayer for 2015 is for a fat bank account & a thin body.  Please don't mix these up like you did last year. 

AMEN!