Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Happy Hump Day


Happy Hump Day! 

And here's a little something to help get you over the hump and on the smooth downhill slide to the weekend.


Remember last week I said I had a great picture and Blogger wouldn't let me load it?  Here it is.




A Real Cowboy Knows No Fear.

I love that.



An important fact for the day:

What is a calorie?

Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at
night and sew your clothes tighter.

MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.



This just struck me as funny.




Side note:  I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. 



 How about a prayer for the New Year?  (It's only a little late.)


Dear God,

My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.

Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Amen.



And on that cheerful note, let's wrap it up with everyone's favorite, the...

Groaner of the Day:  A Russian scientist and a scientist from the Czech Republic had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to the park.

They reported to the ranger station but the chief ranger told them that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.

The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. Following the trails of a male and a female bear, they finally caught up with the female.

Fearing an international incident, they decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist. They killed the female and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"

The other ranger responded......

"I guess it means the Czech's in the male."

33 comments:

Melissa Sugar said...

What a great way to start the day. You are always so full of energy and I love reading your humorous post. I laughed from beginning to end. I am glad to finally know who those bastards are in my closet sewing up my clothes. They must have parties in my closet during the holidays and invite lots of friends because they make my clothes even tighter than they normally do.I see we have something else in common: I can still fit into the same earings from high school as well. Sadly that it all I can still wear from high school.

I hope you are having a great 2012, Linda. Take care

Sarah Pearson said...

That groaner was brilliant :-)

LD Masterson said...

Hi Melissa. Last Veterans Day the pastor at our church asked all past or current members of the military to come to church in uniform...or whatever parts of their uniform they can still get into. One gentleman showed up in wearing the hat, tie, and socks.

I can relate.

LD Masterson said...

Sarah - glad you liked it.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That first picture doesn't even need a caption.

Larri @ Seams Inspired said...

I can barely type from all the giggling going on behind my keyboard and screen!

Happy Wednesday! ☺

LD Masterson said...

Alex - True.

LD Masterson said...

Larri - Ah, a successful hump day blog.

Margo Kelly said...

Hmm ... I wonder if all the new internet censor rules went into place if your first (very awesome) picture would be censored? I don't know. I haven't researched the topic, but Google is blacked out today and so is Wikipedia in protest of the new censor proposals.

Makes you think.

Jessica R. Patch said...

"I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school."
I'm still cracking up over this one!

Thanks for the smiles today!

Sarah Ahiers said...

How awesome is that cow? I totally want him

LD Masterson said...

Margo - Scary thought.

LD Masterson said...

Jessica - My hubby and I celebrated our 25th anniversary by renewing our vows. I wore the only part of my wedding gown I could still get into...the veil.

Cate Masters said...

Thanks for the laugh, Linda. And hallelujah for hump day!

Karin said...

He Linda! I loved the post ! You always make me smile.
Karin

LD Masterson said...

You're welcome, Cate.

LD Masterson said...

Karin - And finding a comment from you always does the same for me.

MaryC said...

I should have checked in this morning instead of waiting. Would have made my hump day much brighter.

Thanks for the smile.

Sarah Allen said...

So much story in that picture! Thank you for sharing :) As always, love the groaner.

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

Jemi Fraser said...

I smiled all the way through and I'm going to keep on smiling! THanks :)

Love that top photo the most!!

Lydia Kang said...

You always make me laugh! LD, you rock.

LD Masterson said...

Mary C - Well, I'm glad to have brightened your evening.

LD Masterson said...

Sarah - I'm glad Blogger let me post it this week. It was too good not to share.

LD Masterson said...

Jemi - Hey, I love making people smile.

LD Masterson said...

Thanks, Lydia!

Ciara said...

I SO needed this today. LOL. LOVED the calorie and earrings. Classic.

LD Masterson said...

Ciara - Glad you enjoyed it.

Slamdunk said...

Hilarous cowboy photo--glad you kep battling Blogger to make it work.

I can see that getting a lot of laughs.

LD Masterson said...

Slamduck - Yeah, absolutely cracked me up.

Mike Keyton said...

A bumper crop in the so awful they're brilliant line. Thank you : )

Nicole Zoltack said...

LOL Loved all the pictures. And calories. And the groaner. :)

LD Masterson said...

Mike - I love being silly on Wednesdays. There's so much great material floating around out there.

LD Masterson said...

Niclole - Thanks, glad you enjoyed.