Wednesday, April 19, 2017

A Hump Day Quiz

Happy hump day.

Last week's post ran a bit long so I'm going to keep it short and sweet this week. And I have something different for you, a hump day quiz.

These are not trick questions. And you can probably find the answers by Googling...but where's the fun in it. Answer as many as you can in your comments and let's see who can figure out the most. I'll post the answers next Wednesday.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

 Did you get them all?

Here's a quick funny to reward all that hard work.

A six year old opened his birthday gift from his grandmother and was delighted to find a set of water pistols. He called to his siblings and they raced for the kitchen sink.

The boy's mother was not pleased. She turned to her mother and said, "Why would you get him water pistols? Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with them when I was little?"

The grandmother smiled. "Oh yes, dear. I remember." 

Yeah, I guess that qualifies as a little old lady joke.
You know I love those.


And here's your weekly "aw".

  Just a few buddies, enjoying their nap.
(Such faces.)

How'd you do on the quiz? Too hard? Too easy? Enough of a distraction to get you over the mid-week hump? I hope so.

Have a fantastic week/weekend. I'll see you next Wednesday (or whenever you stop by).

Thought for Today:
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A New Anthology and Some Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day.

It's been an exciting spring for me with the recent release of two anthologies containing stories of mine, Still Me After All These Years and Fish Out of Water - A Guppy Anthology, and two more on the way. Plus, this weekend I received word that another story has been accepted for an anthology scheduled for release in the fall. I seem to be on a roll.
(Major happy dance going on over here.)

Coming up next is Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat, which will include my short mystery "Annie Get Your Goat." Busted! is being released by Level Best Books on April 25, 2017. Again, I'm in great company. Check out this list of terrific authors and stories:

  • “Justice Due” by Jack Bates
  • “Thicker than Water” by Micki Browning
  • “No Mulligans” by Leone Ciporin
  • “Bygones” by Bruce Robert Coffin
  • “Last Call for Buffalo” by Randall DeWitt
  • “Fall in New Hampshire” by Sharon Daynard
  • “Most Evil” by Peter DiChellis
  • “Bad Friday” by Martin Edwards
  • “Deadly Discovery in Dallas” by Sanford Emerson
  • “The Woman in White” by Tracy Falenwolfe
  • “Ida Mae Buys a Crown Vic” by Kate Flora
  • “Get Along Little Dogie” by CC Guthrie
  • “The Letters of Patrick Bushell” by Gavin Keenan
  • “Afternoon Delight” by Steve Liskow
  • “The Program” by Cyndy Edwards Lively
  • “Becky’s File” by Ruth McCarty
  • “The Drive By” by Alison McMahan
  • “Annie Get Your Goat” by LD Masterson
  • “Chains” by Claire Murray
  • “Christmas Shift” by Dale Phillips
  • “Truth, Grace and Lies” by Adele Polomski
  • “The Cattle Raid of Adams” by Keenan Powell
  • “Goldie” by KM Rockwood
  • “The Owl and the Pussycats” by Verena Rose
  • “The Runner” by Steve Roy
  • “No Safe Place” by Harriette Sackler
  • “The Man Who Wasn’t Missing” by Brenda Seabrooke
  • “Play Dead” by Shawn Reilly Simmons
  • “Sensitivity Training” by Albert Tucher
  • “Pet Peeve” by Kari Wainwright
  • “Burning Bright” by Vicki Weisfeld

 I can't wait to read this one. 

But it's hump day and I know what you're here for so... 
here's a hump day funny for you.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. 

He got an A.

Well, what grade would you have given him?

Remember those crazy newspaper clippings
from last week?
How about a desk calendar?

 Ya think?

 Here's an interesting item.

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

 I'll admit it. That one cracked me up.

Okay, I have a challenge for you.
Look at this week's "aw" picture,
and try not to say "aw".

 Betcha couldn't do it.

That's it for today. Are you there? Over the midweek hump and sailing toward the weekend?
Good! Then my work here is done. Did you have a favorite?

Have a fabulous week/weekend. See you next Wednesday.

Common Sense Tip of the Day:

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.