Happy Hump Day - True or False

Happy Hump Day. 

I have a little brain teaser for you today. Don't worry, nothing too hard.

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?


1 . Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.


18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.'

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem. 

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

 22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash. 

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburettor. 

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery. 

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If colouring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

Okay, I have a great picture I planned to insert here but Blogger is being a pain tonight and won't let me upload.  (Stupid Blogger.)  So instead, we'll have to go right to the answers...

scroll down...








They are ALL true .....


I can't decide if I'm more freaked out at the thought of #16 or #2.  (How could Alfred not have a bellybutton?)  

Groaner of the Day:  You seemed to like the short one on Monday so here's another quickie.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Writers' Conferences - Decisions, Decisions

Last year, newly retired and all ready to start my new writing career, I set a goal of attending two or three writers' conferences.  I started checking and found there are a bazillion writers' conference to choose from.  It was a bit overwhelming.  I started by narrowing the list to conferences that focused on mysteries/crime drama/etc. 

I'm going to admit, I chose my first conference based on location as much as anything else.  The Public Safety Writers Association Conference in Las Vegas.  The conference looked interesting and my hubby and I had been wanting to take a little trip to Vegas, so I signed up.

I couldn't have made a better choice.  The PWSA conference is a small one, held in a single meeting room so everyone gets to attend every session (no having to pick and chose), and the attendees have a better chance to get to know each other.   The programs were excellent, lots of useful technical information - the "get it right" stuff - as well as sessions on writing and getting published.  In fact, this is where I made this friend...

It was a perfect place to get my feet wet.

The following month I attended Killer Nashville.  This is a larger conference, lots of things going on at the same time.  It's more about the writing/getting publishing side of things, although there were some technical programs, and there were more pitching opportunities (more agents/editors in attendance).  Again, I was very pleased with my choice.

This last one probably doesn't qualify as a writers "conference" - the Writers' Police Academy.  The WPA is a scaled down version of the training received by the local police.  It's a great place to find out how things are really done, before you put it in your book.   I loved it.

So I was three for three on finding good conferences.  And this brings me to the decision part.  I enjoyed each of these enough that I'd love to go back.  I know what to expect and I'd have a chance to re-connect with other regulars.  This appeals to me.  But I'd also like to explore some new territory, see what else is out there.

What do you think?  Do you attend writers' conferences?  Do you prefer going back to the same ones, ones you know and like, or do you like trying new ones?  Are there any you'd like to recommend?

Groaner of the Day: (last Friday's was a long one so I'll make this short)

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

Because You Never Know...

I started taking down our Christmas tree last night.  Yes, I know, I'm late.  I just wasn't in the mood on New Year's Day and it hasn't felt like an urgent need.  But I'm getting around to it now.

Un-decorating a tree is sort of like that accounting term, LIFO (last in, first out).  The last decorations to go on the tree have to come off first.  For us, that's always been the tinsel.

As far back as I can remember, tinsel was considered a disposable decoration.  Before Christmas, you bought a box or two of the very inexpensive thin silvery strips; had the usual argument over tossing handfuls at the tree versus carefully placing it one strip at a time; then, when the holiday was over, pulled off the tinsel and dropped the tangled mess in the trash before carefully removing the "real" decorations and packing them away for next year.

Until a couple years ago... when I went out to buy tinsel and couldn't find any.  No one was stocking it.  No one seems to know why.  Had it fallen out of favor with the younger crowd?  Been declared a health risk?  Could only be imported from some country we'd stopped speaking to?  No answer.  So we decorated the tree without tinsel that year, and it never seemed quite finished to me.

Some of you may remember, we lost my dear mum-in-law, Eleanora, in the fall of 2010.  Mama was a woman who had known real hardship and she never took having anything for granted. She was the lady who washed and re-used aluminum foil, saved the wrapping paper off gifts she received, and usually tucked away the gift for "someday". 

As her only family, everything that was hers came to us.  This included her Christmas decorations, most of which she'd not put up in years.  Last Christmas, we divided the fragile glass ornaments between our home and her grandchildrens', so everyone could have memories of her on their tree.  Then we found a long, thin, soft, wrapping of tissue paper.  Inside, carefully laid out so it wouldn't tangle, was a lovely pile of tinsel.  Mama hadn't bought a new box every year like the rest of us.  As always, she saved what she had and used it again. 

So that's what we did.  Last year, Mama's tinsel graced our tree, and was carefully packed away again when Christmas was over.  And it was Mama's tinsel I was carefully removing last night.

Eleanora Leszczuk knew that you took care of what you had, instead of blinding assuming there would always be more. 

She was a very smart lady, don't you think?


Groaner of the Day:  A man rushes into a vet's office, carrying the limp and lifeless body of his beloved pet gopher.

The vet takes the animal and puts it on an examination table.  After examining the limp form, the doctor tells the man that his pet, regrettably is dead.

The man, clearly upset and not willing to accept the obvious, demands a second opinion. So the vet goes into the back room and comes out with a Black Labrador.

The dog sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the Lab thinks he's is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his beloved pet is dead. So the vet brings in a Siamese cat and puts the cat down next to the gopher's body.

The Siamese sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the gopher's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the Siamese thinks he's dead, too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers,

$650.00."

"$650.00 just to tell me that he's dead?!" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50.00 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600.00 was for the Cat Scan and the Lab Tests."

(ouch)

Happy Hump Day and Who Wants to Save Money?

Happy Hump Day.  First of the New Year! 

But before we get to today's collection of sillies I need to mention this...

Maria Zannini is launching a new book series, 

THE FRUGAL WAY

with the release of

SMART BUDGETS FOR BUSY PEOPLE.

I've read Smart Budgets and it's full of great tips and ideas for saving money, bringing your spending under control, and reaching your financial goals.  And you can start saving right away because SMART BUDGETS FOR BUSY PEOPLE  is available on Smashwords and Amazon for only 99 cents. (Such a deal!)

Maria has also set up a Facebook page for The Frugal Way which is full of money saving tips and deals. 

 Please pop over and LIKE The Frugal Way.  Brand new Facebook pages need to feel the love.

Okay - on to today's Hump Day sillies.

Don't you love taking a nice long bath?  Soaking in the warm water. Just relaxing.

Hmmm, doesn't seem quite the same if you're a cat.

But...why?

E.T. Phone home.

Stay away from me.

I will get even for this

Noooooooo!

I'm running a bit long and I think the cats provide enough laughs to get you over the hump, so no groaner today. 

Don't forget to Like Maria's new Facebook page, The Frugal Way.

See you Friday.

Personal Reflections on a Less Than Successful Year

From a writing standpoint, 2011 was not exactly my most productive year.  Which wouldn't be all that bad except it was supposed to be.  When I retired last December, I had great hopes and plans for 2011.  I was going to write - get the edits and re-writes done on Hunter's Way and start querying my little heart out.  I was going to get seriously into, if not finish, one of the other book projects I've got on hold.  I was going to expand my web site and my blog, take some on-line classes, go to a couple conferences, find some crit partners, and really launch my new full time career as writer.

It should have been easy.

After all, during the previous twenty years, I had built and maintained a computer network that included a half dozen servers; over a hundred workstations; dozens of assorted printers, copiers, scanners, and FAX machines; and multiple routers and switches connecting six buildings spread over three counties.  I also trained and supported all the people who used this network.  I know how to work, how to multitask, how to meet deadlines.  And now I have all the time in the world.

So what happened?

Basically, I failed to manage the change from external demands to internal ones.  At the old job, other people were counting on me.  If I didn't get something done and we developed computer problems, those people couldn't do their jobs.  Deadlines were reinforced by a group of impatient (desperate) faces waiting for that installation, upgrade, training, etc. External demands.  Customer driven.

And then there was just me.

Without those external demands and dealines, I spun my wheels, wasted time, wallowed in indecision, failed to balance tasks, and accomplished a fraction of what I had intended to do.  I've measured my goals and objectives for 2011 against what I actually got done and realize...

I pretty much wasted a year.

So here I am, looking at 2012 and trying to figure out how not to do the same thing all over again.  I've got goals and objectives for the new year - a planning device that worked for me in my old job - but not much faith in their effectiveness anymore.  

Any suggestions?  How do you keep yourself on task when there's no one counting on you but you?

Oh, I did manage to let other people down on one thing.  I apologize to anyone who planned on doing the January writing challenge I said I would have in place by the first of the year.  I'm afraid I let December get away from me completely.  I'm still going to try this, slightly delayed, and I'll let you know as soon as I have it ready.  Don't give up on me.  Maybe we can pick a new start date together.

And here's a real groaner to start the new year...

Groaner of the Day:  A frog goes into a bank, and hops up to the loan officer.

The loan officer says, "My name is John Paddywack. Can I help you?"

The frog says, "Yeah, I'd like to borrow some money."

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, "Okay, what's your name?"

The frog says, "Kermit Jagger."

The loan officer says, "Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?"

The frog says, "Yeah, he's my dad."

The loan officer says, "Okay. Ummm...do you have any collateral?"

The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says, "Will this do?"

The loan officer says, "Hmmm...I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager."

The frog says, "Oh, tell him I said hi. He knows me."

The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, "Excuse me, but there's this frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing, I'm not ever sure what it is."

The manager says, "It's a knick-knack, Paddywack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

I just want to thank you all for visiting and commenting during the past year.  It's been fun sharing things with you.

Wishing all my friends a 

Joyful and Blessed Christmas,

Happy Holidays

of every kind,

and

 the Best of Everything in 2012.

Merry Christmas.

(No groaner today.  Consider it my Christmas gift to you.)

Happy Hump Day - and Head To Maria's

Happy Hump Day.  I'm over at Maria Zannini's DIY Christmas today sharing a family favorite recipe.  Hop on over and check it out.  Leave me a comment so I won't feel lonesome.

But I can't leave you without a little something to help you over the hump so here's a sign of the times.

This is the story of the Nativity - electronic style.



Have to toss this one in, too. 

Finally, a Microsoft Windows message we can use.

Have a happy hump day.  Don't forget to stop by Maria's

Groaner of the Day: A guy goes to his dentist for a checkup.  After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

"Well, the only thing I can think of is... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it - Hollandaise sauce, she called it - and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it.  So for the past four months I've been putting it on everything...meat, fish, toast, vegetables, you name it - I'm eating it with Hollandaise sauce!"

"That's probably it," replied the dentist. "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as though I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time."

"Why chrome?" the man asked.

"Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

(I'm so sorry.)