Happy Hump Day
I was having a little trouble coming up with the usual hump day funnies this morning. You see, it was seven years ago today that the greatest mom in the world left us, and left a hole in my life than will never be filled.
But then I thought about how much Mom loved to laugh. So I decided to share a couple of her favorites with you.
When my boys were going through the jokes and riddles stage, they loved visiting their grandmother. She always laughed and not just to be polite, she really enjoyed their little funnies. These were a couple of her favorites.
Man in restaurant: "Waiter, what is that fly doing in my soup?"
Waiter: "The backstroke, I think, sir."
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
He didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate.
This last joke is a little long but I still remember the first time I told it to her. She laughed so hard, she cried.
A man from New England goes to Texas for a business meeting. It’s his first time in the Lone Star State. He steps off the plane and is blown away be the size of the airport terminal.
“Wow,” he murmurs, “it’s so big.”
A passerby answers, “Everything’s big in Texas, sonny.”
The man catches a cab to his hotel and, again, he’s awed by the size of the lobby.
“My Lord, this lobby is huge.”
The desk clerk answers, “Everything’s big in Texas.”
The scene repeats when he reaches his room and this time it’s the porter who tells him, “Everything is big in Texas, sir.”
The man puts his things away and decides to have a drink in the bar before dinner. The hotel bar is, of course, huge. The man orders a martini but it’s served in a glass he could almost bathe in. “That’s can’t be a martini. It’s too big.”
And the bartender replies, “Everything’s big in Texas.”
Well, not to appear chickenhearted, the man drinks the over-sized drink and immediately feels the effects. He asked the bartender for directions to the men’s room.
“Down that hall, last door on the left.”
The man staggers down the hall but he’s pretty fuzzy at this point and goes through the last door on the right…which leads to the outside courtyard. He closes his eyes against the bright light, takes a few steps and falls into the hotel swimming pool.
And comes up yelling…
“Don’t flush it! Don’t flush it.!”
I can hear her laughing, even now.
I'm also doing something a little different for your "aw" picture this week. This may not be an aw for you but it is for me. This picture was taken about a month before Mom died. My brother was in town for a visit. Mom's Alzheimer's was pretty advanced by then and she didn't participate much in conversations but she definitely knew whose finger she was holding on to and that was enough to make her happy. Look at her smile.
If you're fortunate enough to still have your mom, give her a call today and tell her you love her.
Happy Hump Day.
Quotes for the Day:
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. -Tenneva Jordan
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. -Mark Twain
The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her. - Unknown
A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go. - Unknown