At Least Books Don't Go Dark

HAPPY HUMP DAY

You know why books are better than movies or TV?  Because in a book, when you finally get to the big battle you've been waiting for all the way through the story, the pages will not get dark and leave you wondering who got killed and who didn't.

Yes, I'm complaining about this week's Game of Thrones.

I could understand if GOT was filmed for release in theaters before coming to TV. Theaters are designed to handle low light images on screen. That's why it's dark in there. But GOT was filmed for television. That thing people watch in their homes...where light may seep in from other rooms or through windows not covered with blackout curtains.

It was really frustrating having to go online the next day to find out for certain who got killed.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan? What did you think of the latest episode?


I've got all visual funnies for you today. From the "you only had one job" department...

 Oops. A little off center there.

 Note the claim on the sign.

 

 What do you think? Alcohol or someone saw a spider on the road?

RIP, little buddy.

This last one is my favorite.

 Did they really not notice?

You may have noticed I'm trying not to do rely on puppies and kittens for all my "aw" pictures. There's just so many other beautiful faces out there.

What do you think of this one?

Wouldn't you like to know what he's thinking?

Was that an "aw" for you?

 That's all for today. Hope you found something here to get you over the mid-week hump and coasting to the weekend.

I also hope the next episode of Game of Thrones will be a bit brighter. (Not in tone, just visually. So we can see what's going on.)

See you next week.


Thought for Today:

I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up.

(This was printed on a coffee mug given to me by my co-workers in my previous office. I have no idea why.)  

Doing Prom Right & Hump Day Funnies

HAPPY HUMP DAY

Cranky old ladies like myself often yearn for the good old days. We talk about how much better things were back then and how the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Teenagers are a favorite target. Lazy, disrespectful, and don't even get me started about those drooping britches...

Actually, I like today's teenagers. Through my grandkids, I've gotten to know a lot of them and they give me hope for the future. They've also figured out some things I think we had completely wrong. Case in point...High School Prom.

When I was in high school (back in the dark ages), if a girl didn't get asked to prom by a boy, she simply didn't go. Period. End of discussion. A boy could go stag, if he really wanted to; but it basically meant paying for a tux and a ticket to stand around the punch bowl while the couples danced.

It's different now. Sure, a lot of teens go to prom as couples. Boys ask girls. Sometimes girls ask boys. But they also go in non-coupled groups. Groups of girls, groups of boys, or all mixed together. And no one thinks anything of it. 

My granddaughter's prom was last weekend. She opted to go with a group of girls. And they were geared up to have a great time. (Which I heard later, they really did.)

 I think these kids are on to something.  How about you?

Short hump day funnies: 

A guy broke into my apartment last week.  He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick son of a...  

Don't wear headphones while vacuuming. I just finished the whole house and realized the vacuum wasn't plugged in.

Not so short hump day funny:

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. 

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job. 

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. 

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:  

"Oh God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke:

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"



I'm sorry. It just made me laugh.  Okay, let's cut to your"aw".  

Can your resist this face? 

I couldn't either.

That's it for today.Hope these funnies got you over the mid-week hump and heading for the weekend. See you next week. (Please, don't forget to say hi.)

Question for Today:

Why are people my age so much older than I am?

Happy All Funnies Hump Day

 

HAPPY HUMP DAY

But please bear with me today. While juggling a couple deadlines, a major landscaping project, and an upcoming wedding, I totally dropped the ball on writing this post.

So instead of any pearls of wisdom from me, today you get all funnies.

(Okay, stop applauding.)  

Here we go. 

 Made me laugh, this did.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the speaker and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall and I found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it okay if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if it will make you happy."

WOMAN: "Oh, thank you, sweetheart. I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "Okay, but for that price I want all the options."

WOMAN: "Wonderful! You're so good to me. Um, one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "Darling, thank you! I'll call right now. I love you so much!"

MAN: "I love you, too. See you later."

The man ends the call. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He looks around and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?” 

Did you see it coming?

But a writer's gotta write when a writer's gotta write.

This next one sort of explains why I dropped the ball on this post...

Yeah, I'm looking a little scary.

I know my last couple "aw"s have been about eyes,

but I just couldn't resist this guy's.

Come on, you know you said it. 

 That's all for today. I hoped you found something here to give you a laugh and help you over the mid-week hump and on your way to the weekend.  Did you have a favorite?

I'm going to be offline all day today but I'll be around to see you later in the week. Have a great week.

Quote for Today:

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.  ~ Mark Twain

 

Mystery Most...Chocolate?

HAPPY HUMP DAY

I have a happy to share! I'm delighted to be sharing these pages with so many wonderful authors.

Malice Domestic 14: Mystery Most Edible will be published in May by Wildside Press.

My story, "Sticky Fingers" is a tale of murder, revenge, and...cupcakes!

Yummy.

Speaking of yummy (yes, this is a terrible segue)... You all know I have a grandson serving in the Marine Corps, and being the wonderful Nana that I am, I like to send him care packages. A pretty simple thing, right?

Well, sometimes. A couple weeks ago I started putting together a package. I had all the usual - jerky, peanut butter crackers, microwave mac & cheese, etc. - but I wanted to toss in something special. When he was home at Christmas, he discovered these special chocolate candies he thought were wonderful, so a couple Sunday's ago, I stopped by the fancy chocolate store and bought a half pound. As I was checking out, I mentioned I was mailing them. The clerk expressed concern, telling me their chocolate contained no preservatives and needed to be kept refrigerated.

I spent the better part of the next week trying to decide how to send his care package, which I knew from experience could take anywhere from three to seven days to arrive. I thought of adding a freezer cold pack, wrapped with the chocolates, but finally settled on sending the package - without the chocolate - regular priority mail as I usually did, and then sending the chocolates overnight express.

So I mailed the bulk of his package on Friday and held the chocolates for Monday (his Post Office is closed on the weekend). Then I decided it was a bit of a waste to send just a half pound of chocolates by themselves, so on Sunday I stopped by the chocolate shop again and bought an additional pound.

Just to be certain, I asked the clerk - a different person this time - if the chocolates would be okay being mailed overnight express with a freezer pack to keep them cold. She informed me that, while it's true the chocolates did not contain preservatives, they would be fine unrefrigerated for a week, possibly longer.

But which clerk was correct?

I debated what to do next. Freezer pack? Overnight express? Both? I finally decided to send them overnight express but without the freezer pack since those frozen bricks are quite heavy. After all, how much could a pound and a half of chocolates cost to mail? I wrapped them up and headed to the Post Office on Monday morning.

Would you believe $45.00? For a pound and a half of chocolates? I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend over twice what the chocolates cost just on postage. I said the heck with it and sent them regular priority mail. Maybe I'd get lucky.

Later that day I checked the USPS tracking on the package I'd mailed the previous Friday. It had already been delivered.  Fastest time ever!  Now I'm tracking the chocolates.

They appear to be traveling by sloth.

Guess who is NOT getting a chocolate bunny for Easter.

I've been a little wordy so here's a visual funny.

Oh yeah. Piece of cake.

And, of course, your weekly "aw"...

I know you said it.

How about you? Ever struggled to get something mailed or shipped? Got a good horror story you can share?

See you next Wednesday.

Thought for the Day:

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.