Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What! Christmas is Next Week?!?

Happy Hump Day

Wait a minute. This is supposed to be my last Hump Day post before Christmas. That means...oh my gosh! Christmas is a week away!!!!

I'm not ready. I having more shopping to do, and wrapping, and planning Christmas dinner for the whole family. 

I should have known it was coming. There are signs everywhere. Even in my own house. 

In my living room. 

In my family room. 

Over the fireplace. 

But how did it get here so quickly? 

Okay, tell you what. How about if I just share a couple of my favorite bits of Christmas funnies.

The Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
a.. TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
b.. ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)
c. TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

d. NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

e. EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans
f. SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands
g. SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
h. FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. 

NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and  partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further  Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.
i. FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
j. THREE deconstructionist poets
k. TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and
l. ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 Number eight has always been my favorite.
(Bovine-Americans...hee hee hee).

And here they are...those fabulous Silent Monks.

I love that video every Christmas.

I wouldn't forget your "aw".

I know we see lots of cute pics of sleeping pups, but this little one is definitely somebody's furbaby.

It got me.

Not only is this an "on the run" post - it will be one of two this week. 
Come back by on Friday for my post in DL Hammons'...

Okay. Was that enough to get you over the hump? I hope so.

Are you ready for Christmas?

 A Happy and Blessed Hanukkah to my Jewish friends.

Quote for Today:

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
~Carolyn Wells


Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Your house looks very merry. Giving gifts is what makes the holiday. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The last day of Christmas was awesome!
Cool you have multiple trees. One week - you can get it done.
Merry Christmas, LD.

Emily R. King said...

The silent monks is fabulous. So funny! Have a Merry Christmas, LD!

Maryann Miller said...

Loved the trees and the wacky 12 Days. I am not ready for Christmas. No way, and just might go with one table decoration and a Christmas vase. LOL Hope you have a very Merry Christmas and blessings for the New Year.

Mike Keyton said...

Have a great Christmas, Linda. Ref monks, I find them creepy :)

Lexa Cain said...

OMG - "enslaved Bovine-Americans"! Hilarious! I loved the pc version of the song, and loved all the pics, too. Have a fabulous Christmas! :)

LD Masterson said...

Susan G/K - Thank you. To you and yours as well.

Alex - Yup, I work best under pressure. And to you.

Emily - My favorite Christmas video. Merry Christmas.

Maryann - A Christmas vase! I have to find a Christmas vase! Thank you and I wish the same for you.

Mike - I think that particular group were high school students, although a bunch of different groups have done that routine. To the best of my knowledge, none were monks. Happy Christmas.

mshatch said...

Love the poem. I definitely like giving a lot more than getting - especially when I see the look of happiness on the other person's face.

Jemi Fraser said...

Awesome trees!!! And with so many stockings, you have proof you have lots of love :)
Love those monks too!

LD Masterson said...

mshatch - Nothing more rewarding than finding just the right gift.

Jemi - And the owner of every one of those stockings will be here on Christmas. What could be better?

Kaye George said...

Brava! You pulled it off! Our tree is up, house decorated, presents bought, but nothing wrapped and no cards sent! There's still time! Merry Christmas!

LD Masterson said...

Kaye - My cards are sent but not all the presents bought. And I guess we'll both be wrapping till Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas.

Maria Zannini said...

Very festive! If there are any more grandkids, you're going to need another mantel.

Loved the well tucked-in puppy. He looks comfy.

Julie Flanders said...

Your trees are so pretty! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Linda.

Robin said...

That last quote reminded me of something I read a long time ago... If you want to know what to get someone for Christmas, remember what they gave YOU the Christmas before... chances are they'll like it.

Merry Christmas LD!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I finally finished buying Christmas gifts today, (I think...) and will have to lock myself in a room (without the cats, who won't like that one bit) to get everything wrapped over the next couple of days. THEN I can breathe a sigh of relief. I can't believe it's only a week away. (I swear, the years are getting noticeably shorter... must be some kinda conspiracy.)

And a very Merry Christmas to you and your family. Happy New Year, too!

Mason Canyon said...

Love your Christmas trees and decorations. It all looks so festive. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas. I know it will be a bit difficult for you without your Dad, but remember all the fun times you had and know he'd want you to be happy.

Linda G. said...

Wow, I am slow making the rounds this week! But I had to stop by and say Merry Christmas before the real craziness sets in around here (starting tomorrow, when my out-of-state kiddos get here for a holiday visit). So, a Very Merry Christmas to you and yours! :)