Happy Hump Day Special - Heeeere's Sophy!

Happy Hump Day.  How ever did you get over the mid-week hump without me these last couple months? 

Since I usually devote my Hump Day post to pictures selected to give you a smile, I'm going to combine that with my important introduction.  I'd like you to meet Sophie.

Sophie came to us from our county animal shelter.  She's approximately six years old but she entered the shelter as a stray so we have no history for her.  She's very friendly with people but not so much with animals.  Gets pretty nervous with other dogs. 

She's also terrified of thunder and lightning.  Something I discovered the first night we had a storm and I woke up to find her sitting on my head.

She's a lady of discriminating taste.  I knew the first day when she checked out every sleeping spot in the house and selected the bed with the Boston Red Sox blanket.  Sophie's a SOX FAN!  That's my girl.

She also claimed the hot tub in the back yard as her special perch.  Not only can she survey her entire domain but the top is nice and warm on a chilly day.

But her biggest claim to fame is her skill as a great white hunter:

I know it's up there, Mom.  I chased it myself. 

Maybe it went around this side.

Well, I'm just going to sit here and wait until it comes down.

Sigh.  I guess I lost it.  What?  Why are you laughing?

Did I miss something?

What raccoon? Where?

That's my girl.  What do you think of her?

Groaner of the Day:  A man walks into a coffee shop, and is given a huge mug which he takes to his table. But when he tries to drink it, he find that instead of coffee, the mug contains a pair of beige cotton trousers. So he goes to complain.

The counter staff are not very helpful, so after arguing with them for some time, he eventually gets them to call the shop manager. The manager is very indignant - "But it's exactly what you asked for", he says.

"No it isn't!" says the customer, "how can this possibly be what I ordered?"

"It's a cup o' chinos", says the manager.

I'm Back - And Guess Where I've Been.

Hi.  I'm back.  Anyone miss me?  (Please lie and say you did.  I need the ego boost.)

So, I'm gone for longer than I expected to be and the first thing I discover is Blogger has changed everything while I was gone and nothing is where it used to be.  Rats!  This is going to make getting back up to speed a little harder so if I'm not commenting on your blog right away, please forgive me.

This weekend I had the great pleasure of attending the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. 

As a lifelong Erma fan, just being part of her legacy was a real treat for me, but I also learned a lot and I'll try to share some of it here over the next few weeks.

So much has happened in the last couple months.  On the personal front there were some health issues and some family issues and some family health issues.  Plus, the biggest news - we added a new member to our family.  This news will get a post of its own in the very near future (hint: she has four legs and sheds a lot).

I also had a visit from blogger Margo Kelly who stopped by while I was gone and left me this very nice award.

Accepting this award does require some action on my part so I will do that in an upcoming post, as well.  Margo is in the middle of the A to Z blog challange and I'm looking forward to getting caught up with her posts.  Stop by Margo's blog and check it out.

Getting back to the Erma Bombeck workshop - I attended a couple sessions on blogging and social media.  I want to try out some of their suggestions so I'll be doing some experimenting with this blog and would appreciate your feedback.  Don't worry, I'll point out the changes so you don't have to hunt for them. I'm going to stay with my Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule for now so please look for me then.

And since I know how much you've missed your regular "groaner" fix, here's your...

Groaner of the Day: The television game show was being recorded. The contestant was in the hot seat for the last big question.

The host turned to him, and read the question slowly and carefully. But the contestant didn't know the answer.

Fortunately, he had a backup plan (there was no way he was missing out on this million bucks!). He let out a peircing whistle, and from the back of the stage, four mounted knights-in-armour appeared, waving their lances threateningly at the show's host.

The host looked scared for a moment, and then a steely look came over him. He leapt into the air and karate kicked the first knight onto the floor. He picked up the lance from the stricken knight, and fought off the second, who also fell spawling on the floor. The second knight's horse shied, and bolted, colliding with the third knight in the process.

The game show host was just begining to enjoy himself now. He waved the spear he was still carrying at the fourth knight, looked back at the contestant, and said "Is that your final lancer?"

Going Dark for a While

I starting blogging because I read having an on-line presence was a must if I want to get published.  It felt strange at first, then I started to enjoy it.  It was like having a whole new circle of friends.  Many were writers - published or unpublished - so we shared some of the same interests and everyone was very supportive.  I also found a lot of information I might never have seen otherwise.

But I seem to have worked myself into a corner.  I'm spending too much time blogging with writers and not enough time being one.  This has become especially clear since the beginning of the New Year.  I set up several goals for getting back on track and tackling my post-beta-read rewrites and so far I'm just chasing my tail.

Time for me to re-focus.  I'm going to step back from blogging for a bit until I've got my writing groove back.  I hope you won't forget me while I'm gone.  Good luck with all the great stuff everyone's got going on.


Groaner of the Day:  Dr. Watson arrives at 221-B Baker Street and is stunned to find his friend Sherlock Holmes out front in an overall, applying a pale yellow gloss to the front door.


"Good Gad, Holmes," cried the stupefied Watson, "What is that supposed to be?"

Holmes turned to his friend, one eyebrow raised.  "A lemon entry, my dear Watson."

The Lady or the Tiger - Open Endings

I think you all probably know the story of The Lady and the Tiger.  A man who has dared to get involved with the king's daughter stands in an arena with only two exits.  Behind one door is a ferocious tiger.  Behind the other is a beautiful woman, rival to the princess.  The man must choose which door he opens.  If he picks the one with the beautiful woman, he goes free and has to marry her.  It he picks the other, he dies.  The princess, his lover, sits in the stands by her father.  The man looks to her for help and she signals him which door to choose.  But will she save him or would she rather see him dead than married to her rival?  The man goes to the door and opens it.  And the story ends.

Last night my mystery readers' group met to discuss this month's book selection.  I won't mention the title because I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it had this type of ambiguous ending.  In the final scene, the reader knows when the heroine wakes up tomorrow morning the disaster in her life will be over.  Or it will be the same.  The story ends as she goes to sleep.   

Our group was divided on this one. Some liked being able to choose what they believe will happen.  Others felt the story was incomplete.  They wanted something, perhaps an epilogue, to tie up the loose ends.  For myself, I chose the happy ending, but after following this character through four hundred pages of twists and turns, I wanted to share in her relief and joy when it happened.  I felt cheated.

How about you?  What books have you read that left the ending up to the reader?  How did you decide the story ended?  Do you enjoy open-ended stories or do you prefer to have everything nicely tied up with a bow and no loose ends?  If you're a writer, do you ever leave your endings open to the reader's choice?

Groaner of the Day:  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Happy Hump Day

Happy Hump Day! 

And here's a little something to help get you over the hump and on the smooth downhill slide to the weekend.

Remember last week I said I had a great picture and Blogger wouldn't let me load it?  Here it is.

A Real Cowboy Knows No Fear.

I love that.

An important fact for the day:

What is a calorie?

Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at

night and sew your clothes tighter.

MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.

This just struck me as funny.

Side note:  I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,

but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. 

 How about a prayer for the New Year?  (It's only a little late.)

Dear God,

My prayer for 2012 is for

A fat bank account & a thin body.

Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Amen.

And on that cheerful note, let's wrap it up with everyone's favorite, the...

Groaner of the Day:  A Russian scientist and a scientist from the Czech Republic had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to the park.

They reported to the ranger station but the chief ranger told them that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.

The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. Following the trails of a male and a female bear, they finally caught up with the female.

Fearing an international incident, they decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist. They killed the female and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"

The other ranger responded......

"I guess it means the Czech's in the male."

Why Should I Care?

This weekend I went to see Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.  I've never read the John LeCarre novel nor did I see the popular mini-series from 1979, so the story was new to me.  A classic spy thriller with an excellent cast - I was excited.

 I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed in a movie.  It wasn't that I couldn't follow the story - altough one member of our group said it was too confusing.  It was that I had no reason to want to.  The very complex plot had so many twists and turns, the movie was unable to do more flash quickly from one to another leaving no opportunity for the viewer to make a connection to any of the characters.  Without that connection, without caring about the charactrers, the whole story became rather pointless.  Torture, betrayal, even murder lose their impact if you have no interest in the people involved.

Perhaps if I had read the novel or seen the mini-series, so that I had some sense of these characters going in, it would have been different.  As it was, I felt as though the whole movie was just an in depth synopsis of the book, giving me the plot but not the story.  Long before the movie was over, I had stopped wondering who the mole was; not because I had figured it out, but because I just didn't care. 

Plot versus character.  Finding the balance.  A critical part of crafting a story.  Watching this movie reminded me why.

How about you?  Have you seen Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy? What did you think of it?  Have you seen or read a story lately that missed the balance between plot and character? 


Groaner of the Day:  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

(tee hee)

Imagine

Imagine a place where unwanted lives are considered disposable.

Imagine an unwanted child, and a woman who will give him a loving home. But the child is gravely ill. The state will take him back, but it’s clear they hold out no hope for his recovery. They will not fight for this tiny life.

So the woman takes him home. She sends her husband and other children away so they do not become infected, and she begins to care for the child. She nurses him around the clock, setting aside her own needs, sacrificing her own health.

Days pass. At times, it appears the little one is getting better and the woman offers up thanks for this small miracle. But the miracle is short-lived. One infection follows another. Days turn into weeks.  Though exhausted and emotionally drained, the woman does not give up.

And then it's over. The tiny flame flickers, and is gone.

The woman grieves.

Imagine.

Would you have given as much?

Would you have done it for him?

Dedicated to Maria Zannini, in memory of Murray.

(No groaner today.  See you next week.)