Thursday, December 1, 2011

Happy...um...Day After Hump Day

Okay, I'm still way behind. My computer is now on the floor, as am I at the moment, while I relocate the desk.  I haven't visited anyone's blog this week - please forgive me - and I missed my Hump Day post.

I haven't had time to dig up some good pictures for you so I offer this instead. I'll bet some of these strike a chord.

28 UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9. Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.

16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

18. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid " routing option.

19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an a ** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

28. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Disclaimer:  Not all of the above reflect the opinion of the management.  But most of them...oh, yeah.

Don't give up on me, I'll be back to visiting you all again soon.  Promise.


Oh, one picture for you.  Yesterday, I was wondering why the birdfeeders in my yard were all unoccupied.  Then I spotted this guy. 




He was at least a foot tall, sitting directly above a finch feeder, waiting for lunch to fly in.  Beautiful, but I still went outside and suggested he try somewhere else.  Wish I could have gotten a picture of him flying off.  Awesome wingspan.
 
Groaner of the Day:  A mother skunk gave birth to twins, whom she named In and Out.

One day In was out, so she aked Out,"Out, go out and find In. In's out and I want him in."

"What?" said Out.

"In's out and I want him in. I've been looking for ages and can't find him, so I want you to go out, Out, find In and bring him in."

So Out goes out to look for his brother In, and within seconds of leaving, he comes back with In in tow.  His mother asks, "Out, how did you find In so quickly?"

"Easy," answered Out. "In stinkt."

15 comments:

GigglesandGuns said...

OMG That list is mine, especially the fitted sheets and phone numbers.
I laughed all the way through -- until the groaner. Then, of course, I groaned.

Maria Zannini said...

Beautiful hawk. This probably explains why my bird feeder has been going un-visited.

A. If you go before me, I would be proud to cover your tracks. :)

and B.

I've heard some schools are doing away with teaching cursive. I find that sad.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The hawk is awesome! And I'm all for a sarcastic font. A snarky one would be good as well.

mattleszczuk said...

great shot of the bird, and if you need help with number 1 I know good ways to clear the drives.

Pidg said...

Holy cow you had me in stitches! I swear every random "truth" was so perfect ... I know I'm easily entertained but this was great. Just this morning I went through that moment of panic with Word on the save I didn't make changes to. I thought that only happened to me...whew!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Pretty hawk!

And what is boredom? You're not speaking my language.

Stephen Tremp said...

I agree about learning cursive. I just scribble my signature anyway. Seems like cursive should go the way of the typewriter.

LD Masterson said...

To everyone, my apologies for the delayed responses - I've been bouncing back and forth between Internet connect woes and home improvement project distractions.

LD Masterson said...

Mary - I gave up trying to fold those sheets and now I try a half roll/half wad stuff em in the closet move.

LD Masterson said...

Maria - Ref. covering tracks, thanks and I'll do the same for you.

Sadly, the school district two of my grandkids are in is one of those giving up on cursive. I find it very sad.

LD Masterson said...

Alex - Yes! Sarcastic and snarky would both be very useful.

LD Masterson said...

Matt - Weren't you the one who suggested using CD's as target practice to destroy old confidential data?

LD Masterson said...

Pidg - Kind of scary how many of these we all relate to, isn't it?

LD Masterson said...

Diane - Boredom? Not familiar with the word.

LD Masterson said...

Stephen - I don't agree. A handwritten note is still a lovely thing. But then, I'm probably behind the times. Happens at my age.