Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Thank You's and Blogfests and Funnies, Oh My!

Happy Hump Day

My hump day post has to serve as a multi-purpose blog this week.  

First, I need to thank everyone for their good wishes on the release of Flights of Fiction on Monday, especially those who ordered a copy. I really appreciate your support.


For those who asked about an e-version, Flights of Fiction will be available in e-format in early May. I don't have an exact date from the publisher but I will certainly make an announcement here as soon as I know. 

Next I want to tell you about a very cool new blogfest from the Ninja Captain, Alex Cavanaugh, and friends.


I love one day blogfests (no A to Z challenges for this kid), especially when movies are involved. This one should be lots of fun. Get the details and sign up here.

 I also want to mention that I'm going to be off line for the next week. I'm going on a little vacation with some dear friends.  I'll be back with you on Friday, April 26.  Try to stay out of trouble while I'm gone. 

Now for your hump day funnies.

 Here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods. 

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
 (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) 

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
 (the shoplifter special?) 

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
 (and that would be?) 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(huh?)

 On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
 (but wouldn't this save me time?) 

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
 (well, I certainly hope so)   

 On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
 (now, somebody out there, help me on this)  

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 
 (oh, good grief)

 On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
 (Oh my Lord..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Oh, don't worry, I've got your weekly "aw".

How about this one?


I know you said it.
 
Okay, that's it. Did we get you over the mid week hump and on the slippery slope to the weekend?  Good. Did you have a favorite?
 
Take care. See you next Friday. 


Thought for the Day:

I'm praying for my hometown of Boston and for everyone affected by yesterday's tragic events.
 




35 comments:

mooderino said...

It's amazing what companies end up putting on their products for legal reasons.

mood
Moody Writing
#atozchallenge

Jemi Fraser said...

My heart is breaking for those folks in Boston - so sad.

Love those product warnings. When we bought a baby stroller it said "don't fold with baby inside". Really? Who would have thought to remove the baby 1st???

Linda G. said...

Awww. Thanks for the funnies, and have fun on your vacation! :)

Linda G. said...

Awww. Thanks for the funnies, and have fun on your vacation! :)

Mark Means said...

Boston, I'm sure, is in many folk's thoughts and prayers.

Have a great time on vacation :)

Stacy McKitrick said...

I think someone with American Airlines hated stupid instructions and couldn't resist adding his/her own! Or...some idiot said there needed to be instructions. It's the kind of smart-alecky thing my husband would do!

Have fun on your vacation. Although, if you're retired, is there such a thing as a vacation? Just wondering...

LD Masterson said...

Mood - And getting more ridiculous with every passing lawsuit.

Jemi - Oh, that's priceless. Like the baby meds that advise not to drive or operate heavy machinery while taking this med.

Linda G - I knew you'd say "awww".

Mark - Thank you. For both thoughts.

Stacy - I figure if I'm going out of town it still counts as vacation.

Julie Flanders said...

Love the Red Sox logo, how fitting. I still feel in shock over what happened this week. :(

Thanks for the funnies and the totally adorable "Aww." Have a wonderful time on your vacation!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I really liked the chainsaw one. Sleeping aids that cause drowsiness? LOL
Praying for Boston too.

Julie Luek said...

Yay for your book release and availability! All the best to you.

Arlee Bird said...

Love those instructions on packages. Especially the ones that came from other countries where something was apparently lost in translation or just said in a funny way.

Lee
An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out

Robin said...

The chainsaw was my favorite. You know some idiot actually did this in order for them to put it on the packaging. I have seen the hairdryer before. Is that a notice for people who sleepwalk and dry their hair NOT to purchase this product? That is the only thing I can figure. Because, again, it must have been DONE for it to be there. Egads.

Isis Rushdan said...

Can't wait for the next movie blogfest. No A-Z for me either.

Enjoy your vacay :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

I definitely awed !

Too funny with those directions! Th food processor one? The only can think people may try to type with it... Food/ word... I get the connection... Don 't you? Lol!

Thanks for the laughs!

Gina Gao said...

This is so hilarious! Thanks for the laughs in this one.

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Oh my God those are funny! They wouldn't put some of those warnings there if someone hadn't tried it.

Carol Kilgore said...

Love the aw moment :)
Have fun on your vacation!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Thanks for mentioning my blogfest!
Stopping the chainsaw with my privates?!?!?!?! The horror...

Al Diaz said...

I can't stop laughing at the instructions but I don't blame the companies anymore since I learned someone sued Black&Decker because it didn't specify in its instructions he couldn't scratch his nose with the driller working.

LD Masterson said...

Julie - I think we're all in shock. And, thank you. I'm looking forward to it.

Susan - Glad you liked them.

Julie - Thanks so much.

Lee - Makes me wonder what the message was supposed to be.

Robin - The thought that the chainsaw one is a response to something someone actually tried is terrifying.

Isis - Thanks. And, yes, that blog fest will be fun.

Michael - I love a man who's not too macho to aw. Typing on the food processor? - Love it!

Gina - You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed them.

Diane - Scary thought, isn't it?

Alex - You're welcome. And admit it - the very thought had your knees clamped together.

Al - Oh, good Lord. I'd be too embarrassed at being that foolish to sue.

Melody said...

Congratulations on the book!! Have a great vacation. And I love the nod to Boston.

Clarissa Draper said...

Why would you want to stop a chain saw with any other part of your body as well? Your head?

I will be buying the book but I want to buy it in e-book format.

It's so sad about Boston.

kmckendry said...

Love the chainsaw directions!

mshatch said...

Thank you for the laugh - especially the shoplifting one :)

Mike Keyton said...

I honestly don't know which one of those instruction I like best. Maybe our flying flapjack scandal could have been averted with clear instructions on each flapjack. Enjoy your holiday, Linda. Taken with friends - they're the best.

LD Masterson said...

Melody - Thanks for the good wishes.

Clarissa - What happened in Boston is beyond tragic. How can anyone have so much hate inside? I'll make an announcement here when the e-format is released. Thanks so much.

kmckendry - Funny and scary at the same time, don't you think?

mshatch - You're welcome. That's what my Wednesday posts are for.

Kimberly Gabriel said...

Enjoy your vacation! I love the picture. Lots of prayers for Boston and everyone involved right now.

Jessica R. Patch said...

Congrats on the release!!!!

Those were funny. I love the one about sleep meds causing drowsiness. That's on the Lunesta too. Seriously? lol

Enjoy your time off. No promises on staying out of trouble!

Lexa Cain said...

I don't know what was funnier - the goofy instructions or your silly/sarcastic comments! I especially loved the nuts with the "good grief" comment! :-D

Patricia Stoltey said...

I especially appreciate the warnings on coffee cups that the coffee is hot. Why wouldn't everyone know that?

Liz Fichera said...

I'm hoping that some of those label instructions were a Lost in Translation thing because, I mean, the chainsaw one???

Margo Kelly said...

Enjoy your vacation! :)

Sarah Allen said...

Thoughts go to Boston too, even now. Glad things are wrapping up. And great photo!

Sarah Allen
(From Sarah, With Joy)

Misha Gericke said...

Hope you have a wonderful vacation! :-)

LD Masterson said...

Wow, I had some visitors while I was gone. Love it.

Kimberly - Thanks, on all counts.

Jessica - Okay, fess up. What kind of trouble did you get into?

Lexa - I'm glad you liked them.

Patricia - Um, they think it's iced coffee? (Silly people.)

Liz - Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Margo - Thanks. I did.

Sarah - Sadly, for many, things will never be the same.

Misha - Thank you. I had a great time.