Three Jokes and Over the Hump

Happy Hump Day

Late last night I typed two of the sweetest words an author can type: THE END

Sure, now starts the editing and the fine tuning but still...I feel good.

I know many of you are participating in the A to Z Challenge and have a lot of blogs to hit today 

so for your hump day post, I'm giving you these three classic jokes. 

I hope you like them.

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 

"I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" 

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. 

The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good. The best I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing. 

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says........................ 

"Grandpa......... Go home."

* * *

I finally got around to going fishing this morning, but after a while, I ran out of worms. Then, I saw a  Cottonmouth, with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good  bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in  my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. I  grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His  eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him into the lake without  incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake....

 with two frogs in his mouth.
   
* * *

Father O'Malley  answers the phone. 

 

'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'  

 

 'It is!'

 

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?' 

 

 'I can!'

 

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 

 

 'I do!'

 

 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 

 

 'He is!' 

 

 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 

 

 'He will.'

 

Of course, no hump day post would be complete with a good "aw".

Yeah, that did the trick.

Okay, did those do it? Did I get you over the mid week hump? Yes? Okay, my work here is done.

Did you have a favorite?

  

Thought for the Day:

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?