Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Weddings and Hunters and Bye Bye for a Couple Hump Days

Happy Hump Day

Are you here for some funnies to get you over the mid-week hump? Well, that's great because I happen to have some for you.

This one will appeal more to the ladies but I think you guys can appreciate it, too.

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new wife to exchange it, but she refused.

"Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it."

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear...I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.''

Here's a report of "shots fired" I'd like to see.

A friend dropped by the other day and shared this:

We had a power outage at yesterday. My PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad, iPod, and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat, and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.

I went into the kitchen to make coffee and remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my husband for a few hours.

He seems like a real nice person.

Ouch, I think there's a warning in there.

I couldn't decide if this next one should be a funny or an "aw".

What do you think?

But I saved this one for your "aw".

I love these unlikely friendships.

I'm afraid these funnies are going to have to carry you over a couple more humps. I'm leaving this weekend with our church disaster recovery team to work on a re-build project in New Jersey. 
(Were you aware they're still re-building from super-storm Sandy out there?)
I'll be off line - except for the occasional Facebook-by-phone post - for the next two weeks. Please come back and say hi on April 9.

Hope these got you over this week's hump with maybe a little left over.
See you in a couple weeks.

Groaner for Today:

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.  
'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.  
'A golf gun? What's a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'


Crystal Collier said...

=( That tree... Poor tree... =)

Goodness, that husband one is so sad because I think it's more and more true. BUT, I really like the deer report. =)

Julie Luek said...

I have to echo Chrystal on the husband one. Although I did chuckle a bit.

Blessings to you on your trip-- will be praying for the protection of your team. Love does great work.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Good luck on your trip--don't get hurt!!!

Your groaner was a real groaner, that's for sure. I think that alone will hold me for a while!! :)

Maryann Miller said...

These were all fun. Really loved the groaner. LOL Have fun on your re-build project. It is so good of you to volunteer your time like that.

Linda G. said...


Hope your trip goes well. Can't believe they're still rebuilding after Sandy! Stay safe. :)

mshatch said...

Loved that first one and the aw made me smile - as always. Hope you get lots accomplished in NJ. I did not know they were still cleaning up but I shouldn't be surprised. After all, look at New Orleans.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I like that mother of the bride. Go, momma!
My husband has some work scheduled in NJ in May.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The groaner is just that!
Sad, but I bet a lot of people haven't just sat and talked in ages.

LD Masterson said...

Crystal - The husband one struck me both ways, too. Funny but...

Julie - Thank you. Prayers are always welcome.

Stacy - I figured you were due for a good groaner. Glad you liked it.

Maryann - It's good to be able to.

Linda G. - Sadly, when the news cameras go home, people forget how long it takes to re-build.

mshatch - Yup. they're still recovering from Katrina and will be for a long time.

Susan G/K - Yeah, I loved that one.
Where will your husband be?

Alex - Gotta have a groaner now and then. And, I agree, there was a lot of truth in that joke.

Angela Brown said...

The one with the mom...I have to say I like that one. The mom is a cool cucumber :-)

The one with the buck...I wonder if it would be reported as "buck shots?"

Be safe while you're out helping others and bless you for doing what you do!

And yes, I have a double-cutie awww for the kitten and chick to young to be anything but fuzzy buddies :-)

Carol Kilgore said...

I like the mother of the bride's attitude :)

I'll be on a blog break in April, but I'll see you in May.

You'll have a rewarding experience in New Jersey.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Ah, ya made me smile again. Sweet justice to the ex-wife in the first story.

Arlee Bird said...

Well I'm a guy but I could appreciate the dress story. Devious with a dash of comeuppance.

An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out

mooderino said...

The first two jokes were quite deep. Nice twists.

Moody Writing

Heather Musk said...

I love the mother-of-the-bride story, just brilliant!

And it was a definite 'aw!' for the tree.

I hope all goes well in New Jersey, see you when you get back!

Mike Keyton said...

You must have heard my groan from across the pond! Brilliant. Ref New Jersey, I think what you do is great, Linda. There. I've said it :)

Robin said...

The tree picture made me sad.

The wedding story: hilarious.

The groaner joke... it worked. I groaned.

The aw... adorable.

I hope that you have an amazing time in NJ. In high school I spent a week with the youth group in WV helping a poverty stricken family make much-needed repairs on their home. It was a wonderful lesson on appreciating what you have and learning what a delight it is to help others. I think that doing good for others makes us feel good.

See you when you return!

Tyrean Martinson said...

Poor tree. :(
Cute kitten and chick :)
And the dress at the rehearsal dinner . . . oy. :)

Love your heart for rebuilding, and I hope you have a blessed time!

Jemi Fraser said...

Love the chick & cat!!! That wedding dress story is priceless though! :)

Lexa Cain said...

I LOVE the deer comic and the "Aw" pic! I laughed at the friend's electricity outage story, the dress one, and poor Juan too. I'm so sorry to lose you and your adorable funnies for a few weeks, but it's for a worthy cause. You're a kind and generous soul. Have a good weekend, and good luck with the rebuilding effort. :)

Mason Canyon said...

What can I say, your posts always make me laugh. I especially like the unlikely friendship photos. Wishing you a safe and productive trip to New Jersey. Take care.

Maria Zannini said...

I love the mother of the bride story. Comeuppance never came so sweet. :)

Lydia Kang said...

I love that cat and duckling set of photos! Your blog always makes me smile.

Cate Masters said...

Bless you for helping to rebuild my home state. :)

LD Masterson said...

Angela - Buck shot? Now that qualifies as a groaner.

Carol - Thanks. Have a nice April blog break.

Donna - Yeah, I love that one. Wouldn't you love to see the new wife's face.

Lee - Exactly.

mood - I couldn't decide if the second one was a joke or a lesson but it seemed worth including.

Heather - Thanks. See you then.

Mike - Oh, was that what that noise was?

Robin - I wish more people would try doing this kind of volunteer work just once. They'd be surprised how rewarding it can be.

Tyrean - Thanks.

Jemi - Yeah, it was my favorite.

Lexa - Thanks, and I'll see you in a couple weeks.

Mason - Thanks. And I'm glad I gave you a chuckle.

Maria - Sweet indeed.

Lydia - That's what I'm here for.

Cate - Thanks you. If enough people just do what they can, it'll get done.

Julie Flanders said...

Love the deer report.

Have a safe trip and I hope you are able to help lots of people there. It's impossible to imagine what those people have gone through since Sandy.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Good luck in Jersey. And yes, that is a total aww...

Heather Holden said...

The "aw" for this week is way too precious! Cutesy animal friendships like that always get to me...

Mark Koopmans said...

Stay safe in N.J. and God bless you and your team...that's an awesome thing y'all are doing :-)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Lots of good groaners today, but my favorite part of the post is the kitten and chick playing together. A definite AWWWWWW.

Take care. Wishing you all the best on your mission trip.

Scribbles From Jenn said...

That groaner was BAD, but the wedding dress one was AWESOME!

Liz Fichera said...

The tree and the kitty! :) Love. said...

Blessings to you on your recovery project. Thank you for keeping us cheered and amused in the meantime. You inspire, LD.

Take care.

Mike Keyton said...

A hole in Juan. Somebody needs shooting! :) Out of all the stuff here, the telegraph pole just made me sad.

Mike Keyton said...

Aagh. Don't answer that last comment Linda. Just realised I've already commented. If you don't answer we can just pretend my brain isn't going soft