Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Getting Back to Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day

First, I want to thank everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers on the passing of my dear dad. They really helped as I try to get used to life without him here. I take great comfort in knowing my mom and dad, who were together for 65 years in this life, are together again.



Now on to your funnies.

This one needs no caption.


I love those eyes.

Do you know this feeling?

Yup. Been there.


I like this joke on the age old battle of the sexes.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." 

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


The next two pictures have the same caption: 
Priorities.



Mindboggling.


Okay, this one's a little long but it made me laugh.

A bookie was at the races playing the ponies and doing badly. Then he noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. 
 
Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race. 
 
Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses. The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race. 
 
He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next. He bet big on it, and it won. As the races continued the Priest kept blessing horses, and each one ended up winning. The bookie was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on .
 
True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was100/1.  This time the priest blessed the animal's eyes, ears, and hooves. The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned.

He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up and couldn't even finish the race. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was and confronted him. 
 
"Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed never even had a chance. Now, thanks to you, I've lost every cent of my savings!" 
 
The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "You are not Catholic are you, my son?"

"No, I'm not."  
 
"That's the problem," said the Priest. "You couldn't tell the difference between a blessing and last rites."


Oh, come on. You laughed. Admit it.


 Time for your "aw".  Have you got one for this little family?


Yeah, me too.


That's it for today. Did we get there? Are you over the mid-week hump and coasting toward the weekend? Great.
Did you have a favorite?

I'm still playing catch up on my blog visits but I hope to get around to everyone soon.

Have a great week/weekend.


Thought for Today:



19 comments:

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Glad I started mt blog visits here today. Had to share some with my husband who is off work this morning.

Maryann Miller said...

Loved the funnies. Glad you are back to blogging. This grief stuff is hard, but plowing through it and being productive every day helps. Lately I've wished for a Clydesdale to help me with my plow. :-)

Mason Canyon said...

Linda, you always make me laugh with these Wednesday posts. I'm not sure which is funnier the jokes or the photos. Love them all. Take care, my friend.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey, those fish will be all right. Although maybe they would've had more fun swimming with the beer?

Lexa Cain said...

I loved that "battle of the sexes" story! And the horse race one was great too. Both the longing on the dog's face and the cat family rated big awws from me. ;)

Maria Zannini said...

Your parents looked adorable! People knew how to dress back then.

Being a Catholic, I really liked the horse race story. :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Last rites - LOL!!

Jemi Fraser said...

The bookie one cracked me up :)
And the guy in the tent with the bike???? Yikes!

Carol Kilgore said...

Love the thought of the day!

LD Masterson said...

Susan G/K - hope your hubby enjoyed them.

Maryanne - I'd settle for a sturdy pony.

Mason - Thanks. Glad you liked them.

Alex - As long as they don't end up swimming in a keg.

Lexa - I didn't think of the dog as an aw but I guess he qualifies.

Maria - So you wouldn't have bet on the old nag?

Diane - I almost didn't include that joke because it was a bit long but it was just too funny not to.

Jemi - And you're the first person to comment on it.

Carol - Yup. Too true.

mshatch said...

OMG the pic of the dog freaking out in the water made me laugh - thanks for that :)

Mike Keyton said...

That is a wonderful picture of your mum and dad. As for the funnies, the silent treatment did it for me :)

Robin said...

Funny stuff today!

Love that pic of the dog jumping out of the water:)

Julie Flanders said...

The dog jumping out of the water cracked me up. I have been there too LOL.

That's a wonderful photo of your parents.

Misha Gericke said...

Sorry for your loss. *hug*

Liz Fichera said...

Hugs on the passing of your father...

Clarissa Draper said...

I'm so glad that the funnies are back. I just love the cute fotos and jokes.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's amazing that your parents had/have such a lifelong love. May memories keep you comforted.

It's worth it to stop by here for your aww photos alone, LD.

Thank you, and take gentle care.

LD Masterson said...

mshatch - hey, I've done that.

Mike - Thank you. And I'm glad you liked that joke. So did I.

Robin - Glad you like it.

Julie - That dog picture seems to be the winner of the day.

Misha - Thank you.

Liz - Thanks.

Clarissa - Enjoy!

Robyn - Thanks. I hope you stop by every week.