Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Without Rhyme or Reason

Happy Hump Day

I'm not happy this morning. I have to break in a new baby doctor. No, not that kind of baby doctor (heaven forbid!). 

I should explain. Last fall, my family doctor, who'd been taking care of me for 35 years, was killed in an accident. When I got past grieving for the loss of this wonderful man, I realized I had to find a new doctor.  I put off the search for several months and when I finally started looking, I discovered our area is experiencing a shortage of doctors in family practice, so much so that no one is taking new patients. Except this one practice who just added a new doctor to their staff. The emphasis on "new". I'm talking fresh out of residency, ink barely dry on his license new. I've seen his picture. He looks younger than my grandson. He's a baby!

I hate going to a new doctor.

Okay, moving on...

If you're hunting for the theme in this post, good luck. I couldn't find it either.  Instead you're getting a random assortment of things that made me laugh. Or at least chuckle.

But not giggle. I don't believing in giggling. It's undignified.

This first picture is an actual screen shot of my phone's weather app taken yesterday.

Either it was really, really cold or my phone is having a nervous breakdown.
(It's better now.)

You know what's fun to do in bad weather? Sit around and think up ways to make people crazy.

Like these...

I like number two.

A friend told me this little story the other day.

I went over to the local gun shop the other day to get a small 9mm for home protection.   

When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." 

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. 

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!! 

 I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. 

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.  

 I still don't think I looked that bad..................................... 

That was NOT me.

You know I can't do a hump day post without at least one funny pet photo.

I understood this completely. Not too fond of spiders myself.

Hey, did you realize Lent begins today. I always try to do something to improve myself during Lent. Like exercise. I've got a great plan if you'd like to try it. 

 LD's Super Exercise Plan

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

3. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bag.

4. Then try 50-lb potato bag and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level)

5. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato into each bag.

Hee hee hee.
(You saw that coming, didn't you?)

Time for your "aw".

I'm going traditional with this one - dog and baby.
But look at that face.

Come on, you know you said it.

That's it for today.  Are we there? Over the hump?

Did you have a favorite?

As I mentioned, I'm going to be off breaking, in the new baby doctor this morning so I won't get around to visit anyone till later.

Wish me luck.

Have a great week and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

My younger grandson turned 14 on Monday. The family had plans to go out for dinner but there was this big snowstorm so they stay home, ate in, and retired to the hot tub on their back deck. I've done the "hot tub with snow falling" bit and it's really quite nice. My grandson, on the other hand, decided it would be more fun to jump out of the tub, race around the yard in his swimsuit, and flop into the snow making snow angels.

Oh, to be young and stupid again.

(Happy Birthday, Cooper.)


Michelle Wallace said...

" is having a nervous breakdown." That made me laugh.
That face is irresistible... awwwwwww! There, I said it!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The potato bag one is bad.
The time machine one could be fun. If someone else did it of course.
Sorry about having to find a new doctor.
And if that was really the temperature, then it's a sign of the apocalypse.

Michael Di Gesu said...

You are TOO FUNNY!

I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the potato story. And no I didn't see it coming. I was majorly impressed though.

As for your doctor situation. Think of it like this. THERE are so many new discoveries in medicine every second and to have a bright, young, doctor for your doctor is NOT NECESSARILY a BAD think. He/she will be current and may now of remedies a much older, set in his ways, doctor wouldn't.

Plus, just for comparison, look how many YOUNG writers are getting six figure contracts. Just because you're young doesn't mean you do HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!

Today's generation is VERY BRIGHT!

LOVED the dog/spider pic. I ALWAYS laugh with your posts, L.D...


mshatch said...

If I was a dog that would be me. I don't like spiders either.

Lexa Cain said...

Good luck with the new doctor and with that weird weather app. I loved the potato bag story! So funny! I also loved that To-Do list. Everything made me laugh (and "aw") this week. Thanks so much!! :)

Crystal Collier said...

I know what you mean with new doctors. My father and grandfather were both doctors, and I don't trust a doctor unless he's been practicing at least 20 years. Feeling for you and wishing you much luck!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I know there is a real shortage of Family Doctors so I hope the 'baby' works out for you.
Yes, young and stupid can be more fun than wise and arthritic.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL - add potatoes.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

I had to get a new baby doctor too. Ours was a bouncing baby girl fresh out of med school. We love her. She's sweet and wonderful.

I didn't see the potato one coming. LOL

Arlee Bird said...

Gosh, I don't know where to start. You've outdone yourself this week. All winners here.

My health care provider seems to give me a new doctor every couple years. They've always been women and it seems the old I get, the younger and cuter the doctors get. I probably should be going to the doctor more often.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out

Maria Zannini said...

Where do you live? Neptune?

I hear you on the baby doctor. I hope he can help though.

Time to start nudging the grandkids to take an interest in medicine. :)

LD Masterson said...

Michelle - Yup, you did. *grin*

Alex - Well, it's been feeling that cold but I'm pretty sure it was just my phone.

Michael - I'm glad I can make you laugh. (and just between you and me, I'm back from the baby doctor and he wasn't too bad)

mshatch - But have you ever destroyed a door over one?

Lexa - You're very welcome.

Crystal - Is you dad your doctor? I'm not sure if that would feel weird or comforting.

Susan G/K - And then there are those of us who go for stupid & arthritic. *waves hand*

Diane - But work up to it slowly.

Elizabeth - I got a lot of people with that potato joke. Love it.

Lee - Be careful. Think of what they could do if you misbehave.

Maria - Worse. Ohio.

DL Hammons said...

*Giggling* Oh....ahem *Snickering*

Carol Kilgore said...

Loved all this. Especially your grandson's snow angels :)

Stacy McKitrick said...

The spider one was the best, but the potato exercise was a close second. Funny day! Sorry I'm late visiting. Hope your doctor appt. went okay.

Kaye George said...

#4 and 6 for me--laughed out loud!

There are advantages to baby doctors. And disadvantages. But on the plus side, they're up on the latest and greatest. He might have some good ideas. But you'll have to be firm with him.

LD Masterson said...

DL - Ah, very dignified.

Carol - I couldn't believe he didn't freeze.

Stacy - It wasn't too bad, thanks. Glad you enjoyed the funnies.

Kaye - I took him a lollipop. LOL

Kimberly said...

Sorry about the doctor thing - that is hard.

I cracked up on so many of those To Do list items - best list ever. And was totally cracking up on the stripping down story - lol!

Happy birthday to your grandson!

Jemi Fraser said...

Happy Birthday to the Brave Cooper! Sounds like fun!

The potato bag one cracked me up! (didn't see it coming :))

Donna K. Weaver said...

Ahh ... new doctors. I'm sure he's got great support with the other docs in the practice though. They all have to start somewhere and they spend a lot of years in their residency. It's not like someone right out of medical school. :D

Maryann Miller said...

OMG, I was getting so impressed with your workout. Then you zinged me. LOL

And kudos to your grandson. We all need to do silly things sometimes.

Thanks for the chuckles and the wonderful "awe" picture. Yes. I did say, "aw."

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Good luck with the new doctor. It's kinda weird to be at that point where our doctor and dentist are younger than we are... not to mention the firemen, policemen, and the president of the United States. (sigh) Oh well. Beats the alternative.

Hey! I do believe you've come up with an exercise I can handle! (That'll fit right in with my jumping to conclusions and doing diddly-squats...)

The awww picture is adorable. LOVE that dog.

Happy weekend!

dolorah said...

Lots of fun to get me through the weekend :) I hate looking for a doctor. I hate going to the doctor.

farawayeyes said...

It's well past 'hump day', but I really needed this. Now I think I can make it through the weekend.

YIKES to #1 on that list. Kind of turns my stomach just to think about it.

Oh and that Potato Bag exercise, well, this dumb blonde did NOT see that one coming, but I still think I might try it out.

AND, finally, my dog has tried that spider thing, but I didn't fall for it. Nope. not for one minute. said...

No, I didn't see that coming at all. In fact, I was thinking "*bleep*! she's a stud for balancing all those potatoes."

Sorry about your doctor. That's very sad, and it's triply irritating to have a new Dr. who's even younger than Doogie Howser MD.

LD Masterson said...

Kimberly - Thanks, all around.

Jemi - To be honest, I didn't see it the first time I heard it either.

Donna - Oh, I know he's got to be competent, it's just hard starting over.

Maryann - Gave you chuckles and an "aw" work here is done.

Susan F.S. - Oh, I'm very big on diddly-squats. Happy weekend to you, too.

dolorah - You and me both.

farawayeyes - Aw, come on. You gotta believe an arachnophobia dog sometimes.

Robyn - Do you watch the Mentalist (or DID you, since it just ended it's run)? The new doc looks like the character Wylie. And, hey, I am a stud. Sort of. Well...maybe not.

Emily R. King said...

Sorry to hear about your previous doctor. It is so hard to find a new one who understands you and listens! I hope your 'baby doc' works out!

The dog pic with the spider tag is priceless!

Karen Lange said...

You always make me laugh! Thank you. Love the to-do list. My favorite is #6. Will have to try it sometime. :)

LD Masterson said...

Emily - You know, I feel a little selfish complaining about having to find a new doctor. The truth is my previous doctor was a wonderful person and it's a much greater tragedy that his life was cut short.

Karen - Now you know I had to scroll up to see which one was number six. And, yup, I loved that one, too.

Empty Nest Insider said...

LOVED the strip down story! The exercise bit was also a hoot! I'm sorry that your doctor passed away. Hope everything goes smoothly with your "baby doctor." Happy belated birthday to your grandson!


Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi LD .. honestly that strip down story made me laugh out loud ... and your baby grandson - albeit 14 - they can revert still ...

I hope the young whippersnapper doc proves his worth ... just very sad about someone who dies suddenly like that - sad for his family too ...

The vanilla pud looks fun ... but # 2 is a brilliant idea ... and your phone - glad it's recovered itself ...

Cheers Hilary

Linda G. said...

Man, I'm late commenting this week. Ugh. Life got busy.

I feel your pain on breaking in a new doctor. I used to insist on a female doctor, because I wanted someone who had firsthand knowledge of all the parts. Now I think I want an over-fifty doc (at least), because I want someone with real empathy for the aging process. ;)

LD Masterson said...

Julie - Thanks all around. And I'm glad I gave you a laugh.

Hilary - Things appear to be moving in the right direction, thanks. Well, the jury is still out on the grandson. (Just kidding, Coop.)

Linda G. - Always glad to see you whenever you get here. I had planned to switch to a female doctor this time but couldn't find one. Same with one a little older. Oh well. Baby doctor wasn't too bad. But SOOO young.

Eva Prokop said...

Fantastic LD! I love the potato joke and the dog who hates spiders's all good!

Clarissa Draper said...

I loved the potato exercise plan. Just right for me. Also, love your phone app. I know it's cold now but it's expected to go up a couple of thousand degrees to 27.

LD Masterson said...

Eve - thanks!

Clarissa - I love a gentle thousand degree warming, don't you?

Mike Keyton said...

Linda, thank you for the potato bag exercise :) Ref Baby doctors, I hit the other end of the spectrum when, I realised I'd soon be teaching the grandchildren of my first pupils :(

Sherry Ellis said...

Good luck finding a new doctor. I know how you feel about them being "babies." My doctor is younger than me, too, and I'm only in my forties!

LD Masterson said...

Mike - Grandchildren? Wow, you're really old. (heeheehee)

Sherry - I'm reaching that point where every professional I deal with is younger than me. It's a bit discouraging.

Mike Keyton said...

No Linda, I started teaching when I was twelve :)