Well, one personal note... my grandson was over last night and we watched the season premiere of American Horror Story on TV. We were a couple minutes late and the dog started without us. He shouldn't watch those things alone.
You may remember I claim the right to tell little old lady jokes because I am one. I like this one:
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the seniors' special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. "Sounds good," my wife said. "but I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.
"I'm afraid so," said the waitress.
"I'll take the special then," my wife said.
"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake."
Yup, that's what I'd do.
You know, I shouldn't let that dog watch so much TV, but it does keep him out of trouble. I hate to keep posting these...
And I mean the big cruisers, not just the little X wings.
How about a little something to exercise your brain and not just your funny bone. Try this...
A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his three sons. When his sons opened up the Will it read:
My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.
As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart, to see if he could work it out for them. The farmer friend read the Will patiently, after giving due thought, he brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17. That increased the total to 18 horses.
Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
Now add up how many horses they have:
Eldest son 9
Middle son 6
Youngest son 2
TOTAL = 17
Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm.
Problem solved!
Um, can you run that one by me again???
Let's switch from math to English.
Yeah, I know you did.
Here's a little mechanical funny:
WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water
in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the
carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is.
I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
Well, she tried to tell him...
Okay, here' s your "aw" for today. I dare you not to say it for this guy.
Don't you want to run and get him another one?
That's it. Did you find a chuckle in here somewhere? A giggle? A good old LOL?
I hope so. Did you have a favorite?
Have a great weekend and I'll see you next week.
Thought For Today:
