Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Hump Day Funnies from the Church Ladies

Happy Hump Day

Okay, I'll admit it. Some weeks my Hump Day funnies just magically appear in my e-mail inbox. 
That's what happened yesterday.  

For your Hump Day pleasure, I give you...church ladies with typewriters. 
Also known as:

 Church Bulletin Bloopers.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' 
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'  

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 

 Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. 

 A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. 

  Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

 Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.  

 Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. 

 The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 

 This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.


Now for your "aw". Take a look at that face.

Contentment


Are we good? Did you find enough chuckles in there to carry you over the hump and onto the downward slope to Friday. Yes? Then my work here is done. 

Any favorites today? 


Thought for Today:

How important does a person have to be before they're considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

18 comments:

Tara Tyler said...

i had to forward this to my parents! hilarious!

fave is bringing things not worth keeping around the house to rummage sale - husbands! ha ha!

Maria Zannini said...

These were good!

--Obviously, I need a blanket. I wasn't as prepared to sin as I thought. :)

LD Masterson said...

Tara - It's always good to share a laugh.

Maria - Well, the blanket probably isn't necessary but it does make things more comfortable. *grin*

Angela Brown said...

Okay, I was already in a good mood but that just kicked me into a happier place.

Those were hilarious. Like Maria, I better bring a blanket because it's not often we're told to "prepare" to sin lol!!!

Carol Kilgore said...

My favorite:
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Sheena-kay Graham said...

This was fun, thanks for sharing.

LD Masterson said...

Angela - I love helping people to a happier place.

Carol - Yeah, that was my favorite, too.

Sheena-kay - You're welcome. And thanks for coming by.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I've seen these before, but I still love them. The one about the music following the beans always cracks me up, but I really like all of them.

Lexie C. said...

Good grief, I'm so glad I ended up here today! Thanks for the bundle of laughs! :)

Nancy Thompson said...

Thanks for the giggles!

Linda G. said...

LOL! I giggled myself silly at the bloopers. Thanks. :)

LD Masterson said...

Susan - My grandsons love that one the most. And thank you for becoming a Follower.

Lexie - Well, I'm glad you ended up here today, too.

Nancy - You're welcome. That's what Wednesdays are for.

Linda G. - Aw come on. You were already silly. *grin*

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hopefully if you are placing your deceased person in the envelope, they were cremated.

Sarah Allen said...

My mom sat and read these together and laughed so hard we were almost crying :)

Sarah Allen
(From Sarah With Joy)

Michael Di Gesu said...

These were GREAT! LOL. Thanks for the laughs, LD.

That pup is SOOO ADDDDDOORRRRAAABLE.

LD Masterson said...

Alex - Or it was a REALLY big envelope.

Sarah - I'm glad you enjoyed them together.

Michael - You're welcome. And didn't you just love that little face?

Andrew said...

Haha. I love them. Especially the pot luck supper.

LD Masterson said...

Hey, Andrew - I almost missed your comment. Glad you enjoyed them.