Wednesday, October 23, 2013

More Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day!

And here we go with some funnies to get you over the mid-week hump.

First, though, a Public Service Announcement.

Good to know, do you think?

Now a few thoughts from an older mind...

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.  I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a  whole lot more as they get older.
Then, it dawned on me.  They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

A question to ponder.

Why do they?

Here's an interesting fact.

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?

Well, penguins are very ritualistic birds. They mate for life and have a strong sense of family and community. Their social structure is both complex and very well-ordered.  

When a member of the penguin community dies, the others will dig a hole in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough to receive the dead penguin.

Then the males of the group will gather in a circle around the grave and sing,

"Freeze a jolly good fellow
Freeze a jolly good fellow
Freeze a jolly good fellow
So into the hole he goes."

What? You really didn't really think I know anything about penguins, did you?

Okay, something for all my writer friends. 

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Yup, I think that one's true.

Now for your hump day"aw". I've got a great one for you this week.

 Every little guy needs his teddy.

That's it. Did we get there? Are you over the hump and coasting toward the weekend? Great! 
Did you have any favorites?

The World Series begins tonight. 

Quote of the Day:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain


Maria Zannini said...

If he works for Microsoft he really got his wish.

That puppy and teddy bear were adorable. Nana does that--with the stuffing she pulls out of her toys. Doh!

Julie Flanders said...

Oh my gosh I love the puppy and his teddy bear. Also love the cat at the car window haha.

Enjoy the Series and I hope the Red Sox make you very happy!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Freeze a jolly good fellow - that's a groaner!
I hope God grades on a curve as well.

Julie Dao said...

I cracked up at the penguin burial joke. Love it! GO RED SOX!!!!!! (I can't watch the game, because as you know, that will jinx them. But I will wait for results later tonight with bated breath)

Robin said...

Works for Microsoft writing error messages. Bwahahahaha. Hilarious.

Stacy McKitrick said...

I have a question for you regarding your Sox players: What's with all the beards? Do they think they're playing hockey?

There aren't any teams I care about in the series this year (sorry), so I won't be watching. However, I won't mind it if the Sox beat the Cards, because I'm sick and tired of the Cards being in it.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! He works for Microsoft.

Tara Tyler said...

awesome!!! made my day! freeze a jolly good fellow! ha!
and awwwwww my pup had a stuffed bear too
and yay red sox!!

LD Masterson said...

Maria - Next time, just buy her a bag of stuffing.

Julie - Thanks. Me, too.

Alex - Well, I've got to throw a groaner in there from time to time. I have a reputation to maintain.

Julie - Can you believe I can't watch the game tonight either? We have theater tickets. But you know I'll be on my phone during intermission, checking the score.

Robin - Glad you liked that one.

Stacy - A couple guys started their beards during spring training. As the year went on and they were playing well, some more of them joined in. Then it became a good luck thing so by the time they reached the playoffs, everyone had chin whiskers of some kind. I'm guessing there'll be a lot of shaving going on when the season's over.

Diane - Hee hee hee.

Tara - I love making someone's day. Thanks.

Linda G. said...

Freeze a jolly good fellow? GROAN!!! (Good one.) Aslo, awwwww. :)

Cate Masters said...

Ah, you got me. :)

Such a cute pic! I had a cat who loved a Sylvester stuffed animal. They were both black and white, and I always wondered if my cat thought it was his (dull) sibling.

Michelle Wallace said...

Freeze a jolly good fellow! LOL
... and the blue teeth one is too funny!
Writer In Transit

Emily R. King said...

Ha! I smiled more than once, LD. Thanks so much. Your jokes are the best.

And no. I don't think you know anything about penguins. ;)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Good ones as usual. The one about Microsoft has to be true. That would be living the dream.

Clarissa Draper said...

Awe! Love these as usual.

LD Masterson said...

Linda G - Well, I haven't done a really bad groaner for a while. I thought it was time.

Cate - The perfect sibling. Never starts a fight or demands half of whatever.

Michelle - Oh good, I thought I was the only one who laughed at that blue teeth line.

Emily - Just another item in a long list of things I don't know anything about.

LD Masterson said...

Susan - I used to write smaller "in-house" programs (just for our staff) and I had lots of fun with the error messages.

Clarissa - Thanks. Glad you did.

Jemi Fraser said...

You totally got me on the penguin one! That's awesome!!! :)

M Pax said...

The public service announcment is priceless. lol And the cat... yeah, they don't like the car so much. At least my two don't.

Emilyann Girdner said...

Love your musings and pictures as always. I need to start using the "a good doctor" response on apps, nice one!

P.S. Do you have any publications available on goodreads? Would like to add you to my to-read shelf and a widget for my blog =)

Keep Imagining,

LD Masterson said...

Jemi - Ha! Catcha!

M Pax - Well, I'm a blood donor so I know these things. (Unlike penguins, about which I know nothing.)

Emilyann - I only have the two: Flights of Fiction and Chicken Soup for the Soul It's Christmas. Flights of Fiction is not on Goodreads. I need to check into that. I thought it was. But the CSFTS It's Christmas is definitely on there. Thank you so much for asking.

Sarah Allen said...

I can always count on this blog to make me feel better :) That public service announcement is awesome :)

Sarah Allen
(From Sarah, with Joy)

Mike Keyton said...

Thank you for the penguin joke. It's the kind you can develop over a pint or two - lulling friends from a serious discussion into a pint-stopping groan. I'll probably wait until they've finished their pints just in case they throw them over me!

Nicki Elson said...

Cramming for their finals, haHA! I was already Awwwing at the penguin story...until I found out it wasn't true! Tricky, tricky, tricky.

This post does a fine job on Thursday, too. :)

Heather Holden said...

Eiii, I don't think I can handle today's "aw" moment. Way too cute!

LD Masterson said...

Sarah - Hey, that's what I'm here for.

Mike - The original version was several pints long, I had to trim it. Wouldn't want that many pints tossed at me.

Nicki - Gotcha.

Heather - Yeah, that one had "aw" written all over it.

Al Diaz said...

You never fail to make me laugh every time I come to visit. I was seriously wondering if it was true penguins buried their dead, hahahaha.
Also, it would be great if you could drop by the cave to pick up an invitation with your name on it. You're in my guests of honor list, LD. I leave you Dragon Hugs! said...

I love your sense of humor. I'm going to sport my garage door opener too.

Cheers, and happy weekend.

Patricia Stoltey said...

After today, I'd say the wannabe writer was working for Yahoo!

That puppy picture is so sweet. Must not get a puppy, must not get a puppy, must not get a puppy.

I have to repeat that several times after seeing adorable dog pictures.

Millie Burns said...

Thanks for the smiles : ) Love the Mark Twain quote and the end : )

LD Masterson said...

Al - I was honored to be included. Hugs to you, too.

Robyn - Well, it's cheaper than a smart phone. And a smart phone won't let me in my garage.

Patricia - Aw, go one. Get a puppy.

Millie - You're welcome, and thank you.