Wednesday, October 16, 2013

All New Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day.

And thanks to everyone who offered good wishes on my story being included in Chicken Soup for the Soul, It's Christmas!

Now how about some hump day funnies to get you over the mid-week hump and on the downhill slide to the weekend?

Anyone have a teenager at home? I'll bet you can relate to this one.

Here's a joke I like.

Ron Chestna was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

Yeah, I'll bet a few of you can relate to that one, too. 

Here's a good thing to know.

And, of course, we can't go without our weekly "aw".

How's this?

You know you said it.

That's it. Did we get there? Are you over the hump? I hope so. Did you have a favorite?

I wish you all a lovely weekend. See you Monday.

Groaners for Today:

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render.

Why was the math book sad?
It had so many problems.

Where can you weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.  (Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie...)


Arlee Bird said...

The Ron Chestna story sent me into a laughing fit. Hilarious.

My teenagers have all flown the coop but I did have some times with my young Birds.

Wrote By Rote

Heather Holden said...

The "aww" definitely got to me--too cute! Also, I found that math groaner way too funny... XD

Donna K. Weaver said...

Thanks for the laughs!

Mike Keyton said...

I'm with Ron. If he doesn't exist he should!

Maria Zannini said...

Oh, no. Groaners are back. :)

But I do like sad math.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Not that I ever get stopped by the police, but if I did, I hope I can come up with something clever to say.
Yeah, hump day.

Linda G. said...

There you go, making me "Aww" and laugh and groan again! Thanks. :)

Karen Walker said...

Hilarious, LD. This must mean you're feeling better!

LD Masterson said...

Lee - As did I. Those were the days.

Heather - Glad you liked them. (The pie groaner was my favorite.)

Donna - My pleasure.

Mike - Yup. I agree.

Maria - I knew you were missing them.

Susan - Not me. I just try to look contrite and pitiful and hope for a warning.

Linda G. - Yea! I hit the trifecta.

Karen - I'm getting there. Thanks.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Such fun! I LOOK forward to every Wednesday just to visit you LD....

Yes, I awwwwed... LOL.

Mark Means said...

Haha, all of those had me chuckling....great pics :)

Have a great hump day and the rest of the week, as well :D

LD Masterson said...

Michael - Why, thank you. I look forward to having you.

Mark - You, too.

Robin said...

I can see why that joke is a favorite. Very funny.

And the pic did get the Awwww.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The one about the lecture is hilarious!

Clarissa Draper said...

I just love these! Thanks.

LD Masterson said...

Robin - A laugh and an "aw". I'm two for two.

Alex - Thanks again for the shout out today. I really appreciate it.

Clarissa - Thank you and you're welcome.

Julie Dao said...

I snorted at the math book joke! Hilarious! Congratulations on your story being included in Chicken Soup... I love that series and own several, and I'll have to buy this new one when it comes out!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

That Golden is in her golden years, too. You can tell by the muzzle.

Carol Kilgore said...

Loved all the funnies! And that Golden ... total love :)

LD Masterson said...

Julie - Don't you love a good snort. I hope you like my 'Chicken Soup' story.

Diane - Yes, an old girl looking after a new one. I can feel the gentleness in that kiss.

Carol - Thanks, Carol.

Tina said...

weigh a pie...good one! I love jokes like that.
Thanks for the funnies!
Tina @ Life is Good

mshatch said...

Yeah, I like the Ron one, too :)

Lexa Cain said...

OMG - loved these, especially the teen bird (probably also tweeting her friends too much and listening to rowdy songs), and the wife's lecture. Plus "weigh a pie" really cracked me up! Thanks for the smiles! :-)

Michelle Wallace said...

Awwwww! There I said it! It IS such an awwww moment...

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high...
Weigh a multi-coloured pie? Hee! Hee!
Had a good laugh with that one!
Writer In Transit

LD Masterson said...

Tina - Hey, that was my favorite of those, too.

mshatch - Rang true to me. *grin*

Lexa - My pleasure. I love to share a good laugh.

Michelle - Don't you love a good "awwww"?