Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I'm Back! With Funnies for You and Apologies for Carol Kilgore.

Happy Hump Day.

Hi. What's everyone been up to while I was gone? No, wait. Don't tell me. I'll be around to visit everyone as soon as I can.

I know you've been missing your hump day funnies (you have missed them, right?) so let's dive right in.

You'd think for my first post, I'd have come up with a theme but the only connection between today's pictures and jokes is they made me laugh.

Starting with...

I know this feeling. How about you?

A friend of mine shared this with me...

I had to make a quick stop at the grocery the other day so I parked my car in the lot and rolled down the windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had enough fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.  I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"

As I was walking, I passed a pretty young thing who was watching me with a strange look.

"Why," she asked me, "don't you just put it in park?" 

We won't discuss hair color on that one.

Now hair color on this one is a whole different matter.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that cracked me up, but it did.

This is my new favorite joke.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know…

She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I be acquitted?”

I love it!

This picture was a toss up for me as a funny or an "aw".  But when I thought of my teenage grandson, that tipped it to a funny.

I love the dog's expression.

Which brings us to your hump day "aw". This one was also both a funny and an "aw" but the sight of this poor fellow trying to make a bed for himself was an "aw" for me.

How about you?

Before I close, I have to offer my deepest apologies to my blog friend, author Carol Kilgore.  I promised Carol I'd be part of the June cover reveal for her new book, Secrets of Honor. Then I promptly took a blog break for the entire month. So, with apologies for my tardiness, I offer the beautiful cover for Secrets of Honor.

About Secrets of Honor...

By the end of a long evening working as a special set of eyes for the presidential security detail, all Kat Marengo wants is to kick off her shoes and stash two not-really-stolen rings in a secure spot. Plus, maybe sleep with Dave Krizak. No, make that definitely sleep with Dave Krizak. The next morning, she wishes her new top priorities were so simple.

As an operative for a covert agency buried in the depths of the Department of Homeland Security, Kat is asked to participate in a matter of life or death—locate a kidnapped girl believed to be held in Corpus Christi, Texas. Since the person doing the asking is the wife of the president and the girl is the daughter of the first lady’s dearest friend, it’s hard to say no.

Kat and Dave quickly learn the real stakes are higher than they or the first lady believed and will require more than any of them bargained for.

The kicker? They have twenty-four hours to find the girl—or the matter of life or death will become more than a possibility.

About Carol...

Carol writes grocery lists, texts to her family, new lyrics to old songs for her dogs, love notes to her husband, and novels for herself. And for you. In between, she blogs weekly at Under the Tiki Hut and is active on Facebook and Twitter.
She sees mystery and subterfuge everywhere. And she’s a sucker for a good love story—especially ones with humor and mystery. Crime Fiction with a Kiss gives her the latitude to mix and match throughout the broad mystery and romance genres. Having flexibility makes her heart happy.
Website with Monthly Contest:

Okay, that's it for today.  Did the funnies do it for you? Are you over the midweek hump? 
Great! Did you have a favorite?

Have a wonderful weekend. I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Bad decisions make good stories.  (REALLY, THEY DO...)


Mason Canyon said...

Linda, so glad to see you back. You and your funnies have been missed. My favorite is the first photo. That's my mornings. LOL

Murees Dupé said...

Welcome back. I hope the break was good. Thank you for making me laugh.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Will I be acquitted - LOL!

I love the cat in the bed. Our Spunky did something similar just the other day. Looked like he was melting.

Welcome back!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey LD!! Dig the Yoda funny. And I'm sure Carol doesn't mind it's a little late.

Carol Kilgore said...

Hi, Linda, and welcome back! No apology necessary - it's great seeing my cover reveal here again. Keeps the dream alive LOL :)

I loved every single one of your funnies and the aw moment.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Welcome back! And thanks for bringing the laughs. :)

mshatch said...

Loved the pics and the jokes - especially the last one - too funny. And I can't believe that Basset Hound stretched out. Dogs are ridiculous.

Maria Zannini said...

I loved the dog with the little girl. I've seen that look before.

And congrats to Carol!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Missed you and your funnies. Carole is so nice she'll forgive you.

Andiri rahmah said...

You asked for comments and follow my blog

Jemi Fraser said...

Yoda totally cracked me up too! And that last dog is a total awwww! :)

Michelle Wallace said...

Welcome back!
Carol's cover is absolutely divine...
Thanks for the laughs and the aw! moment...

LD Masterson said...

Mason - Thanks, it's good to be back.

Murees - My pleasure.

Diane - Cats always look like they're melting. I'm convinced they have liquid bones.

Alex - The Yoda was my favorite.

Carol - I did feel bad that I missed your reveal month. Thanks for not minding too much.

Stacy - Thanks, and you're welcome.

mshatch - I found a bunch of pics of dogs and cats resting in odd places. They might be next week's blog.

Maria - Yup, and I've seen it on non-canine faces.

Susan G/K - Thanks, she did.

Andiri - Thanks for stopping by.

Jemi - Hey, I got an "awwww". My day is complete.

Michelle - Thanks! And you're welcome.

Morgan said...

Hahahaha… LD, you *know* these are my favorite posts!!! I can always expect to laugh and I love it.

And holy---Carol is pumping out books like nobody's business. Amazing. She's so super talented!

Vanessa Morgan said...

So loving that lazy cat :)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Welcome back! Of course we missed you, silly. You AND your hump day funnies.

I especially like the first and last pictures. One of our grandchildren can fall asleep like that. He goes, goes, goes, and then PLOP! Absolutely amazing. It looks like his bones are liquid.

Carol's newest cover looks amazing, doesn't it?

Lexa Cain said...

Welcome back LD! I hope you had a good break and got a lot done. I love the funny pics and the silly stories. Great choices!

Congrats to Carol on her gorgeous cover! :)

Maryann Miller said...

So glad you are back, and I loved the funnies. The first one really got me as that is the way I've felt every day this week. I'm running the drama camp at the local art center and I keep forgetting I'm not 40, or 50 or even 60 anymore. The kids wear me out.

Cate Masters said...

Hope you had a relaxing time away, Linda!
Congrats to Carol! Love that cover. said...

You're hilarious. I'm referring to you generally but also to the comment about the hair on the woman who asked why you didn't just put your car in park.

Carol's a wonder woman.

Clarissa Draper said...

I love your hump days! They make me so happy! Welcome back.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Welcome back. I thank you for the smiles.

LD Masterson said...

Morgan - Yup, Carol blows me away.

Vanessa - Some mornings I feel exactly like that.

Susan F.S. - Small kids and pets... liquid bones and rubber band joints.

Lexa - Thanks. I never get as much done as I hope to but I made a dent.

Maryann - They have a way of doing that. Why does God give all the energy to the youngsters instead of us old fogies who really need it?

Cate - Thanks. It was good.

Robyn - Well, I wouldn't want to be guilty of stereotyping.

Clarissa - Every time I type your name, my fingers put in two Rs and one S, and I have to go back and fix it. Would you consider changing the spelling for me? *grin*

Donna - Thanks, and you're welcome.

Mike Keyton said...

That dog's expression is still haunting me. Might facebook it for keeps. Thank you :)

Robin said...

Sorry so late in getting here...

Bad decisions make good stories! OMG, you got that right. I just wrote a blog on that very thing... my own bad decision and how it all turned out.

So glad you are back. You were missed. I have been dragging without my funnies to keep me going.

LD Masterson said...

Mike - Please do. It's priceless.

Robin - I love to have you come by anytime.

Crystal Collier said...

Oh my. You have been missed. I'm so glad you're back! Whew! That cat one still has me chuckling.