Without Rhyme or Reason

Happy Hump Day

Here they are - your hump days funnies. A little something to get you over the midweek hump and on the slippery slope to the weekend.

In case you're looking for the theme of this post...don't. The only connection is they made me laugh. And I hope they do the same for you.

Hah! That'll show 'em.

Wait a minute. I think that picture and this joke are vaguely connected.

Or maybe not. 

A burglar broke into a home one night.  He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; when he heard, a strange voice echoing from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

After awhile when he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice and finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he whispered to the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Cute. And what's your name?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus."

Chomp Chomp.

I like this great marketing idea.

Well, it's true, isn't it?

How about this one?

Hope he makes bail.

Okay, one more joke.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 

And, of course, we can't forget your weekly "aw".

I'd love this one even without the pacifier.

Did you say it?

That's all for today. Are you there? 

Over the hump and heading down slope toward the weekend? 

Perfect!

Did you have a favorite?

Have a great week/weekend.

Groaner for Today:

Two men walked into a bar.

You’d think the second one would have seen it.