Thursday, November 17, 2016

The Return of the Groaner!

Hi. When I first started blogging, I used to include a "groaner" (a.k.a. a bad pun) in each of my posts. It occurred to me that I haven't done that in a while. So today we celebrate

The Return of the Groaner!

Today's post will be all puns (except for the pictures).
Are you ready to groan? 
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. 

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 

Well, I guess this picture is a pun.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it. 

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 

 This one isn't a pun. 
I just picked it because my book group meets tonight and I haven't finished the book.

 Okay, let's finish up with a slightly longer one. 

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.

Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. 

Oh, that one even made me groan.
Let's get to your "aw".

Look at that face.

You know you said it.

That's it for today. Too many groaners at one time could be dangerous. Did you have a favorite? Which one was the big grooooan?

Have a great weekend. See you next week.

Question for the Day:

Why do we call a double-vee a double-u?


Mason Canyon said...

Those were all so good. And that photo is priceless.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those were funny. I'll take all the groaners you want to throw at us. Really liked I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. I'll have to remember that one.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Love the smile on that baby.
When I handwrite a W, it looks like a double-u to me. :P

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I loved the last photo. Kids need dogs. Enjoyed the groaners.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I love pushing the envelope.

Mike Keyton said...

I loved the fruit fly and banana groaner. It has a distinctly Groucho feel to it 😀

Jemi Fraser said...

That photo is perfect!!
Love the cartoonist one best :)

LD Masterson said...

Mason - Thanks. I'm glad you liked them.

Alex - You asked for it.

Stacy - True. I guess it should be called a double-vee when printing and a double-u when writing.

Susan G/K - All kids need a dog. Absolutely.

Diane - Um...the pun or do you just like pushing the envelope? *grin*

Mike - Yeah, that was one of my favorites.

Jemi - Wait. Which photo?

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi LD - those were and are fun ... I loved the square root one ... while the crime book club one is amusing ... cheers and I'm a happy groaner - Hilary

Karen Lange said...

They're all good. Haven't heard any in a while so you made me smile. May share a few with my grandson (he'll be 9 next week).

May you and your family enjoy a great Thanksgiving week! :)

Robin said...

The rubber band is a weapon of math disruption. Hahaha.

Enjoyed all of these!

Maria Zannini said...

Hope your book club isn't that strict. :)

My favorite was the envelope. I really groaned on that one! said...

The baby's smile makes me smile.

Those puns are much more clever than my usual puns. I think my favorite is the math disruption.

Be well, LD.

mshatch said...

I like the envelope one :)

Dan Burden said...

Hilary - Thanks. Glad you liked them.

Karen - I became a fan of groaners when my kids used to bring them home. Then I moved on to telling them to my grandkids. And a very happy Thanksgiving week to you and yours.

Robin - Made you laugh. Makes my day.

Maria - Luckily not, since I hadn't finished this month's book in time for the meeting. And that was one of my favorites, too.

Robyn - Hey, two votes for math disruption! I'd love to say I made all these up but I just gathered them from sources far and wide. Thanks - you too.

Marcy - That's two votes for the envelope one. I'm glad you enjoyed them.

LD Masterson said...

Did anyone notice my last batch of answers were attributed to a gentleman named Dan? I'm having a problem with Google mixing up the three Google accounts I use. Mostly it's my LD Masterson (author) account and my Linda Leszczuk (personal) account. Now it's mixing in the account our church disaster recovery team uses for group e-mails (that would be Dan). I'm trying to get this sorted out but if you get a comment on your blog from Linda or Dan, it's just me - having an identity crisis.