Showing posts with label Aw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aw. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

New Stories, New Funnies, and Such

 Happy Hump Day

The disaster recovery work continues and I won't get those wedding pictures until the end of the week, so this week I give you a couple BSPs (blatant self promotions), a couple funnies, and a belated Father's Day aw.  

First, the BSPs... 

I had a couple short stories published last month that I missed mentioning in the chaos of weddings, tornadoes, and such.  The first was released at Malice Domestic, which sadly I was unable to attend. MYSTERY MOST EDIBLE is a fabulous collection of "36 original tales with a culinary bent", including my "Sticky Fingers" - a story of murder, revenge, and cupcakes.  You can find it here.




The second is THE BEST LAID PLANS, edited by Judy Penz Sheluk.  This collection of 21 stories has something for any fan of mystery and suspense and I'm delighted my story, "Deadly Dinner", is sharing these pages with so many talented writers. It's available here.
 
  



 Now your hump day funnies. They're all visual this week...




Well, they got it half right.  Sort of. 





 Um....yeah.



 The next one is for all you mystery/crime writers.


 Just move on. Nothing to see here. 



I'm a little late on a Father's Day "aw", But when I saw this picture, I couldn't resist.


Did you say it? 


That's it for today. I hope you found a chuckle or a smile to help you over the mid-week hump and sailing toward a fantastic weekend. Did you have a favorite? 

Have a great week. 


Thought for Today:

Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden. 

(Boy, ain't that the truth?)


Wednesday, June 19, 2019

The Big Wind...No, Not Me.

Happy Hump Day

I know I promised my next post would be about weddings and big winds, but the wonderful photographer who took pictures at our happy event left for a cruise a week later so I don't have those to share. Rather than subject you to fuzzy cell phone snapshots, I'm going to save the wedding news till next time.

Well...okay, one cell phone shot.

 
My grandson and his bride.

Now, on to big winds...

Late in the evening on Memorial Day, May 27, our local TV weather broke in on regular programming to announce a tornado warning. To be honest, this was a bit of a ho-hum event. We get warnings all the time, especially in the surrounding counties which are mostly flat farm country. But this wasn't for those counties. This was for us.

For those of you who've never dealt with tornadoes, daylight is better than night. You can see a funnel cloud coming during the day.  At night you pretty much have to trust the nice lady on the TV who's telling you to seek shelter NOW!  I'll admit I dragged my feet a little but when the most recent sighting put the tornado at the intersection where I do my grocery shopping and heading our way, I scooped up the dog and headed for the basement.

I hate riding out a storm in the basement, not knowing what's going on above. We sat there listening to the wind, rain, and hail pound the house, and to the latest radio updates via my cell phone. Finally, they sounded the all clear. The tornado that was heading for us had lifted back into the clouds. I gathered up Sophie and started to head upstairs when the alert sounded again. A second tornado had touched down and was following a path very close to the first. And so went the night.

When the National Weather Service finished their investigation a few days later, they confirmed 18 tornadoes hit our area that night, ranging from EF0 to EF4. The one that passed closest to us was an EF4.

As I mentioned in my mini-post last week, we were incredibly blessed. Our home sustained no damage.  Others were not so lucky. Many homes and businesses in several towns were destroyed or severely damaged.  Whole neighborhoods wiped out. Cars were tossed about and trees uprooted or broken off. Many people lost everything they had.

There are lots of pictures online of these storms if you care to Google them (Memorial Day tornadoes Dayton, OH). I find them too sad to post. I'd rather tell you about:

 The quirky...

We visited a lady from our church whose roof was perfectly intact, and sitting on top of her neighbor's house. The rest of the roofless house had only minor damage.

A car dealership that wasn't hit directly had the rear window of every vehicle blown out by the extreme change in air pressure (evidently the glass in rear windows is weaker than in the others). 

A local resturant had been impaled by numerous branches driven by the wind into the concrete wall like iron spikes.

And the heartwarming...

In addition to the hundreds of volunteers who came out to chain saw downed trees, clear away debris, and distribute water and food to victims and other volunteers, many people - and especially local churches - started donation drives and set up distribution points for clothing, personal care items, diapers and baby food, etc.

Some combed through the debris scattered in their neighborhood, looking for items of personal value (i.e. photo albums), then posted pictures and descriptions online hoping someone would know the owner and the items could be returned.

Many people took in pets who had been separated from their families and, again, shared pictures online so the families could be reunited.  Nothing made me happier than to see one of those posts updated with "Family found. Fluffy is home." 

It is said that disaster and tragedy brings our the best in people, and the worst. Sure, we had some that tried to profit off someone else's misery, but I'm happy to say the spirit of 'love and take of care your neighbor' is alive and well in and around Dayton, Ohio.

Sadly, one of the hardest hit neighborhoods was one where the residents were less likely to have  insurance or the financial means to recover what they've lost. Please continue to pray from them, for all those affected by the storms, and for all those who are working to help. Thanks.

And since it's hump day - though a little late in the day - here are a couple quick funnies.




 What do you think? Did he deserve it?



Every parent will relate to this one.



 But I'd still like to see her try.



 And here's your "aw"...


Now that's just flat out beautiful.



I'd like to say I'm going to be back on my regular schedule next week but there's still so much disaster work to be done, I can't promise. Have a great week. I'll try to visit when I can.


Quote for Today:

You can always give something, even if it's only kindness.  ~ Anne Frank


Wednesday, May 1, 2019

At Least Books Don't Go Dark

HAPPY HUMP DAY

You know why books are better than movies or TV?  Because in a book, when you finally get to the big battle you've been waiting for all the way through the story, the pages will not get dark and leave you wondering who got killed and who didn't.

Yes, I'm complaining about this week's Game of Thrones.

I could understand if GOT was filmed for release in theaters before coming to TV. Theaters are designed to handle low light images on screen. That's why it's dark in there. But GOT was filmed for television. That thing people watch in their homes...where light may seep in from other rooms or through windows not covered with blackout curtains.

It was really frustrating having to go online the next day to find out for certain who got killed.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan? What did you think of the latest episode?


I've got all visual funnies for you today. From the "you only had one job" department...



 Oops. A little off center there.




 Note the claim on the sign.


 
 What do you think? Alcohol or someone saw a spider on the road?





RIP, little buddy.


This last one is my favorite.


 Did they really not notice?



You may have noticed I'm trying not to do rely on puppies and kittens for all my "aw" pictures. There's just so many other beautiful faces out there.

What do you think of this one?


Wouldn't you like to know what he's thinking?
Was that an "aw" for you?


 That's all for today. Hope you found something here to get you over the mid-week hump and coasting to the weekend.

I also hope the next episode of Game of Thrones will be a bit brighter. (Not in tone, just visually. So we can see what's going on.)

See you next week.


Thought for Today:

I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up.

(This was printed on a coffee mug given to me by my co-workers in my previous office. I have no idea why.)  

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Doing Prom Right & Hump Day Funnies

HAPPY HUMP DAY

Cranky old ladies like myself often yearn for the good old days. We talk about how much better things were back then and how the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Teenagers are a favorite target. Lazy, disrespectful, and don't even get me started about those drooping britches...

Actually, I like today's teenagers. Through my grandkids, I've gotten to know a lot of them and they give me hope for the future. They've also figured out some things I think we had completely wrong. Case in point...High School Prom.

When I was in high school (back in the dark ages), if a girl didn't get asked to prom by a boy, she simply didn't go. Period. End of discussion. A boy could go stag, if he really wanted to; but it basically meant paying for a tux and a ticket to stand around the punch bowl while the couples danced.

It's different now. Sure, a lot of teens go to prom as couples. Boys ask girls. Sometimes girls ask boys. But they also go in non-coupled groups. Groups of girls, groups of boys, or all mixed together. And no one thinks anything of it. 

My granddaughter's prom was last weekend. She opted to go with a group of girls. And they were geared up to have a great time. (Which I heard later, they really did.)


 I think these kids are on to something.  How about you?

Short hump day funnies: 

A guy broke into my apartment last week.  He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick son of a...  

Don't wear headphones while vacuuming. I just finished the whole house and realized the vacuum wasn't plugged in.

Not so short hump day funny:

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. 

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job. 

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. 

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:  

"Oh God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke:

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"



I'm sorry. It just made me laugh.  Okay, let's cut to your"aw".  



Can your resist this face? 


I couldn't either.


That's it for today.Hope these funnies got you over the mid-week hump and heading for the weekend. See you next week. (Please, don't forget to say hi.)



Question for Today:

Why are people my age so much older than I am?


Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Food for Thought (And a Little Silliness, Too)

HAPPY HUMP DAY

First of all, the answer to the question I know has been keeping you up nights this past week...

The chocolates arrived intact and the Marine is a happy camper! 
(I should have made him send me a selfie of him enjoying one. LOL)



Today, I'm just offering miscellaneous silliness and food for thought.

Food for thought - Part 1

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

If poison expires is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?


PSA: Our church held its bi-monthly blood drive today.  I've been a regular donor for several decades, and I'm delighted that my 17 year old granddaughter and my granddaughter-to-be (the Marine's fiance) have become regular donors, as well. So few young people consider donating blood. Did you know only 37% of all Americans are eligible to donate blood, and less than 10% do?

Are you a blood donor?


Food for thought - Part 2

Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.




Have I mentioned I'm a big tea drinker? 
Seriously. I've never been able to develop a taste for coffee.
But I'm not sure I've had this particular brand. 

Food for thought - Part 3 

Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, and scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.


Okay, you've earned your "aw".
How about this one?


No, not the cute little girl or the kitten.
It's that poor heartbroken dog.
Don't you think he deserves an "aw"?


Okay, that's all for today. I hope you're sailing through this week and heading for a great weekend.

Do you have any little morsels of thought for me? 

Quote for Today:

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~ Winston Churchill

 

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Mystery Most...Chocolate?

HAPPY HUMP DAY

I have a happy to share! I'm delighted to be sharing these pages with so many wonderful authors.


Malice Domestic 14: Mystery Most Edible will be published in May by Wildside Press.

My story, "Sticky Fingers" is a tale of murder, revenge, and...cupcakes!

Yummy.


Speaking of yummy (yes, this is a terrible segue)... You all know I have a grandson serving in the Marine Corps, and being the wonderful Nana that I am, I like to send him care packages. A pretty simple thing, right?

Well, sometimes. A couple weeks ago I started putting together a package. I had all the usual - jerky, peanut butter crackers, microwave mac & cheese, etc. - but I wanted to toss in something special. When he was home at Christmas, he discovered these special chocolate candies he thought were wonderful, so a couple Sunday's ago, I stopped by the fancy chocolate store and bought a half pound. As I was checking out, I mentioned I was mailing them. The clerk expressed concern, telling me their chocolate contained no preservatives and needed to be kept refrigerated.

I spent the better part of the next week trying to decide how to send his care package, which I knew from experience could take anywhere from three to seven days to arrive. I thought of adding a freezer cold pack, wrapped with the chocolates, but finally settled on sending the package - without the chocolate - regular priority mail as I usually did, and then sending the chocolates overnight express.

So I mailed the bulk of his package on Friday and held the chocolates for Monday (his Post Office is closed on the weekend). Then I decided it was a bit of a waste to send just a half pound of chocolates by themselves, so on Sunday I stopped by the chocolate shop again and bought an additional pound.

Just to be certain, I asked the clerk - a different person this time - if the chocolates would be okay being mailed overnight express with a freezer pack to keep them cold. She informed me that, while it's true the chocolates did not contain preservatives, they would be fine unrefrigerated for a week, possibly longer.

But which clerk was correct?

I debated what to do next. Freezer pack? Overnight express? Both? I finally decided to send them overnight express but without the freezer pack since those frozen bricks are quite heavy. After all, how much could a pound and a half of chocolates cost to mail? I wrapped them up and headed to the Post Office on Monday morning.

Would you believe $45.00? For a pound and a half of chocolates? I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend over twice what the chocolates cost just on postage. I said the heck with it and sent them regular priority mail. Maybe I'd get lucky.

Later that day I checked the USPS tracking on the package I'd mailed the previous Friday. It had already been delivered.  Fastest time ever!  Now I'm tracking the chocolates.

They appear to be traveling by sloth.

Guess who is NOT getting a chocolate bunny for Easter.



I've been a little wordy so here's a visual funny.

Oh yeah. Piece of cake.


And, of course, your weekly "aw"...


I know you said it.



How about you? Ever struggled to get something mailed or shipped? Got a good horror story you can share?

See you next Wednesday.

Thought for the Day:

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.