More on Fish Out of Water and Your (late!) Hump Day Funnies

I'm late. I'm late. For a very important...hump day!.

I'm sorry. There's so much going on this month, I let time get away from me.

To make up for it, here's a quick funny. 

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell ."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What? You're coming empty handed?" 

Now a word from our sponsor. Or at least a little blatant self promotion.

Fish Out of Water, the fourth Anthology from the Guppy Chapter of Sisters in Crime, contains twenty-two stories of mystery and suspense, all dealing with someone moving out of their element.

In my story, "Of Roosters and Men", city girl Ella has returned to the family farm to settle her father's estate. It should be a simple thing but she hasn't counted on battling her farm-loving sister Cassie, her own mixed memories, and a nasty tempered Rhode Island Red named Duncan...

"The morning was one long reminder of why I belonged in the city. The July air was hot and sticky, and thick dust clung to my legs as I walked. The stupid goats were uncooperative and ungrateful. One young buck slammed me against the side of his pen and stomped on my foot. I preferred feeding the chickens…or would have, except for Duncan. 

He strutted around the yard, showing off for his ladies. A young Rhode Island Red, very handsome and downright mean. Before I left home, we’d had old George. He was a pussycat. But this guy was all bad attitude with razor sharp spurs."


Fish Out of Water is available now from Wideside Press and will be available soon on other popular online sites.  For more information about Fish Out of Water, check out our Facebook page.

Now back to your funnies.

Anyone have a cat?

Do these rules work at your house?

 Oh, come on. You know they're true.

Here's a spiritual funny for you.

In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.

Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

" Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."

She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said...

" DON'T SELL THAT COW."

You saw it coming, didn't you?

Okay, time for your weekly "aw".

You liked the loving giraffes last week.

How about a little "mama and her cub" love?

 

Yeah, it did it for me.

That's all for this week. Again, I'm sorry for being late but look at it this way...you're that much closer to the weekend.

Did the funnies help?  Did you have a favorite?

See you next week.

Deep Thought for Today:

Man who runs in front of car gets tired,
man who runs behind car gets exhausted.