All Hump Day Funnies (No Commercials.)

 Happy Hump Day

And since I really owe you some funnies with no self-promotion attached - today is an All-Funnies Post. So let's dive right in.

You know the media has taken a lot of hits lately with suggestions of "fake news" and such, but I find my local newspaper very informative.

There's national news...

 local news....

money saving coupons...

 and occasionally a really useful ad in the classified section.

Well, let's be honest here. I usually just read the comics.

Has anyone been in the hospital lately? If you have, you'll understand this next one.

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital and timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" "Norma Findlay, Room 302." "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone. "I have good news.Her nurse said Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her latest blood work is normal, and her doctor has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday." The grandmother said, "Oh, that's wonderful!  I was so worried!  Thank you. God bless you for the good news." "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me sh*t."  Go Granny. Okay, one more... A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. What was that for?" the man asked. "That was for the piece of paper I found in your pocket with the name 'Jenny' written on it." "Dammit, woman. You're always jumping to conclusions. When I went to the track last week, Jenny was the name of a horse I bet on." His wife was immediately sorry, and offered to make him his favorite dinner. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out of the chair. As he got up, he asked her, "Now what was that for?" His wife replied, "Your horse phoned."   Did you see that one coming? Okay, time for your "aw"... We've done some bigger animals the last couple weeks but I'm still a sucker for dogs and babies.   You, too? Okay, did that do it? Are we over the hump? Oh well, we'll get there. I hope you found a giggle or a chuckle or even a good old guffaw to get you over the mid-week hump. May the rest of your week be great and your weekend fantastic.  See you next time. Thought for Today:  A smart person knows what to say. A wise person knows whether or not to say it.