Guilty Dogs and Hospital Confusions

Happy Hump Day

Sorry I'm a little late posting this morning. It was one of those days where I just couldn't get out of bed.

You know the feeling.

And then I had to deal with this.

Personally, I don't believe them.

Then I got downstairs and found this!

Seriously?!?

Okay, I have to be honest. I didn't face any of that this morning. 

Well, maybe the getting out of bed part, not the other. My Sophie is very well behaved.

No more excuses. Let's get to your hump day funnies.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the church bloopers last week so I'm staying with that theme. But church ladies aren't the only ones who can give us a laugh. Today we have... 

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS 

Actual writings from hospital charts 

(Parenthetical thoughts are mine.) 

1 . The patient refused autopsy.  (Wouldn't you?)

2. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.  (Could be a problem.)  

3. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.  (For pete's sake, someone roll her over.)

4. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.  (Check under her legging.)

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.  (Ya think?)

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.  (How's that again?)

7. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.  (Well, I'm glad we've got that timeline straight.)

8. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (OMG!)

9. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.  (Huh?)

10. Skin: somewhat pale but present.  (Could be very messy otherwise.)

11. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.  (Couldn't we use a table? Bed? Something?)

Gives you second thoughts about going to the hospital, doesn't it?

Now you need a good aw.

I admit I may have used this one before but I came across it again and it always gets me.

 Poor guy. Don't you want to give him a treat?

 Okay, that's it. Did we get there? Are you over the mid week hump?

Excellent!

Did you have a favorite?

Have a fantastic week. See you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

It really is that cold here.

Star Struck?

Happy Hump Day

Every so often I come across a funny that's so good, it's worth a post of its own. 

This is one of those.

Enjoy.

Paul Newman

Women of a certain era will fully appreciate this true story.

(If you don't understand this, tell your mother, she'll get it!)

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.

One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.

She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.

There was only one other patron in the store:

Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.

The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes.

The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely.

Pull yourself together, she chided herself. You're a happily married woman with three children. You're forty-five years old, not a teenager!

The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other.

Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.

When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty.

Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store?

Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something!

No ice cream cone was in sight.

With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.

His face broke into his familiar, warm, friendly grin and he said to the woman,

"You put it in your purse."

* * * *

If you're too young to have ever fallen under the spell of those blue eyes, I'm really sorry for you. You've missed out on something special. 

*sigh*

And although I think Paul is worth plently of sighs, I wouldn't think of forgetting your "aw".

How about this one?

Okay, did that get you over the mid-week hump?

Answer to yesterday's trivia question:

Question: In what country was Britain's Queen Elizabeth II when she became Queen in 1952?

Answer: Kenya   Elizabeth II actually ascended some time in the night of February 5th/6th 1952, officially early hours of February 6, when staying overnight at the Treetops Hotel, Aberdare National Park, near Nyeri town, close to Mount Kenya. She was told of her father King George VI's death a few hours later after arriving at Sagana Lodge, the royal residence at Kiganjo, in the Mount Kenya foothills. Elizabeth II was the first British monarch since the William IV [reigned 1830-37] to be outside the UK on succession, and first in modern times whose exact time of accession is unknown because George VI died asleep at an uncertain time.

Medical Bloopers for Today:

Skin: somewhat pale but present.   (well, thank goodness for that)

The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.    (do they charge extra for the table?)

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.    (no comment)