Back From Vacation or A Soggy Blog

Happy Hump Day

I hope everyone got through last week without your hump day funnies to help you along. 

Hubby and I were in Puerto Rico with my eldest and his family, enjoying the kids' spring break.  It was the perfect getaway from the end of a long cold winter.

We spent time on the ocean.

 

And in the ocean.

And even in a pool that overlooked the ocean.

(We're at the edge of the pool. The darker blue behind is the ocean below us.)

Alas, all great things must come to an end, and that includes vacations. 

So here we are, back to the daily grind and needing a little something to get us over the midweek hump.

Hey, do you know the difference between friendship among men and friendship among women?

Friendship among Women:   A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.  The man called his wife's 10 best friends.  None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:  A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.  The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.  Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Nah, I don't think that's true. Do you?

In keeping with my earlier pool picture, I think these guys have the right idea.

How about a couple kid jokes?

 Here's one.

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued  and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. 

After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.”   

We took a ton of pictures while we were gone (aren't you glad I'm not making you look at them all). Sometimes I think the kids started to feel like this.

Hey, it's hard to keep holding that smile.

Here's kid joke two.

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.

 

“No, no, no!” she screamed.

 

“Lizzie,” scolded by her mother, "that's not polite behavior.”

 

With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!"   

 Well...it's polite. 

I wanted to try to stay with the vacation theme for all of today's pictures and I even found one for your "aw".

Naturally, on vacation, a guy wants to kick back and put his feet up.

I think he's got it.

Are we there? Over the hump? I hope so.

(My midweek is a little off because we just got back so today feels like Monday to me.)

I'm still working my way through the 583 e-mails that arrived while I was gone so forgive me if it takes me a couple days to visit everyone.

Have a great week/weekend. See you here next Wednesday.

Question for Today:

A Mouse in Orlando and a Skunk at Home

I had an interesting evening last night. Sophie was very agitated and wanted to go outside.  I let her out and she went tearing around the yard trying to find something.  I stepped onto the deck and got an unmistakable whiff.  Good Lord, a skunk. 

Had it just passed through and left a little something behind?  Or was my crazy dog about to get sprayed.

I quickly rounded up the crazed canine and brought her inside.  But it was near bedtime and she needed to...well, you know.  So I got her leash and we headed out the front door for a nice walk.  In the dark.  And then I listened to her whine and fuss at the back door half the night. 

(I really think he was out there.)   

But hey, better than a close encounter of the stinky kind.

Enough of that.  As you know, I'm just back from a family vacation at Disney World and tradition demands I bore you with a couple pictures.  Just a couple, I promise.

These are the very cool, ridiculously overpriced rain ponchos we bought after getting drenched by a sudden downpour on our second day.  Naturally, as soon as we put them on, it stopped raining.

It made us feel a little Goofy.

This was a new ride I wanted to try out.  Unfortunately there was an unreasonable weight limit.

The kids got to make candy at the candy story.

So did I.

Okay, got to have one group shot.  Here's the whole clan. 

If you're looking for a picture of Mickey, we never ran into him. 

But I didn't run into that skunk last night either so I'm good.

Groaner of the Day:  Two guys have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're in a bad way. As they stumble on, hoping for an oasis or something similar, they suddenly see, in the distance, a small tree.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!

"Look, Pepe," says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says Pepe, "We're saved!"

Pepe doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree, salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets there, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! What happened?"

And with his dying breath Pepe calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all...

...its a ham bush!"


(I know, vacation pictures and a groaner that bad in the same post.  I'm ashamed. I truly am.)

hee hee hee