Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Little Theology, a Little History, a Few Laughs - Yup It's Hump Day

Happy Hump Day

I'm a little late today so let's jump right in.

First, a theology lesson.

Yeah, he'd know that one.

Here's one for our favorite seniors.

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing
through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.

"You appear quite elderly to be driving," he said, concerned

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore."
"You don't need a driver's license anymore?!?"

"That's right! The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license.  I told him I did and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore'.

So I thanked him and left!"
I think she was driving in front of me yesterday.
Do you know what a "Knocker Upper" is?

Well, before alarm clocks, there were "knocker uppers."
Mary Smith earned a sixpence a piece for shooting dried peas at sleeping workers windows in London.
And we all know what you were thinking. 
(Shame on you.)
This is a good one for writers.
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get six.

A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy six cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

Okay, ready for your "aw"? 
This one's a little different but I think we need to remember that adorable isn't limited to dogs and cats.

Aren't these guys worth a good "aw"?

That's it.  Did we get there? Did you find something in today's post to get you over the mid-week hump and on the downhill slide to the weekend?

Great. My work here is done.

Thought for today:

Sometimes I just sit around and think how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.


Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I like the one about the driver. I've seen that lady driving around here.
And it definitely sounds like my husband shopping.

Crystal Collier said...

LOL! "I don't need one anymore." Wow. That was awesome. And I love that kitten. I'm a sucker for kittens.

Thanks for the laugh!

Heather Holden said...

That cat picture cracked me up an insane amount. Love it!

Pk Hrezo said...

Oh LD, I needed that good belly chuckle. That is so me with the avocados. Writer's brain syndrome. lol

Tyrean Martinson said...

Six cartons of milk!!! LOL. Thank you. I want to share that one with my writing students.

LD Masterson said...

Susan G/K - Yup, mine, too.

Crystal - You're very welcome.

Heather - As opposed to just a mildly unbalanced amount? *grin*

Pk - We all have it.

Tyrean - Please do.

Stacy McKitrick said...

The milk one was my favorite, too! Thanks for the laughs! :)

Kaye George said...

One question: do you ever plan on publishing your blogs? I think that would be a super idea.

Michael Pierce said...

I probably would have gotten 6 avocados and forgotten the milk. That was hilarious; I had to read it to my wife because she wanted to know what I was laughing at. Over the hump. Job well done.

LD Masterson said...

Stacy - My pleasure, as always.

Kaye - No plans along that line but I'm glad you're enjoying them.

Michael - Thank you.

Scribbles From Jenn said...

Those were great! I just read some sad news and they were just what I needed. Thank you!

LD Masterson said...

Jenn - I'm sorry for you sad news, glad I was able to lift your spirits a little.

Everyone - What? Not a single "aw" for the little elephants?

Julie Luek said...

Ha-- love the cat pic. How do people get those posed?!

Mike Keyton said...

Cat pic - brilliant. Do you mind if I facebook it? Ref the driver anecdote, Monmouth is full of them :) said...

Yes, they are worth several good aws.
I love the first cat photo, too. It's worth a hearty LOL.

Be well, LD.

LD Masterson said...

Julie - I'm never sure if they do, or if it's Photoshop. Either way - hysterical.

Mike - Please do. That's where I got it. *grin*

Robyn - Aw, the elephants thank you.

Emilyann Girdner said...

Bahaha! Your posts make my day =)

The cat and avocados are my favorites today.

mshatch said...

Those were all funny and those baby elephants were adorable!

Rhonda Albom said...

This is fantastic. Love the cat joke, but my favorite was the drivers license joke. :) Thanks for the laughs.

Lexa Cain said...

Those two baby elephants are SO CUTE!! Yes, my mind did go straight into the gutter about the "knocker-upper." And if my hubby didn't call me 3-4 times from the market to ask me questions, I'd get 6 cartons of milk regularly...
Great post! Thanks! ;-)

Liz Fichera said...

That cat pic?? Love it. And I'm going to tell that avocado story to my husband, as he will no doubt appreciate it. I think we've lived that one. :)

Mark Means said...

Haha, o.k, I'll admit...I -was- thinking that about the knocker-upper :P

Hey, I'm a product of my environment!! :D

have a great weekend!

Julie Flanders said...

The first pic made me laugh out loud. Why is it that all cats immediately know that answer???

LOVE the elephants! <3

Arlee Bird said...

The milk shopper joke made me roar.

I don't think a pea hitting our bedroom window would wake up my wife. Getting awakened by a pea makes me think of something entirely different. I get wakened several times a night.

Tossing It Out

LD Masterson said...

Emilyann - Always happy to make someone's day.

mshatch - Did they get an "aw"?

Rhonda - My pleasure.

Lexa - Think what husbands brought home from the market before there were cell phones.

Liz - I think most of us have lived some variation of that one.

Mark - Okay, now we know something about your environment. *grin*

Julie - Cats know everything. Just ask one.

Lee - Oh dear, should I admit I have the same problem?