Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happy Hump Day - Kids Quotes and Random Funnies

Happy Hump Day


Hi. Are you looking for some funnies to get you over the mid week hump. Well let's see what we have today.

I'm still on a bit of a kid roll so most of today's jokes are out of the mouths of babes. The pictures are just random funnies I saw this week.

Let's start with a frustrated first grader.

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"

Speaking of talking...


This one strikes a memory for me.

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says a prayer for you each night? That's very commendable.What does she say?"
 
The  little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

Anyone relate?


I think all dog parents understand this one.




 Now there is a certain logic to this one.

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We  have been learning how powerful kings and queens  were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child  blurted out, "Aces!"

 I think someone's been playing a little Texas Hold 'Em


Kids are really big on logic if you think about it.

This child was answering questions about the ocean. 

"Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers."

 Well, yeah.


This picture doesn't go with anything but it cracked me up.
 

Check out that dog's expression.

Last one.

A doctor was taking her four-year-old to preschool. The doctor's stethoscope was on the car seat and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 
 
"Be still, my heart," thought the physician, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!"
 
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

Ready for your "aw"?

How about this pair?



Can you feel the love?


That's it for today. Are you there? Over the hump and sliding down that slippery slope to the weekend?

Perfect.

Before I go, I've got to give a shout out to blog buddy DL Hammons and the



Here's a chance to share again your favorite post from earlier in the year, or maybe one that didn't get the exposure it deserved fist time around. Get all the details and sign up here
 
Have a great week. See you next Wednesday.
 
Thought for Today:
 
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.

26 comments:

Michael Di Gesu said...

Whoa...

The first commenter.... Squeeeeee...

As usual a good laugh after a LONG day....

Thanks LD, and the AWWWW moment is just so damn cute!

Scribbles From Jenn said...

Oh my gosh! Those were so funny. As a teacher I loved the school one, but as a dog owner, I laughed out loud at the Old Yeller one. I loved the dog's face!

Rhonda Albom said...

One laugh after the next, no favorite for me tonight. However the Aces one reminded me of my cousin. We tried out for family feud many years ago. The question, name a title of royalty other than king and queen and he said, "jack" - we didn't get on the show.

Maria Zannini said...

I can't remember a time when I've had the bathroom to myself. If it's not one dog, it's another trying to sneak in before I shut the door.

Re: doctor and kid joke
That one hits you where it hurts. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That expression is priceless. And yes, dogs do freak out when they can't find you for five minutes.

Jemi Fraser said...

Love the Awww moment!! And the stethoscope one is great :) Have a great day!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Love the McDonald's one!

Lexa Cain said...

These are hilarious! The kangaroo had me rolling! How do you manage to find such good ones every week? Thanks so much for the smiles and laughs - they're priceless. :-D

Crystal Collier said...

Love them all! That one with the dog nosing its way into the bathroom, that's how I feel every time I shut the door, but with the little hand reached through the gap below. Why is privacy so hard to get? =)

Unleashing the Dreamworld

Carol Kilgore said...

Love everything here, especially the aw moment.

LD Masterson said...

Michael - Yay! You were here seriously early this morning (or late last night). Glad I could give you a laugh.

Jenn - Yup, the Old Yeller one did me in.

Rhonda - Aw, I think that was a good answer.

Maria - I've given up even shutting the door. (When I'm home alone, of course.)

Alex - If I hear Sophie hunting for me, I always call out. Otherwise, she's a wreck.

Jemi - You, too. Thanks.

Diane - That poor mom.

Lexa - Thank you! Some weeks I'm concerned I didn't find any really good ones. So glad you don't think so.

Crystal - Nope. If you have kids or dogs, you don't get any privacy.

Carol - Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.


Heather Holden said...

Today's "aw" is so incredibly precious!

And LOL, having grown up with dogs all my life, I can definitely relate to that pic of one who'd been alone for five minutes...

farawayeyes said...

I love these posts. I don't know what keeps me away for so long---must be that bad memory thing.

I want to say, I felt bad for that poor dog having to see the end of 'Ole Yeller'. That's one that can still make me cry.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha that golden lab's expression is priceless. :-D

Robin said...

Those were all cute. I love the things kids say. So often, you don't even need to make it up. It's TRUE. hahahaha.

Love the dog's face. Priceless!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Another terrific batch! Anyone with kids, grandkids, or pets can relate to the dog poking his nose in the door. Privacy? What's that...?

I can relate to the one about kings, queens, and aces. I learned to play poker before I started school, so yeah, that was me...

LD Masterson said...

Heather - Yup, we dog people understand.

farawayeyes - Always nice to have you stop by. I've never gotten through Old Yeller (book or movie) without bawling.

Misha - Glad you liked it.

Robin - With kids, non-fiction is usually funnier.

Susan F.S. - Ah, we'll have to get together and play a few hands.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm in a coffee shop and laughed aloud at the Old Yeller one. The barristas are laughing quietly at me, I believe.
Have a great weekend, LD.

LD Masterson said...

Robyn - Show them the picture. Let them laugh with you.

Nicki Elson said...

These shall serve to get me over the beginning-of-the-week hump. Thanks. That dog's eyes especially cracked me up!

LD Masterson said...

Nicki - Happy Monday. Glad to help you start your week off with a laugh.

Julie Flanders said...

I think I looked just like Buddy when I saw the end of Old Yeller. Still traumatized by it LOL.

Arlee Bird said...

Lots of laughs in this post. The weeks are going by too fast for me.

And I have a clear conscience. A very clear one.

Lee
Tossing It Out

Tara Tyler R said...

just what i needed - a little laughter and a little awww

i shared the sunday school aces with my mom =)

happy camel day!

Crystal Collier said...

Oh man! I was hoping there'd be new funnies today. I hope everything is going well.

Unleashing the Dreamworld

LD Masterson said...

Come back, Crystal, come back. Your new funnies are here!