Hump Day Funnies -It's Kid's Stuff

Happy Hump Day

It's a young at heart hump day. Well, actually, just plain young. I've got all kid related funnies for you today. 

This joke came to me in an email with the subject line: Why Parents Drink.

The boss wondered why one of his employees was absent but had not phoned in sick, so he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper:

  

"Hello?"

 

"Is your daddy home?"

A small voice whispered...

"Yes, he's out in the garden."'

 

"May I talk with him?"  

"No."

 

"Well, is your Mommy there?"

 

"Yes, she's out in the garden too."

 

"May I talk with her?" 

"No."

 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

  

"Yes, a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" 

 

"No, he's  talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog man."

 

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

 

"The search team just landed a helicopter."

 

"A search team? What are they searching for?"

 

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle.... 

 

"ME!"

 

 

Yup, that would be one reason . 

I lost my youngest one time when he was a toddler. Had the neighbors out helping me search before I found him sleeping under a piled up blanket in the dog's bed. (True story.)

In honor of all this year's new and returning zombie TV shows:

 

 

Since that first joke was a bit long, here are a couple quickies.

FROM A MOM: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock my 5-year-old shouted from the back seat: "Mom, that lady isn't wearing her seat belt!"

FROM A POLICE OFFICER: It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner Jake started barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I  replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

 

FROM ANOTHER MOM:  While  working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly  shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of dentures soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this."

 

 

Of course, sometimes in our kids we see a shadow of things to come.

 

I think I know his father.

Here's a little memory for the young at heart (other body parts may be a bit older).

Come on, admit it.

Okay, time for your weekly "aw".

I had a lot of great pictures of kids sleeping with/on/under their pets but I liked this one. 

Reading a good book to a friend. What could be better?

 

Do you agree?

That's it for this week. Hope we got you over the mid-week hump and coasting toward a fabulous weekend.

Yes? Great!

Did you  have a favorite?

See you next week.

Dilemma of the Day: 

 I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.