Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A New Anthology and Some Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day.

It's been an exciting spring for me with the recent release of two anthologies containing stories of mine, Still Me After All These Years and Fish Out of Water - A Guppy Anthology, and two more on the way. Plus, this weekend I received word that another story has been accepted for an anthology scheduled for release in the fall. I seem to be on a roll.
(Major happy dance going on over here.)

Coming up next is Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat, which will include my short mystery "Annie Get Your Goat." Busted! is being released by Level Best Books on April 25, 2017. Again, I'm in great company. Check out this list of terrific authors and stories:

  • “Justice Due” by Jack Bates
  • “Thicker than Water” by Micki Browning
  • “No Mulligans” by Leone Ciporin
  • “Bygones” by Bruce Robert Coffin
  • “Last Call for Buffalo” by Randall DeWitt
  • “Fall in New Hampshire” by Sharon Daynard
  • “Most Evil” by Peter DiChellis
  • “Bad Friday” by Martin Edwards
  • “Deadly Discovery in Dallas” by Sanford Emerson
  • “The Woman in White” by Tracy Falenwolfe
  • “Ida Mae Buys a Crown Vic” by Kate Flora
  • “Get Along Little Dogie” by CC Guthrie
  • “The Letters of Patrick Bushell” by Gavin Keenan
  • “Afternoon Delight” by Steve Liskow
  • “The Program” by Cyndy Edwards Lively
  • “Becky’s File” by Ruth McCarty
  • “The Drive By” by Alison McMahan
  • “Annie Get Your Goat” by LD Masterson
  • “Chains” by Claire Murray
  • “Christmas Shift” by Dale Phillips
  • “Truth, Grace and Lies” by Adele Polomski
  • “The Cattle Raid of Adams” by Keenan Powell
  • “Goldie” by KM Rockwood
  • “The Owl and the Pussycats” by Verena Rose
  • “The Runner” by Steve Roy
  • “No Safe Place” by Harriette Sackler
  • “The Man Who Wasn’t Missing” by Brenda Seabrooke
  • “Play Dead” by Shawn Reilly Simmons
  • “Sensitivity Training” by Albert Tucher
  • “Pet Peeve” by Kari Wainwright
  • “Burning Bright” by Vicki Weisfeld

 I can't wait to read this one. 

But it's hump day and I know what you're here for so... 
here's a hump day funny for you.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. 

He got an A.

Well, what grade would you have given him?

Remember those crazy newspaper clippings
from last week?
How about a desk calendar?

 Ya think?

 Here's an interesting item.

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

 I'll admit it. That one cracked me up.

Okay, I have a challenge for you.
Look at this week's "aw" picture,
and try not to say "aw".

 Betcha couldn't do it.

That's it for today. Are you there? Over the midweek hump and sailing toward the weekend?
Good! Then my work here is done. Did you have a favorite?

Have a fabulous week/weekend. See you next Wednesday.

Common Sense Tip of the Day:

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


Murees Dupé said...

Aw, just look at those little pink feet.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You are on a roll! Congrats. Keep submitting short stories.

The 40 ft hole is funny. Plus you get a big aw from me for that adorable kitten.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Wow. What a great run you're having. Congrats!

Stacy McKitrick said...

"A 40-foot hole"... Haha! Congrats on all the short story pubs.

Laurel Garver said...

Congrats on the new anthology publication! Way to go!

Your funnies are the best. The milk test answer has to be my favorite though. Where the cat can't get it!! LOL.

Mike Keyton said...

Many congratulations, Linda. And thank you for the crem joke -- situated no doubt in the dead centre of town

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Congratulations! It's awesome that you're gonna be in so many anthologies. I'm really happy for you.

My hubby and I are gonna be cremated, too, but I think I'll pass on eating the gunpowder. Maybe someone would fill my pockets with popcorn kernels, though...

Maria Zannini said...

That biology test sounds like something Greg would've written. Oy.

LD Masterson said...

Murees - I know, aren't they adorable.

Diane - Thanks. The 40 ft hole did me in.

Donna - Thanks. It's fun to hit a streak.

Stacy - Thanks.

Laurel - THanks. I love sharing laughs.

Mike - Oh, no doubt.

Susan F.S. - I love the popcorn idea.

Maria - Yup. Sounds like him. said...

I want to hold that precious white fur ball.

Be well and Happy Easter, LD.

LD Masterson said...

Thanks, Robyn. You, too.

Lexa Cain said...

Huge congrats on the new accepted story! That anthology has a long list of authors and stories! Loved the funnies and the "Aw" is so adorable!! I want her!!

LD Masterson said...

Thanks, Lexa. You know, I'm not even a cat person and I want her.

Heather R. Holden said...

Wow, that's a lot of anthologies. Many congrats!

And I definitely let out an "aw" for that kitty picture. So precious!

harada57 said...
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