Kitty Kat Kaption Kontest

Happy Hump Day

And a very Happy Fourth of July!

This is probably a day off for many of you so it's not a hump day at all, but I've got these great cat pictures just begging for captions so I've decided to do a caption contest.

You know the rules.  Leave me caption for one or more of the five pictures below and you'll be entered in a drawing to win a book from a list of titles.  One chance for each caption.   

U.S. and Canada blogging friends only please.

Okay, lets see those captons!

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Weren't those great pictures?  I received them in an e-mail so I'm afraid I can't credit the source.

No, I didn't forget your "awwww".

Here it is.

Come on.  You know you said it.

Since we are busy celebrating today, I'll keep the the contest open until Monday night (July 9) and announce the winner next Wednesday.

Have a great Fourth!

Church Bulletin Bloopers: (gotta love the church ladies)

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

And the answer to Monday's trivia question - as several of you guessed...

All were dyslexic.

Caption Contest

Wednesday: Happy Hump Day!

I am so glad it's Wednesday.  Last Friday's post was troubling and Monday's was somber (befitting the occasion).  But today it's time for some fun.  And to celebrate, we're having a...

Hump Day Caption Contest

I haven't done one of these for awhile so let's go over the rules.  Below are five funny pictures.  Give me your best caption for one or more of them.  For each caption you leave in your comment, I'll add your name to the drawing: five captions = five chances to win.   

The winner gets a free book selected from a list (assorted genres) I will e-mail to him/her after the drawing. U.S. and Canadian entries only, please. I can't afford the postage for my friends across the pond (any of the ponds). And make sure to leave your e-mail address.

Ready?  Let see those captions.

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(Please ignor the caption already on this on. I know you can do better.)

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5. 

Lord, that last one cracks me up.

Okay, did you come up with some good ones?  I love to do this because your captions are the best part of the post.  Hope you enjoy it, too.

You have until midnight on Saturday, June 2, to enter your comments.

Groaner of the Day:  One day, a man decided to learn some new sports. He spent time finding out what was available and after a few months, he called some of his friends to watch him try out some of his ideas.

They all followed him up to the top of a local cliff. Not a big cliff, but still they were puzzled about why he had taken them there.

"Let me show you," he said, and produced from a cage a small yellow bird. He held the bird by the feet, and proceeded to jump off the cliff. 

His friends were obviously worried, but he was fine, albeit slightly bruised, and returned to the top of the cliff.

"Well, " he said, after a pause, "I don't think much of this budgie-jumping."

So, then he revealed that he had also brought a chicken with him. His friends were forced to watch an almost identical sequence of events all over again.

Once again, he hit the sand at the bottom of the cliff, trudged back to the top, and said to his by now growing audience, "Hen-gliding doesn't seem to work for me either."

Finally, he tried once more. This time, it was a parrot. Again, he leapt off the cliff holding the unfortunate bird by the feet. This time though, as he jumped, he pulled out a hand gun, and shot the bird as he fell.

The end results were pretty much the same, though, and he arrived at the top of the cliff with yet more bruises.

The crowd waited to hear what he would say this time.

He paused, scratched his head, and opened his mouth.

The crowd hushed....

Finally, he said: "And that's the last time I try parrot-shooting too."

(Hey, what are complaining about?  That was three groans for the price of one.)

Happy Hump Day Caption Contest

Happy Hump Day.  It's time for another Hump Day Caption Contest.  You know how it works - give me a caption for one or more of the five pictures below and your name goes into the hat (one time for each caption) for a drawing to win a free book.  The winner gets to chose from a list of titles. 

We've had some great captions in past contests. Let's see if we can top them.

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Ready, set, go!

And don't forget to leave me your e-mail address so I can contact the winner.

Groaner of the Day: This piece of string walks into a bar. Before he gets halfway to the bar, the bartender calls out "Hey! String! We don't serve your sort in here."

Not to be deterred, the string tries to order a drink, but when the bartender pulls a pair of scissors out from behind the bar, the piece of string decides to leave, running for the door.

Hours later, the piece of string is still frustrated at not being able to get a drink anywhere. He's all twisted up and his ends are coming loose from being thrown out of so many bars.

Before going into the last bar, the piece of string ruffles his ends up even more and contorts himself even more.

As he goes into the last bar, the bartender calls out "Hey! You!" Looking carefully, he asks "Are you a piece of string?"

Feigning ignorance, the piece of string says "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Happy Hump Day Mystery

Happy Hump Day.  And we have a winner for last week's Caption Contest.  Congratulations to Isis Rushdan.  Isis gave us five great captions which gave her five chances to win. 

Today's post is a little goodie I received in an e-mail.  It came with a couple links to verify it's authenticity but, to be honest, I didn't check it out.  One reason is I've caught a nasty bug and I'm so loopy on cold meds, I could barely find my way to my own site.  The other is I don't care. If this is pure fiction, it's still worth reading just to admire the convoluted mind that came up with it.

So without further ado - The Strange Case of Ronald Opus


On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.

Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a 10-story building intending to commit suicide.  He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. 

As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife.  They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun.

The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B.'

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that they thought the shotgun was not loaded.  The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun.  He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded. 

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about 6 weeks prior to the fatal accident. 

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. 

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now for the exquisite twist...

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. 

He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder.  This led him to jump off the 10 story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. 

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself.

So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.


Did you like it?  Give you any ideas? 

Okay, my box of tissues and I are going back to bed now.  See you on Friday.

Groaner of the Day:  A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage. 

"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."

Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"

That will be $330." the vet replied.

"What?" screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330!?"

"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

Hump Day Caption Contest Time

Happy Hump Day.  It's time for another Caption Contest.

I'm playing with the rules a little this week.  Since I love reading your captions, your name will go into the drawing one time for each picture you caption.  One caption, one entry.  Caption all five and you've got five entries. So put on those thinking caps and let's see some great captions.

Captions will be accepted until midnight on Saturday, Oct. 8.  The winner will select a book from a list of at least six titles.  Don't forget to leave your e-mail address.

Here are this week's pictures.

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Okay, have at it.  Hope this helps you over the hump and you're on an easy coast to the weekend.  See you Friday.

Groaner of the Day: Ten Thousand years ago the first humans came to North America by crossing over from Russia to Alaska. They hadn't actually intended to do this. They got lost and couldn't get their Berings Strait.

Happy Hump Day - and We Have a Winner

Opps.  I'm afraid I got so wrapped up in my 9/11 posts, I completely forgot to announce the winner for last Wednesday's Caption Contest.  Congratulations to:   Maryann Miller.  Maryann, I'll be contacting you by e-mail about your prize.  Thanks to everyone for participating.

This week I'm making it easy on everyone.  These sillies come with captions.  Just enjoy.

I love the last one. 

Please take a moment to say hi if you stop by.  See you on Friday.

Groaner of the Day: In a kingdom far far away, and a long long time ago, a party was being given. To this party the king had invited everyone in the kingdom to his castle. And everyone was having a grand time. The wine was flowing, the tables were overflowing with food, and the dancing was beautiful.

Suddenly, out of thin air a gnarled old man appeared out of thin air. His hands clutched in tight fists by his body, smoke streaming from his shoulders, he walked up to the king and said, "How dare you have a party and not invite your own court wizard! For this insult I curse this castle with the dreaded Curse of the Fingers. Anyone who attempts to leave here will be rendered limb from limb by huge disembodied fingers!"

The wizard waved his bony arms about and shouted in a guttural foreign language. "There!", he said and vanished.

All at once, the people of the kingdom looked to their king. What would he do? How could he save them. The king pursed his lips and looked about him. Finally, he turned to his knights and asked for a volunteer to ride to the next kingdom and plead with their wizard to remove the curse. Of course all of the knights wished to go. The king selected the knight with the greatest seniority and sent him on his way.

The knight gathered up all his weapons, put on his best suit of armour and headed out. As soon as his foot stepped off of the drawbridge, gigantic yellow fingers appeared from nowhere and ripped him limb from limb.

One after another, each knight attempted to ride out of the castle, each one in turn was ripped to shreds. Finally, no knights were left.

The king looked about him. "Is there anyone else who would brave this curse and rescue us from this horrible fate?", he said.

"I will, sir!", said a small boy who had been serving one of the knights before he died.

The small boy packed up his belongings and provisions for the journey. Since he was a poor serving boy, he had no horse and would have to walk. As soon as he crossed the drawbridge, the yellow fingers appeared and tried to rip him apart. They couldn't! Each time the tried to grab him, the boy wriggled free and continued on his journey!

Several days later, the boy was back at the castle with the neighboring kingdom's wizard. The king was overjoyed to have the curse lifted and he called the boy to him.

"How did you escape from those monstrous fingers? All my knights couldn't get past them and they were killed. How could you do it?"

The boy looked up at the king and replied, "Your majesty, I realized after the last knight was killed that the only way to escape this curse was to...let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."

Happy Hump Day - Caption Contest

Happy Hump Day!  Although for many of us, it's a short work week this week so we're getting over the hump a little sooner than usual. Still, I feel like doing something I haven't done for a while - a CAPTION CONTEST.

The rules are simple. Leave me a comment with your best caption for one or more of the pictures below (aw, come on, do all five) and your e-mail address.  Deadline is Saturday at midnight.  I'll throw everyone's name in a hat and draw a winner.  The prize is a book of the winner's choice picked from a selection of titles I'll send to the winner.

Ready, set, caption:

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Did you think of some good ones?  I can't wait to read them.

Groaner of the Day:  A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

Cliffhangers and Sequels - Part Two

Continuing on the subject of cliffhangers (if you missed Part One, click here)... 

{SPOILER ALERT - IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THIS WEEK'S CASTLE YET, STOP READING NOW AND COME BACK AFTER YOU'VE SEEN IT.}



Since I wrote part one of this post, I've watched the season finales of three network TV shows.  All three ended in serious cliffhangers, including my favorite, Castle, which ended with the classic: Beckett shot and possibily dying in Castle's arms.

ARGH!!

But today I want to talk about books.  I love a book series. It fun to start a book already knowing the main character(s), like catching up with an old friend.  Series allow for deeper development of characters and relationships than would be possibile in a single book.  I also enjoy story arcs that run over several books or loose ends/questions that will carry over into a sequel.  But cliffhangers...when the next book won't be out for months or years or possibly (gasp!) ever!  Please don't do that to me.

So where's the line?  What's a sequel setup and what's a chiffhanger?  I tried looking up definitions and there's a lot of gray area on this one, so in lieu of a definitive answer, I'm going to give my opinion.  And ask for yours.

First, the obvious - leaving a main character in immediate danger is a cliffhanger.  Seriously injured, trapped in a burning building, in a car speeding down the hill with no brakes, held hostage, or with the bad guy sneaking in the back door while our hero/heroine waits unsuspectingly.  Definite cliffhangers.  Non-violent versions?  The main character on the verge of a life changing decision (when the choice is not a foregone conclusion for the reader).  A whodunit that ends with "I know who the killer is."

Sequel setups for me are more along the line of unanswered questions or possibilities.  Relationships that may grow or change, problems not completely resolved, a main character heading off on a new adventure, even the classic - the body of the villain that was supposed to be dead is missing. 

Sometimes it's a very fine line.  Say you're at the end of a cop drama.  Crime solved. Bad guy caught. Sadly, the cop's partner was killed in the line of duty.  Final scene, cop is talking to his Captain and hears someone come into the room behind him. Captain says "I want you to meet your new partner."  Final lines:

It was going to be hard; Joe and I were partners a long time.  But he was gone.  I turned around and extended my hand.

It was going to be hard; Joe and I were partners a long time. But he was gone. I turned around and my jaw hit the floor.

To me, the first is a sequel setup. the second is a cliffhanger.

Okay, let's hear from you.  What do you think the difference is between a cliffhanger and a sequel setup?  How do you feel about both or either? 

Special note: Congratulations to Cathy Pegau who won last Friday's Caption Contest.  Cathy selected as her prize, BOOKMARKED FOR DEATH by Lorna Barrett.  Thanks to everyone who played.  You came up with some really great captions.

I'm currently enjoying: Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich

Groaner of the Day:   A man walked into a haunted house wanting to get a picture of a ghost with his camera. After a couple hours, he finally saw one. It was a friendly ghost who actually posed for the picture.

The man took the picture, but it turned out too dark. So the ghost posed for another one, and the picture again turned out dark.

The ghost had to leave so the man did not get a picture.

Another case of - the spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

Friday Caption Contest

Happy Friday!

If Blogger is feeling more cooperative now, it's time for another Fun Friday Caption Contest.

You know the rules.  Give me your best caption for one or more of the pitchers below (more is merrier) and you'll be included in a drawing for a free book - your choice from assorted titles, some print, some e-books.

Don't forget to include your e-mail address in your comment.

Ready?  Let's caption!

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5. 

Did you come up with some good ones?

I've got some writing, some gardening, and several grandkids' lacrosse games on my agenda for the weekend.  What's on yours?


I'm currently enjoying: Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger

Groaner of the Day: A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
(all together now...grooooaaan)

Friday Fun - No Work This Week

Friday fun and total relaxation day. No work for you this week. Here's a few pictures for you to enjoy with the captions aready provided.

 

Did you have a favorite?

Any plans for the weekend? 

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those touched by the devastating storms that struck so many communities this week.

I'm currently enjoying: Just finished Murder on the Mind by L.L. Bartlett (Mugged my grandson to get my Nook back.)

Groaner of the Day: This English landlady had a couple of struggling poets for tenants.

When the poor fellows got behind in their rent, and the landlady was unable to have them evicted. Instead, she decided to murder them.

She baked a large scone and put some poison in it, then invited the poets down for tea. She served each of the chaps a cup of tea and half the scone. The poison worked as advertised, but of course crime does not pay, and the awful woman was soon arrested.

Feigning innocence, she demanded to know with what she was being charged.

The police inspector replied: "Well, it seems, madam, that you have killed two bards with one scone!"