Hump Day Funnies and a Favor Needed

Happy Hump Day

First, thanks for all the poor-baby's last week for my dental crisis.  It took a couple (not fun) dentist visits and I really do miss that tooth, but all is well now.

Next, I want to ask a favor. My dad is seriously ill. He lives a few hours away so I'll be spending a lot of time on the road for a while. If I miss visiting you or if I don't answer your comments, or if my hump day post doesn't happen until Saturday or not at all, please bear with me. Also, for my friends of faith, please offer a prayer for my dad and for all of us who love him so much. Thanks.

Now, as promised...here are your hump day funnies.

This one's a little long but it gave me a good laugh.

I had everything planned and told my wife I would not be going to church with her on Sunday.

She reminded me that Sunday was the Sabbath Day and hunting a trophy buck should not be part of the Sabbath.

So I explained to her…
1. I scouted the area all summer.
2. I searched out the best location for my tree-stand.
3. I set it all up a month ahead of time.
4. I trailed the herd and picked out a trophy buck.
5. Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt.
6. Everything was in place. This was destined to be an epic hunt and I was going.

Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 a.m. I put on my camo, loaded my pack, and set out for my stand.

As I approached my deer stand, I saw...

I called my wife and told her I had decided not to hunt on the Sabbath and would meet her at church.

The Sunday sermon was entitled...  "The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways".

My husband isn't a hunter but I still thought that was funny. 

 

I found another headline I'd thought you'd like.



Good to know.

This isn't a newspaper but it calls for the same question...



Who edits these things?!?

I've got a bit of a problem this week. I can't decide on your "aw". And since my brain is too tired to make decisions, you get a special treat. Two "aw"s for the price of one. (Such a deal.)

These are both dogs so no dog/cat rivalry here. 

And I think there's a theme.

 This guy wants out...

 And this guy wants up.

What do you think? Both worth an "aw"?

 

That's it for today. Are you there? 

Over the midweek hump and headed for a great weekend?

I hope so.

Thanks again for your support.

Thought for Today:

If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

 

Hump Day Funnies - the Human Variety

Happy Hump Day

Here we go again. It's Wednesday and we all need a little something to get us over the mid-week hump.

Before we start, I'm tossing out a blatant bid for sympathy. The other day, I lost the crown off one of my molars and the tooth underneath sort of disintegrated...right down to the gum. So this morning I'll be spending some very unpleasant time in the dentist chair.

Can I get an "aw, poor baby"?

Thank you.

Today I'm giving our furry friends a break and I'm relying on human stupidity or intelligence to provide some laughs. (I'll let you decide which it is.)

Let's start with a couple newspaper headlines:

I think I see their problem.

How about this one?

Yeah, good luck with that.

See if you agree with these...

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability - The probability of your being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

5. The Law of Consumerism - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

The last one applies especially to bras. Am I right, ladies?

I'm not sure what to say about this one.

 But this one makes perfect sense.

Duh.

One last quick one.

At the wedding party someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Oh, come on, that was funny.

Okay, I couldn't make it all the way through without at least one little fur baby.

Here's your "aw" for today.

 You know you said it. 

And that's it for today. Did I get you there? Over the hump and sailing down the slope toward the weekend?

Wonderful!

Did you have a favorite?

If you're reading this on Wednesday, have a kind thought for me in my dental misery.

And have a great week and weekend.

Quote for Today:

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. ~ Mark Twain

Hump Day Headlines...and More

Happy Hump Day 

I'm back. Did you miss me? Notice I was gone?

I had an interesting and rewarding time serving with our church's disaster recovery team in Union Beach, New Jersey, but I was blown away by the amount of devastation still waiting for recovery efforts a year and a half after superstorm Sandy. So many people are still without their homes or trying to live in partially repaired houses. Like many people, I'd thought the bulk of the damage had been repaired. The national media goes home and we assume the crisis is over. It isn't. Please give the people who were affected by Sandy your prayers and any support you can.

Now on to our hump day funnies.

Since I mentioned the media, how about some headlines?

Think about it a second.

Wow. They must have been desperate.

Um...duh.

But his head feels fine.

I guess that was a good day to be a nobody.

Here's a joke I heard the other day.

Man on phone to wife: "Honey, don't panic, but I got hit by a car at lunch. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've taken a bunch of X-rays and I've got three broken ribs and a compound fracture in my left leg. I've only got a minute to talk because they're taking me up for a CAT scan to check for bleeding inside my skull but I told them I had to call you."

Wife's response: "Who is Paula?"

This one just seems kinda timely:

Okay, time for your "aw". I defy anyone to look at this picture and not say it. 

Or at least feel it.

You know you did.

That's it for today. Are we there? Over the hump and on the downhill slide to the weekend? I hope so.

Did you have a favorite?

Have a great weekend and I'll see you here next Wednesday (if not at your place before then).

Question of the Day:

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Hump Day News and Weather

Happy Hump Day

I sort of feel I should write a serious post today since I devoted Monday to Maria's adorable beasties but it's Wednesday and I know you need some funnies to get you over the mid-week hump.

First, a quick weather update.  Here's what going on outside here tonight.

(Doesn't snow look cool in a camera flash.)

It's that great wet snow that clings to everything. Tomorrow morning the world will be covered in powered sugar.

Now, here's a shocking report from our local paper (okay, from somebody's local paper). 

 Certainly wouldn't have expected that.

Have you seen the latest in gas prices?

Yup, the high cost of gas is driving people to desperate measures.  Got to shave a few bucks off the old grocery bill.

Don't you love a well placed price tag?

Ah, and here's a story of justice at its finest.

I wonder how many he gets before the court realizes where they're going?

 

Here's another news flash for you.

 

Sure glad we have these on-the-spot reporters to keep us thus informed, aren't you?

But I think we have a dissenting opinion.

Wait a minute, isn't that your old school picture?  But I don't see your face.

Okay, enough foolishness. Time for your weekly "aw". 

This one will probably give you a chuckle as well but isn't this the epitome of true friendship?

 A friend in need...

Okay, that's it.  Did I get you over the hump? Did you have a favorite?

Is this storm hitting you or are you sitting somewhere, basking in sunshine?

Coast on down to Friday and I'll see you there.

Thought for the Day:  

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.