Dads and Birthdays and Favorite Stories

Happy Hump Day

Hope you don't mind but I'm going to start with something a little different today.

My father was a great story teller. Not fiction, he'd just tell stories of his life but he was so good at it people always wanted to listen. I remember my brother once complained that his friends would come over to hang out and end up gathered around Dad, just listening to him talk.

This week I'm thinking a lot about a story Dad loved to tell. It's the story of his 24th birthday - the day I was born. I'm going to try to tell it the way he did, in his words.

I was working days and going to school nights on the G.I. Bill, like most guys after the war. It was about 10:30 at night and I got off the bus a couple blocks from Kay's parents place. We were staying there so they could help take care of Corky - he was about two then - while Kay was pregnant. I was coming down the sidewalk and I saw the car at the corner, with Kay and her mom and dad, waiting for me.

I said to myself, "Well, isn't that nice? They've come to take me out for an ice cream for my birthday." I didn't want to spoil the surprise or act too excited so I was playing Joe Cool, sauntering down the sidewalk, taking my own sweet time. As I got to them, I said, "Hey, what are you guys doing here?", like I wasn't even thinking about it being my birthday.

Kay's dad, who never swore, smacked his hand on the steering wheel and yelled, "Will you get in the G-- damn car. She's having the baby."

I got in and we raced to the hospital. I was wheeling Kay in - you know, in the wheelchair - and this nurse stops us. She's got a clipboard and a pen and she says, "Hold on. We've got to complete these forms before we take you upstairs."

And Kay, in that quiet way of hers, said softly, "Oh, I don't think we have time for that."

Something must have told the nurse Kay was right because she shoved the clipboard at me, told me to start filling it out, and took Kay upstairs.

Fifteen minutes later, Linda was born.

***

I know I don't tell it as well as he did but I just felt like sharing it today.
He always said I was the most expensive birthday gift he ever received.

Growing up, there were times I actually resented having to share my birthday. Every cake always said, "Happy Birthday - Linda and Dad".

As I got older, I loved sharing that cake with him and singing "Happy Birthday" to each other..

I'm very lucky that we got to spend all of our recent birthdays together. Including his last one.

This Saturday, May 9, will be the first birthday I haven't shared with my Dad but I think I'll sing to him anyway.  And I'll put both our names on the cake.
Happy Birthday, Dad.

Okay, I know it's still hump day and you need your funny, so here's a quick joke. (Dad would have loved this one.)

Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn, were sitting on a park bench outside the town hall where a flower show was in progress.

Connie leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For ten dollars I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show."

"You're on," said Evelyn, holding up a ten dollar bill.

So Connie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes. She grabbed a dried flower from a nearby display and held it between her teeth. Then, completely naked, she streaked (as fast as an old lady could) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, Evelyn heard a huge commotion, followed by loud applause and whistling. Finally, the smiling Connie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

"What happened?" asked Evelyn.

"I won $1,000! First prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement!"'

Come on, you know you laughed.

 And, of course, I wouldn't leave you without your "aw".

How about this one?

 

Snuggle-buddies.

That's it. Thanks for letting me share a bit of my dad today.

Hope we got you over the mid-week hump and cruising to the weekend.
Have a good one.

See you next week.

Thought for Today:

Hump Day - Short and Sweet

Happy Hump Day

I've noticed my hump day posts have been running a little long lately and since most of us have limited time for blog reading, I'm changing to a shorter format for a while. Please let me know what you think.

I love dogs. We've always had dogs as part of our family. I believe dogs are incredibly loving and faithful and intelligent. But sometimes...just on occasion, I question their honesty. 

You know what I mean?

How about a little old lady joke? (My favorites.)

Sylvia and Wanda, two very old friends, meet up in heaven. They're startled to see each other.

"Wanda! What are you doing here? I didn't know you'd passed."

"Oh, it's just been a couple days. I didn't know you were here either. How did you die?"

"I froze to death."

"Oh, my dear, that sounds terrible."

"It wasn't so bad. After I stopped shaking, I began to feel all warm and sleepy and just drifted away. What about you?"

"Heart attack. My own fault really. I thought my husband was cheating on me so I came home early to catch him in the act."

"And did you?"

"No. He was sitting there alone watching TV. But I was sure there was a woman there somewhere. I started searching all over the house. I ran up to the attic and down to the basement. I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept racing around until I was exhausted and I just keeled over with a massive heart attack and died."

"Too bad you didn't look in the freezer, dear. We'd both still be alive."

Be honest. Did you see that one coming?

Time for your "aw".

I've done a lot of "aw" pictures with puppies and kittens and babies. Even otters.

How about a pair of loving fawns?

Did you say it?

Okay, that's it. Are we there? Over the mid-week hump?

Excellent!

Does the shorter post format work for you?

Have a great day, week, and weekend.

See you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Battling Church Signs and Other Hump Day Nonsense

Happy Hump Day.

I'm going to do something different this week. Your first funny of the day is a series of battling church signs. 

Now before anyone takes offense, I know these aren't real and they aren't meant to reflect the actual beliefs of any particular faith. They're just for fun, okay?

 

Personally, I would love to believe these were actual signs but my son was quick to point out they were obviously Photoshopped. I don't care, they still made me laugh.

How about a little old lady joke?

(You know why I claim the right to tell these.)

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Trooper saw a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. Knowing a car going that slowly could be just as dangerous as a speeder, he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. As he approached the car, he noticed there were five old ladies - two in the front and three in the back of the car - wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver was obviously confused. "Officer, I don`t understand, I know I wasn't speeding. What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma`am, you weren`t speeding, but driving significantly slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly -- twenty-two miles an hour."

The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

"Oh dear," she replied, "that's right. Thank you. I see the difference now."

"Well, I'm going to let you go this time," the officer said, "but I have to ask...is everyone okay?  These women seem awfully shaken up."

"Oh, they`ll be fine in a minute, Officer. We just got off Route 119."

I didn't get a picture of that lady with her friends but I did get this one of her with her dog.

I think she's on Route 119 again.

Okay, the church signs ran this post a bit longer than usual so I'm jumping straight to your "aw".

There's nothing like sharing a nap with your best friend.

Aw, come on. You know you said it.

I want to take a second and thank my blog friend Alex Cavanaugh, the Ninja Captain, who gave this blog a very nice mention in his post yesterday.  He also referred to me as "someone with a pure heart", quite the nicest compliment I can think of.  Thank you, Alex.

If you don't follow Alex's blog (is there anyone who doesn't follow Alex's blog), you really should stop by. Especially now during the A-Z Challenge.

 Okay, are we there? Over the mid-week hump?

Oh, yeah - we're sailing toward the weekend!

Have a great one and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Hump Day and Thanksgiving Wishes

Happy Hump Day

Before I get into our hump day funnies, I just have to show you what I found at my local library last week. I was totally surprised.

If you can't read the small print at the bottom, it mentions the title of my story.  How cool is that?

Now, since I like my hump day post to give you a lift, here are some pictures of friends giving friends a lift.

I'm not really sure on that last one if the dog is giving the cat a boost or trying to pull her down. But we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Here's your joke of the week. This one may be just a touch risque but I don't think it will bring a blush to anyone's cheek.

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
             

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. Then he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.  However, as left the store, the farmer was struggling to carry all his purchases.
             

He sat down to ponder his problem when a little old lady came by and told him she was lost.

'Can you tell me how to get to 106 Rose Cottage Lane?'
             

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

 The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.  Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the lady home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know when we get in the alley you won't hold me against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
             

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.

I love little old lady jokes.  

Of course it wouldn't be Thanksgiving if I didn't include my all time favorite turkey day cartoons.

 Cracks me up.

Okay, this post is running a bit long so let's cut straight to your weekly "aw".

Somebody's waiting for a little push.

Don't you want to help? 

(Come on, you know you said it.)

Before I wrap up, I have to thank my friend and blog buddy, Father Dragon, for this very special award. I'll try to be worthy of it.

 

 Happy Thanksgiving for all my friends here in the U.S.and

Happy Hump Day to everyone. 

Thought for Today:

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. - Albert Schweitzer