Tornadoes in Ohio and Furniture Woes - Part Two

Happy Hump Day.

Okay, I'll admit it right up front. I'm cheating a little on your hump day funnies this week. I'm running behind on my editing and since you all seemed to really like last week's post, I'm going to give you Furniture Pet Woes - Part Two. Plus a joke or two, of course.

Before we start, I had an interesting experience this past weekend I'd like to share (part of the reason I'm behind on other things). Last week, a tornado touched down not too far from here. No causalities but it destroyed one home and did major damage to a number of others. I went out with our church disaster response team to help. The lady we were helping had quite a bit of damage to her house, which luckily insurance would take care off, but she was very concerned about her barn. This barn was built in the late 1800s and a more modern structure would probably have been flattened. As it was, the storm pealed back the metal roof like a can opener and knocked a big hole in the framework. Her immediate need was getting all the wet hay out of the wooden lofts before rot could set in. So she handed us some pitchforks and we got to work. It was the first time I'd ever used a pitchfork. I think I have a knack for it.

One crew tossed the hay from the lofts to the floor then another one moved it outside. I was in the second team. It went well until one of the upstairs crew decided to use a shovel to scrape up what was left and push it over the side - directly above where I was working. I don't want to tell you what he dumped on my head but the shower I took that night was very hot and very long. (Go ahead and laugh. My grandkids thought it was hysterical.)

We also spent some time walking the farm fields, gathering large pieces of debris - mostly tree limbs and pieces of metal siding. Biggest thing we found...a telephone pole, sheared off at its base and still trailing its wires, sitting in the middle of a bean field. We never did figure out where it had blown in from. I wish I'd gotten a picture of it for you.

Okay, let move on to your hump day funnies.

One thing we didn't cover last week was the age old problem of sectionals.

And then there are slippery chairs a poor kitty can slide right off of.

That 'slide right off of' problem seems to happen with couch cushions, too.

Why, a poor pet could disappear and be trapped forever.

It's just too horrifying to think about.

Let's switch to a joke. 

I'm picking on little old ladies again. 

(Did I tell you I just turned 65?)

 
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 

'May I see the new baby?' I asked. 

 'Not yet,' she said. 'I'll make coffee and we can talk for a while first.' 

 Thirty minutes passed and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?' 

 'No, not yet,' she said. 

A little while later, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?' 

'No, not yet,' replied my friend. 

 Growing impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 

 'When he cries.' she told me. 

'When he cries? Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

 Oh, come on. That was funny.

Time for your "aw".

I almost didn't use this one because it was a little blatant in the "aw" department.

But it was just too cute to pass up.

Don't you think?

Did we get there? Over the hump and coasting toward the weekend?

 I hope so.

Did you have a favorite?

Have a fantastic weekend - Memorial Day Weekend for my friends here in the States.

See you next week.

Quote for Memorial Day:

"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."  President Thomas Jefferson

 

Furniture Woes, PK Hrezo's New Cover, and the 2014 Write Club is Coming!!

Happy Hump Day

Here we go with some hump day funnies to get you through the week or just through the day, whenever you stop by.

My pictures today are all on the same theme: pets and people furniture. 

You know, sometimes they don't always go together.

There are cracks in the seats to slip through...

and in the backs as well.

Sometimes it's a size issue.

And sometimes...um...I'm not sure how to explain this one.

Maybe we better move on to a joke.

I'm a little old lady, so I can tell these...

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asked, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replied, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he said.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

Okay, let's break from the funnies for a minute for some great news. 

First, we have the cover reveal for PK Hrezo's Butterman Travel sequel,
INDUCTION DAY

The year 2069 is coming to a close, and eighteen-year-old Bianca Butterman's pilot license is finally official. She's ready for the Induction Day she’s waited for since she was a kid—the one that will secure her name on the Butterman family tree of time travelers. But ever since the media discovered Bianca is pop superstar Tristan Helms’ latest new honey, everything Bianca does or says becomes a target of criticism. Having her professional credibility topping the gossip sites across social media is an open invitation for the government to step in and regulate Bianca’s Induction. Now she will have to ask herself if saving 1500 people from drowning is worth losing everything she’s ever worked for, including the Butterman family biz.

 

Great cover and it sounds like a terrific story. You can add it to your GoodReads shelf by clicking HERE.

Congratulations, PK.

Second news item:

IT'S BACK!

DL Hammons' fabulous Write Club for 2014 is now accepting submissions.

Haven't heard about the Write Club? I'll let DL explain...

"It’s a modest writing competition whose inspiration was derived from the movie FIGHT CLUB.  There are numerous versions of this concept around the internet, but nothing like we do it here.  This unique approach, combined with your participation, continues to set it apart from the other writing competitions and is responsible for its phenomenal growth.  Its essence embodies simple, good-natured competition, with lots and lots of fun sprinkled on top. 

Over the course of eight weeks I’ll be holding twice-weekly bouts in which the winners will advance to the play-offs, which will ultimately lead to a single champion.  Bouts between who…or what…you ask.  Anonymous 500 word writing samples, submitted under a pen name by anyone who wishes to take part, that’s who.   The writing can be any genre, any style (even poetry) with the word count being the only restriction.  It’s a way to get your writing in front of a lot of readers, without having to suffer the agony of exposure. 

And the winners are determined by WRiTE CLUB readers!"

Sound like fun? Of course it does. So hop over to the Write Club site for all the details and send in your submission.         

Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking I forgot your "aw". 

Never!

I'm staying with my "pets in furniture" collection but this one qualified as an "aw".

The eyes did it for me.

How about you?

That's it for today. Hope you found a smile or a chuckle or even a good old belly laugh. 

Did I get an "aw"?

Did you have a favorite?

Have a great day, week, weekend...oh heck, have a great everything.

See you next Wednesday.

Scientific Fact for Today:

The National Institutes of Health has just released the results of a $200 million research study completed under a grant to Johns Hopkins. 

The new study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

 

 

Hump Day Shame

Happy Hump Day

I'm really dying to tell you more about FLIGHTS OF FICTION, but it's hump day and my goal for today is just to help you over the mid week hump with a few laughs.

These pictures came to me in an e-mail, uncredited. I wanted to credit the "pet shame" website they came from but there appear to be several sites where people can post pictures of naughty pets and I don't know where these originated. Well, actually, I think it's safe to say they originated with frustrated dog owners.

If you share your home with a dog, or even if you don't, I think you'll appreciate these.

Some of the signs are hard to read so I'll repeat them in the captions.

I ate the tooth that the little human was saving for the tooth fairy.

  I ate an entire child's birthday cake from the kitchen counter.

Mom had to tell a six year old that she didn't get a cake that year.

I pooped blue for days.

Peed on a child's sandcastle...while the child was building it.

Never went to the beach again.

I get on the dining room table, but I'm too afraid to get down.

I've got to admit, this one's my favorite.

Peed on Yoda I did.

And I'm going to be able to stay with this theme and still give you your "aw" of the week.

I think this one works.

I steal pacifiers.

Did it work? Did you get the grin, giggle, or guffaw you needed to get you over the hump? 

Yes? Okay, my work here is done.

Did you have any favorites?

If you have a pet, do you ever have the urge to place them on a wall of shame?  What would their sign say?

Thought for the Day:   If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Hard News

When I took a blog-break at the beginning of June, I expected to be back for the first of July.  As July approached, though I was nowhere near caught up with other things, I still intended to post on July 1.  Then life took a sad turn.

Those of you who have been with me a while followed my dear Brandi through our attempts to save her ulcerated eye.  We saved the eye, although she lost much of the vision in it.  On Wednesday, June 29, her other eye ulcerated suddenly.  By Thursday she was totally and permanently blind.  Our options were to remove her eyes, which were causing her significant pain, or have her put to sleep.

Even though she also suffered from arthritis and partial hearing loss, we weren't ready  to accept the second option, so we scheduled the surgery for Tuesday - after the holiday weekend.  By Saturday we knew we'd made a mistake.  Watching our dear old girl stumbling around in the dark told us what we didn't want to know.  It was time. 

Sadly, she still had to wait until the vet's office re-opened on Tuesday, so we spent her last three days trying to make her comfortable and saying goodbye.  She left us Tuesday morning.  The empty place she left in our lives cannot be measured.

I'm attending the PSWA conference later this week, followed by hosting out of town guests, so I probably won't get back to regular blogging/blog following until the end of July.  Just wanted you to know I'm still here. 

Have a kind thought for our Brandi.  She's gone to join Chance at the Rainbow Bridge.