Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Rings and Things and Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day

As a followup to last week's post, I'm sorry to tell you that I did not find my engagement ring and I'm resigning myself to the idea that it's gone for good. On a more upbeat note, I have managed to hang onto the guy who gave me that ring and we're celebrating our 48th anniversary today. 

Happy Anniversary, honey.

I'm also delight to reveal this cover for DAY OF THE DARK.

Twenty-four stories by some wonderful authors, 
coming July 21 from Wildside Press.
(Yes, including one of mine.)

Now on to your hump day funnies.
Let's start with a joke.

It was New Year's Eve and my husband and I were doing the town. We turned on a night light, covered the parakeet's cage, and put the cat in the backyard. To avoid any DUI problems, we called a taxi, but when the taxi arrived and we opened the door, the cat scooted back inside.

This is a problem because if we leave the cat in the house, she goes after the bird. I went out to the cab while my husband went inside to get the cat. I'm always nervous about letting people know our house is going to be empty so I told the cabbie, "My husband will be right out. He's just gone upstairs to say goodnight to my mother.”

A few minutes later, my husband climbed into the cab. ”Sorry I took so long,” he said, as we drove away. “She was hiding under our bed again. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck but I still had to wrap a blanket around her to keep her from scratching me. I tell you, she can be a real hell-cat sometimes. But I managed to haul her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car.

I know. That was awful. 
But it made me laugh. What can I say?

Saw an interesting ad the other day...


Here's a quickie.

A little boy asked his grandmother, "Nana, how old are you?"
"Thirty-nine and holding," she replied.
He thought for a minute then asked, How old would you be if you let go?"

How about a couple thoughts to ponder this week?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Okay, time for your "aw". 

I've seen this one a couple places so you may have seen it before
but my heart always breaks for this poor guy.
look at those eyes.

I sure hope they didn't make him
 wait too long for that hot dog. 

That's all for today. Did we get you there? Over the hump and on the fast slope to the weekend? I hope so. Did you have a favorite?

To all the moms here in the U.S., have a very Happy Mother's Day. And to all moms, step-moms, grandmoms, great-grandmoms, and everyone who has ever been in the role of mom, even for a little while, have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. You've earned it.
Thought for the Day:
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "No way. That can't be right."


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Happy anniversary! Sorry you didn't find your ring. At least you still have the guy.
Day of the Dark is a cool title.
My roommate in college had a dog who would balance food on her nose like that and she'd wait until he told her she could eat it.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Apparently it wasn't for sale. They didn't leave a number! :)

Happy Mommy's Day to you, too!

Maria Zannini said...

I'm so sorry about the ring, but you never know. It could turn up.

Happy anniversary to you both though. Well done!

re: joke
Okay. That one made me laugh out loud.

Jemi Fraser said...

I was so hoping you'd find that ring!!! Hopefully it pops up one day - happy anniversary to you both!! :)

The cat/mother joke did make me laugh too :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi LD - sorry about the ring ... but it may still turn up - let's hope so. More importantly is the wonderful man standing next to you ... congratulations on that anniversary ... and have a very happy weekend ... cheers Hilary

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I'm sorry you never found the ring, but happy anniversary.

Good question - what is a whack? said...

Happy Anniversary! You look like spring chickens. Here's to 48 more.

LD Masterson said...

Alex - Thanks you on all counts. I hope your roommate didn't make his dog wait too long for the go ahead. That has to be torture for the poor thing.

Stacy - True. But why pay for the ad? Very odd.

Maria - I'm going to stop looking for it. That alone may cause me to find it. Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who had to laugh.

Jemi - Thanks. I wasn't sure about that joke so I'm glad others found it funny, too.

Hilary - Yeah, he's a better keeper than the ring (if I have to choose). Cheers.

Diane - Thanks you. And, no, that's a real question. You tell me "what's a whack?" (lol)

Robyn - I look like I just laid an egg? Well, maybe, with some of my jokes. (Thanks.)

Lexa Cain said...

Sorry about your ring, but Happy Anniversary! I laughed a lot at the cat/mother-in-law one! The rest were great too. I love that eclipse cover. The whole idea is great! Wishing you a wonderful weekend. :)

LD Masterson said...

Thanks, Lexa. Glad to give you a laugh. Watch for more on DAY OF THE DARK. You have a great weekend!

Mike Keyton said...

That is one great photo, Linda. And I enjoyed the cab driver joke. Ref the dog and the sausage, I'll never forget when my uncle's dog picked a toffee up from the floor and began eating it. We were children and it was like watching a cartoon for real. The dog, a mongrel old English sheep dog, very hairy, was rolling on the floor with it's paws to its mouth trying to disengage it from its teeth. I think your sausage dog has it easy in comparison :)

LD Masterson said...

Mike - Ever watch a dog trying to deal with a mouthful of peanut butter? Priceless!

Karen Lange said...

So sorry about your ring! That is no fun. But anniversaries are fun, so Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby! Forty eight years is something to celebrate. And for the record, you don't look old enough to be married that long. :)

LD Masterson said...

Thank you, Karen. Would you believe I was a child bride? lol

Stephen Tremp said...

Hahaha that poor dog. I hope they also gave him a dessert treat for being such a good dog.

LD Masterson said...

Stephen - Me, too. And I hope they didn't make him balance the treat on his nose.

Romance Book Haven said...

Happy Anniversary to you both. Sorry about your ring though.

LD Masterson said...

Romance Book Haven ladies - Thank you. And thanks for dropping by.

SRUN POR said...

I was very fortunate to be able to visit your page.