A New Anthology and Some Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day.

It's been an exciting spring for me with the recent release of two anthologies containing stories of mine, Still Me After All These Years and Fish Out of Water - A Guppy Anthology, and two more on the way. Plus, this weekend I received word that another story has been accepted for an anthology scheduled for release in the fall. I seem to be on a roll.

(Major happy dance going on over here.)

Coming up next is Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat, which will include my short mystery "Annie Get Your Goat." Busted! is being released by Level Best Books on April 25, 2017. Again, I'm in great company. Check out this list of terrific authors and stories:

• “Justice Due” by Jack Bates
• “Thicker than Water” by Micki Browning
• “No Mulligans” by Leone Ciporin
• “Bygones” by Bruce Robert Coffin
• “Last Call for Buffalo” by Randall DeWitt
• “Fall in New Hampshire” by Sharon Daynard
• “Most Evil” by Peter DiChellis
• “Bad Friday” by Martin Edwards
• “Deadly Discovery in Dallas” by Sanford Emerson
• “The Woman in White” by Tracy Falenwolfe
• “Ida Mae Buys a Crown Vic” by Kate Flora
• “Get Along Little Dogie” by CC Guthrie
• “The Letters of Patrick Bushell” by Gavin Keenan
• “Afternoon Delight” by Steve Liskow
• “The Program” by Cyndy Edwards Lively
• “Becky’s File” by Ruth McCarty
• “The Drive By” by Alison McMahan
• “Annie Get Your Goat” by LD Masterson
• “Chains” by Claire Murray
• “Christmas Shift” by Dale Phillips
• “Truth, Grace and Lies” by Adele Polomski
• “The Cattle Raid of Adams” by Keenan Powell
• “Goldie” by KM Rockwood
• “The Owl and the Pussycats” by Verena Rose
• “The Runner” by Steve Roy
• “No Safe Place” by Harriette Sackler
• “The Man Who Wasn’t Missing” by Brenda Seabrooke
• “Play Dead” by Shawn Reilly Simmons
• “Sensitivity Training” by Albert Tucher
• “Pet Peeve” by Kari Wainwright
• “Burning Bright” by Vicki Weisfeld

 I can't wait to read this one. 

But it's hump day and I know what you're here for so... 

here's a hump day funny for you.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. 

He got an A.

Well, what grade would you have given him?

Remember those crazy newspaper clippings

from last week?

How about a desk calendar?

 Ya think?

 Here's an interesting item.

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

 I'll admit it. That one cracked me up.

Okay, I have a challenge for you.

Look at this week's "aw" picture,

and try not to say "aw".

 Betcha couldn't do it.

That's it for today. Are you there? Over the midweek hump and sailing toward the weekend?

Good! Then my work here is done. Did you have a favorite?

Have a fabulous week/weekend. See you next Wednesday.

Common Sense Tip of the Day:

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Still Me...After All These Years - Cover Reveal

I've been having a lot of fun the last few months writing mystery short stories - some light, some dark - and several have found homes in various anthologies. But I also tried something a little different, a personal essay...on aging, a topic I'm becoming all too familiar with. 

My essay "On Dreams, Appetites and Possibilities" will be included in the anthology Still Me... After All These Years, along with stories by twenty-three wonderful authors. Still Me was conceived by author and blog friend Karen Helene Walker who collected these stories and put it all together. I'm very grateful to be part of this exciting project.

Don't you love the cover?

Here's the blurb:

Poignant...Humorous...Brutally Honest!

A collection of personal reflections guaranteed to keep you inspired and entertained on that journey we all travel together: The Journey of Aging

With a blend of grace, dignity, warmth and humor, women and men from 60 to 90 and from all walks of life candidly share the blessings and pitfalls of aging – from keeping dreams alive and keeping sex lives active to dealing with retirement, loss of independence and a growing sense of mortality.

A BOOK ABOUT LIVING EVERY MOMENT OF LIFE!

 
The release date is scheduled for April 4, 2017 but the e-book version is available here for pre-order now with print version to follow.

And it's still hump day so here's a hump day funny for you. The following are signs that were spotted all across the country. Some you might have to give a second thought.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

In a New York drugstore: We dispense with accuracy.

In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center

On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

At a number of military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel. (Note: I've seen one of these!)
 
In a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

 Um...how's that again?

Okay, time for your weekly "aw".

Just a couple of friends...

 Does that qualify as dancing cheek to cheek?

That's it for today. Hope you found enough chuckles in here to get you over the midweek hump and coasting to the weekend.  

Watch for more news on Still Me...After All These Years as we get closer to the release date.

Quote for Today:

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill