Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dog Thoughts and the London Tube - Now That's a Pairing

Happy Hump Day

It's a nippy (single digits) day here in Ohio. There's snow on the ground and more on the way. If you're in New England or even New York, you have my sympathies. Stay safe. If your someplace warm and sunny...I hate you.

Just kidding. (sort of)

 I really don't mind winter but I do miss being able to open the dog door. The sliding glass door leading to our backyard didn't lend itself to a year-round dog door but we found this cool device that lets you install a flap door in the screen. Of course, it only works if the glass door is open and just the screen door is closed but it's very nice in the summer.

Anyway, our Sophie has figured out that we always respond to her scratching at the door - assuming she needs to go out. So she's taken to scratching at the door when she wants something to eat and when one of us walks to the door to let her out, she runs over to her food dish. She's on a diet right now so these calls to the food dish (or the area where the food dish would be if we've picked it up) are getting annoyingly frequent, but I know the one time I ignore her will be the time she really does need to go out.  

If only we could hear a dog's thoughts...

Oh yeah, I've had a few that were probably thinking this.

This is why saying "no" doesn't work.

I'm not sure about this one but I've had it for a while and it always makes me smile. Plus it looks like spring and some of us could use a little spring today.

Okay, we've had church ladies and hospital staff and English students. Let's finish off the month with London train drivers.

This is supposedly a list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers. I wasn't there but based on the sense (senses?) of humor of my British friends, I can believe these.

1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

2) "We are now traveling through Baker Street... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".

3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad  news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."

4) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."

5) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions."

6) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'."

7) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."

8) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

9) "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."

10) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."

Gotta love 'em.

I have to admit today's "aw" is personal. My mom had Chihuahuas and I remember one that looked just like this. Her name was Tuppence.

Worked for me, How about you?

So, did we get there? Are you over the midweek hump? 
Going to make it to the weekend?

Did you have any favorites?

Have a wonderful week/weekend and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today (on friendship):


Stacy McKitrick said...

I liked the one with the two dogs looking at the pizza (or whatever food that was on the counter). I guess that's what my own dog thought when she ate half my husband's birthday cake. Which WAS on the counter, but apparently not back far enough. :)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Sounds like your dog is trying to train you to give him more food.
Love those tube announcements. Wonder if they got a reprimand for some of those.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those are great! I wonder if the one guy got any change?
Dogs got smart when they saw those sofas.
No snow here. Bummer.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! I just choked on my drink. Those were so funny.

That pizza is toast.

Stephen Tremp said...

Although I don't smoke pot anymore I do like number nine. And thanks for the laughs. No weed necessary as your Happy Hump Day posts always make me laugh.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

It's cod here in WV too, but we didn't get the monster snow. My kids cried and cried.
Love the funnies! Thanks for sharing.

Karin said...

Oh no! Does this mean you hate me? I promise not to gloat too much!

Jemi Fraser said...

Those are awesome! I can totally hear the frustration in some of those voices! The chihauhau is adorable! :)

Patricia Stoltey said...

Laughed out loud at the Friendship thingie at the end. As for the tube driver quotes, I've flown with a couple of airline attendants who should have been stand up comedians. It sure lightens the mood! And finally, I won't tell you what the weather was like in Northern Colorado this week because I don't want you to hate me. :D

Carol Kilgore said...

"Oh heck yeah" pretty much sums up most doggie thoughts in our house!

Clarissa Draper said...

Stay warm. I hear it's cold in the US. Thanks for the train funnies!

mshatch said...

My dog wouldn't hesitate to liberate food from the counter - which is why I do my best never to leave any there!

Love the kitties in the sink :)

Al Diaz said...

I have a Chihuahua but she doesn't look like that one. However, she manages to give me Aww moments all the time.

I love the train ones. I thought problems with people blocking the doors only happened in Mexico. Glad to see it's not a 3rd world problem. :p

Donna K. Weaver said...

Aww Tuppence. I started singing that song from Mary Poppins.

~Sia McKye~ said...

My time spent here reading your post went, cough-COUGH (coffee went down wrong), snork, giggle and outright laughter--Loved 'oh go ahead then,stuff yourselves in like sardines...I'm still chuckling. Like someone else mentioned, I've numerous times with stand-up comedians passing themselves off as flight attendants. I guess it gets people's attention.

I have Great Danes and trust me, their heads rest comfortably on the counter and my butter has mysteriously disappeared--paper and all--so I know better than to leave anything within muzzel distance. They know they're to stay away from the counter and mostly follow through on that. :-)

Sia McKye Over Coffee

LD Masterson said...

Stacy - I hope it was a leftover half and not a fresh baked one you were getting ready to sing over.

Susan G/K - It's a toss up right now as to who's training who. I think she's winning.

Alex - I've got friends in Boston who would be glad to send you some snow. *grin*

Diane - I know I should have a good line about the pizza being pizza and not toast but it's just not coming.

Stephen - Hmmm, so that means you used weed as a source of laughter. Interesting.

Elizabeth - Kids here don't want any more snow. The schools have used up all their snow days so any more closures will extend school in the spring.

Karin - Oh heck, if I get jealous of your weather, I'll show up at your front door. *grin*

Jemi - I think all drivers, conductors, flight attendants, etc. should get to be that honest. It would make traveling a lot more fun.

Patricia - Yup, see my reply to Jemi, above. (Really nice out there this week, huh?)

Carol - I think here, too.

Clarissa - Glad you liked them.

mshatch - We use to have big dogs and no counter was safe. Now we have a slightly pudgy little Jack Russell terrier. Too short to reach, too plump to jump.

LD Masterson said...

Al - Oh trust me, I've never been anywhere that blocking doors wasn't a problem.

Donna - Yeah, whenever I think of her that happens to me. Actually Mom named her that because we'd had another dog named Penny, so this one was Penny II, Penny 2 = 2 pennies = Tuppence.

Sia - I saved the "sardines" one till last because it was my favorite.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Gotta love that British humor... I mean "humour"... it's So dry and understated.

Gee, your dog may be onto something. I wonder if my hubby will fetch me something to eat if I scratch on the door...?

Love your aw picture. I used to have a chihuahua/toy manchester years ago. Sweetest little thing.

Lexa Cain said...

Your poor Sophie. There's nothing worse than being on a diet. No wonder she's faking you out and then begging at her food dish. If it were me, I'd be doing it too. lol

I loved the pics! My fave was "I'm a flower." The British have such a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. The quotes were a riot! Thanks for the laughs. :-D

LD Masterson said...

Susan F.S. - Wow. We had a chihuahua/toy manchester when I was a kid. One of the best dogs I ever loved.

Lexa - I know. She acts as though she's starving to death but she's gotten really pudgy and it's not good for her.

Liz Fichera said...

Oh, jeez. Those tube announcements are priceless. Love 'em. And I love the dog in the flowers. :)

Marcia said...

Those announcements would really make one want to ride the Tube. Maybe that's the point. :)

Maria Zannini said...

We've been in the 70s, but it's back to cooler temps this weekend.

Re: Sophie
You realize she spends ALL day trying to figure out ways to outsmart you, right?

LD Masterson said...

Liz - I know, there's just something about that picture. Makes me smile every time.

Marcia - I've only ridden the Tube a couple times (visiting London )...drivers weremail behaving themselves. Darn.

Maria - I'm not sure it takes that much effort on her part.

Mike Keyton said...

'I'm a flower' cracked me up, as did the other two dog pics. As for the Tube drivers, it's hell down there in rush hour. You laugh or you die :)

Cate Masters said...

Glad the Tube drivers have fun at work! lol

Karen Lange said...

These are funny! I can just imagine being a passenger and hearing one of these lines.

Like you, I don't mind winter. As long as it doesn't snow endlessly. :) Happy weekend!

LD Masterson said...

Mike - Oh no. Please keep laughing. We wouldn't want to lose you.

Cate - Fun for the passengers, too.

Karen - Happy weekend to you, too.

Arlee Bird said...

The life of a transit employee is surely frustrating at times. Then again, there are some announcements you don't want to hear when you're just in a hurry to get somewhere while riding with bunch of people you'd rather not be riding with.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out

Heather Holden said...

Whoops, where I live is very sunny. Guess that means you hate me! :P

Also, today's "aww" is way too adorable. My current dog is part-Chihuahua, so I definitely have a soft spot for them... :)

LD Masterson said...

Lee - To be honest, most transit PA systems I've heard are such poor quality I can't make out what's being said.

Heather - Nah, even though we're getting snowed on again right now, I can't really hold your lovely weather against you. Now I can't speak for those poor New Englanders.