Kids, Animals, and Idiots - Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day 

Life is intruding today so I'm a little late but I wouldn't want to leave you without a few funnies to get you over the hump.

Food for thought.

 

I've still enjoying this batch of kid jokes I found last week.

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. 

Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

This one is also true of working in IT tech support.

Another kid funny. I hope you're enjoying these.

I identified with this one.

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" 

Mentally polishing my halo, I said, "No, how are we alike?'' 

"You're both old."

You've got to love this face.

Of course, I'd never forget your "aw".

Here it is.

 

The expression on the dog's face did me in.

That's it. Hope those did the trick and got you over the mid week (or whenever you see this) hump.

Did you have a favorite?

Any plans for this weekend?

Quote for Today:

Write without pay until someone offers to pay. ~ Mark Twain

A Very Happy Hump Day with Great News

Happy Hump Day

Since it is a very happy hump day, I'm going to lead with the good news:

My friend Scott, who many of you have been praying for the last two weeks, turned the corner a couple days ago and is beginning his road to recovery. It will be a long, slow one but he's going to get there. My deepest thanks to all of you who offered prayers and positive thoughts for someone you don't know.  Prayer is the greatest gift we can offer anyone, and the most powerful.

Now on to some funnies.

For all of us that have seen enough snow this year for three winters...

I'm sorry. I thought it was funny.

 From the mouths of babes we have...

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." 

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's very interesting. How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

And what were you thinking?

Staying with that snow theme...

 

That's not a picture of my Sophie but I know she's felt that way a few times lately.

 

To keep this post from being totally frivolous, something educational:

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a rolled up paper.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting Flies," he answered.

"Kill any?" she asked.

"Yep, three males and two females," he said proudly.

"Really? How can you tell them apart?"

"Easy. Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."


Okay, that was still frivolous. But here's a serious moment...

 Don't you love that face.

 Here's another bit of kid logic.

 

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. 

 

The small boy answered, "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." 

 

The teacher started to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the youngster confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

 Okay, that's enough nonsense for today. 

Let's get to the important stuff...your weekly "aw".

Not only are these two taking a nap while floating on the water, they're also holding hands (paws?). I think that's worth an "aw", don't you?

So, are we there yet? Over the hump and on the way to a glorious weekend? 

Good. Then my work here is done.

I'm getting this post up before bed on Tuesday because I'll be gone all day Wednesdays. This means I'll be a day late getting around to visit everyone, but when your grandson makes the varsity bowling team in his freshman year, and the team is traveling to an all-day District Tournament... you put on your Booster Button and you go.

Have a great weekend.

Thought for the Day:

We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

Hump Day Funnies and More

Happy Hump Day

Hi! How's your week going?  

Need a lift to get you over the hump and on the way to the weekend?

Never fear. I've got a few funnies that should do the trick.

I think we should call this picture "It's Only Fair".

 I love the P.S., don't you?

I bought a power cell recently. You know, an portable battery unit that you charge and take with you to charge other things off of when you don't have access to electricity.  It's a handy device but I'm guessing the manufacturer didn't spend a lot on the interpreter for the text on the box. These are the instructions and safety warnings (typed exactly as on the package):

FEATURES

With many kinds of charging interface accessories can provide the most convenient to you and your friends around.

MATTERS NEEDING ATTENTION

Do not move the power into the fire heating extrusion or unauthorized disassembly.

This product should be kept out of children.

PRODUCT SPECIALITY

This bank power is available for all kind of electronic products which need to charge with USB, such as iphone, ipad, ipod and PSP etc.

NOTICE

Do not beak, dismantle, into put the fire or place in hot and humid area

Keep away from children

Please turn off the power when not in use, in order to avoid continuous power depletion.

 

 I hope I never have to call their tech support.

This one just made me laugh.

I'm going to take a quick break from your hump day funnies to give a shout out to blog friend Liz Fichera. Liz recently revealed the cover and trailer for her book Played, which will be released in May. Take a moment to take a look.  

 

Best of luck with the release, Liz.

This one is in honor of my little Sophie.

It's been a long winter. Already.

What? You thought I forgot your "aw".  

Oh, ye of little faith. I've got a great one for you.

Who needs a blanket? 

Okay, that should do it. I hope you've over the hump and sliding toward a glorious weekend. 

I want to thank all of you who offered prayers for my friend who is seriously ill. Now I'm going to ask for more. He's been in critical condition in intensive care for the past week and has undergone two emergency surgeries. Please continue to pray for him and for his family. Thank you.

Quote of the Day:

Never miss a good chance to shut up. ~ Will Rogers.

 

Snowed In On Hump Day

Happy Hump Day

Oops. I was so busy watching the snow fall and keeping an eye on the closings list last night, I forgot the blogosphere doesn't have snow days.

It looks like everything else around here does. We got about five inches of snow topped by an inch of ice and even the Air Force Base where my hubby works is closed. What used to be a cause of celebration among the school kids is now greeted with groans. All the area schools have used up their allotted "snow days", so days missed now have to be made up.

Actually, having my husband home today will come in handy. Monday afternoon, I was heading to the basement to move a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, and stepped off the stairs into several inches of cold water. The pipe issue has been resolved - the massive clean up of stuff that got wet remains.

But I digress. You're here for your hump day funnies.

Have you ever gotten this Windows error message?

 Um...okay.

 

How about some letters to Dear Abby?

 

Dear Abby, 

 I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby, 
I joined the Navy to see the world.  I've seen it.  Now how do I get out?

 

Dear Abby,
     I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

 

 

I know Abby prides herself on being able to spot a fake letter but I really hope these people were joking. 

 

 

 I love this one at so many levels.

 

In case you can't read it, the sign says:

The vet said I wouldn't live to see 3. Today, I turned 7, so I pooped on my vet's lawn.

PS - I'm wearing an octopus on my head because I can. That's why.

 

 

That would almost qualify as your weekly "aw" but I like this one better.

 

 

 Happiness is a Boxer sandwich.

 

Can't you just feel the love and contentment. 

 

Okay, time for me to get back to work on our soggy basement. 

I hope these funnies got you over the hump and heading for the weekend.

 

I'd like to add one serious note. A friend of mine is seriously ill and in need of prayers. Please take a moment and offer a prayer for him and for his family.  I'm not mentioning names to respect their privacy but God will know. Thank you.

 

Quote for Today: 

Story is to human beings what the pearl is to the oyster. ~ Joseph Gold