Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Mystery Most...Chocolate?


I have a happy to share! I'm delighted to be sharing these pages with so many wonderful authors.

Malice Domestic 14: Mystery Most Edible will be published in May by Wildside Press.

My story, "Sticky Fingers" is a tale of murder, revenge, and...cupcakes!


Speaking of yummy (yes, this is a terrible segue)... You all know I have a grandson serving in the Marine Corps, and being the wonderful Nana that I am, I like to send him care packages. A pretty simple thing, right?

Well, sometimes. A couple weeks ago I started putting together a package. I had all the usual - jerky, peanut butter crackers, microwave mac & cheese, etc. - but I wanted to toss in something special. When he was home at Christmas, he discovered these special chocolate candies he thought were wonderful, so a couple Sunday's ago, I stopped by the fancy chocolate store and bought a half pound. As I was checking out, I mentioned I was mailing them. The clerk expressed concern, telling me their chocolate contained no preservatives and needed to be kept refrigerated.

I spent the better part of the next week trying to decide how to send his care package, which I knew from experience could take anywhere from three to seven days to arrive. I thought of adding a freezer cold pack, wrapped with the chocolates, but finally settled on sending the package - without the chocolate - regular priority mail as I usually did, and then sending the chocolates overnight express.

So I mailed the bulk of his package on Friday and held the chocolates for Monday (his Post Office is closed on the weekend). Then I decided it was a bit of a waste to send just a half pound of chocolates by themselves, so on Sunday I stopped by the chocolate shop again and bought an additional pound.

Just to be certain, I asked the clerk - a different person this time - if the chocolates would be okay being mailed overnight express with a freezer pack to keep them cold. She informed me that, while it's true the chocolates did not contain preservatives, they would be fine unrefrigerated for a week, possibly longer.

But which clerk was correct?

I debated what to do next. Freezer pack? Overnight express? Both? I finally decided to send them overnight express but without the freezer pack since those frozen bricks are quite heavy. After all, how much could a pound and a half of chocolates cost to mail? I wrapped them up and headed to the Post Office on Monday morning.

Would you believe $45.00? For a pound and a half of chocolates? I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend over twice what the chocolates cost just on postage. I said the heck with it and sent them regular priority mail. Maybe I'd get lucky.

Later that day I checked the USPS tracking on the package I'd mailed the previous Friday. It had already been delivered.  Fastest time ever!  Now I'm tracking the chocolates.

They appear to be traveling by sloth.

Guess who is NOT getting a chocolate bunny for Easter.

I've been a little wordy so here's a visual funny.

Oh yeah. Piece of cake.

And, of course, your weekly "aw"...

I know you said it.

How about you? Ever struggled to get something mailed or shipped? Got a good horror story you can share?

See you next Wednesday.

Thought for the Day:

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Random Thoughts and Rolling Eyes

Happy Hump Day

(Two weeks in a row. Can you believe it?)

I tried a different format last time and I think I'll stay with it for now. 

Random thoughts...

On writing -

I read a blog post a while back - I can't remember the author - about the problem of roving body parts in writing. You know the type of thing I mean... "Her eyes traveled around the room." or  "His jaw dropped to the floor."  Yes, we all know it's unlikely a pair of eyeballs were wandering around the room or a jaw actually hit the floor, so these sentences probably need to be re-written.

But the author of this particular post also took exception to the phrase "she rolled her eyes".  I don't agree with that one. The gesture commonly referred to as rolling one's eyes usually includes looking upward and then to the side and possibly down (if added emphasis is needed)...actually using the eye muscles to move the eyeball in its socket. Maybe not a complete roll but at least a partial circle. More importantly, the phrase "rolled her eyes" to describe this gesture is so commonplace it's like using the word "shrug" to describe the quick lifting and lowering of the shoulders. It defines the action and everyone knows what it means.

I know I'm in a minority here but I'm just curious. Does anyone agree that "rolled her eyes" should be removed from the list of roving body part no-nos?

On family -

I'd like to congratulate the Indian Hill High School Braves Wrestling Team on taking first place in the Cincinnati Hills League Championship for the second straight year. 

I especially want to congratulate my grandson Cooper who wrapped up his high school wrestling career this year by winning the CHL individual championship in his weight class, making it into the fourth round at Districts, and compiling a record of 106 wins during his four years as co-captain of the varsity wrestling team. 

 He's already committed to wrestle for Gettysburg College next year.

Am I bragging? Heck, yeah.

Your Happy Hump Day Funny -

During a visit to my doctor I asked, " How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I get it," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No. A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

And, of course, your Aw -

Don't you want to give him a big hug?

That's all for today. If you've made it this far, please take another minute and say hi. It makes my day.

Have a great week.

Words of wisdom for today:

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.