Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Last Hump Day Post of 2013

Happy Hump Day

What was I thinking? I should have known I'd forget to do this post the week before Christmas. I'm always ridiculously behind this time of year.  But I won't leaving you to struggle over the mid-week hump without a few laughs to give you a boost, so here's goes...

This isn't the least bit Christmassy but it cracked me up. 

Look at those faces. Ever felt like that? Come on now, fess up.

While Christmas shopping I ran across some great t-shirts. Here are a few of my favorites.

For the English majors/writers among us:


Prefer Math class to English?

I like this one.

Oh, you're not worried about dragons. How about cats?

Here's one we can all agree on.

How about a visit to our friends the church ladies and their wonderful bloopers.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

I guess you need a pretty envelope. 

This next picture is just so I add in something for Christmas.

Now for your "aw".

This one worked for me even without the words.

Did it work for you?

Okay, that's it. Hope we're all over the hump and heading for the weekend.

This will be my last post until after the holidays so I leave you with my warmest wishes for a

Very Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
and a
Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

Quote for the Day: 

Let there be Peace on Earth and let it begin with me.

(Okay, it's a song lyric, but it works. See you next year.)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

It's a (Mostly) Dog Day

Happy Hump Day

I know we're a week closer to Christmas so I should stay with my Christmas theme of last week but a friend just sent me some great - but not Christmassy - pictures so I'm sharing them instead.

For my friends who are runners.

Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Can you relate to this one?

Yeah, so can I.

I may be pushing it a little with this one but it made me laugh.

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.  One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.  Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said  Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a bit odd, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr.Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

"'s the viewing."

So bad. 
(hee hee hee)

I couldn't decide if this was a funny or an "aw" but I've got another "aw" for you so I'm putting this here.

Be honest - did it make you laugh or "aw"?

It's been a while since we heard from our friends, the church ladies.
How about a couple Church Bulletin Bloopers?

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."  The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for  more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Gotta love those church ladies.

And here's that "aw" I promised you.

You know you said it.

That all for today. Did we do it? Are you over the hump and on the easy slope to the weekend? 
I sure hope so.  Did you have a favorite?

I'm going to be off line today. A good friend and I are doing our annual Christmas shop-till-you-drop. 
But I'll be around to see everyone tomorrow.
Have a good one.

Quote of the Day:

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
 -- Rodney Dangerfield

Friday, December 6, 2013

My Dream Destination

Hi. As I mentioned on Wednesday, I'm doing an extra post this week to take part in this fun blog hop - Dream Destination, hosted by Julie Flanders and Lexa Cain.

Both Julie and Lexa are celebrating release days this week so be sure to stop by and wish them well.

I'm cheating a little on my dream destination. I want to travel not only through space but also through time. Not far, just a month or so back. 

My dream destination is Fenway Park, Boston. Home of my beloved Boston Red Sox. 

 Sure, I've been to Fenway before. I make the pilgrimage from Ohio every few years. But that's where the time travel comes in. 

I want to be there on October 30 for game six of the 2013 World Series.
I want to see the Sox win the Championship at home for the first time in 95 years.

I want to be there for this.

And this.

See that cheering crowd. That's where I want to be.

Okay, can't happen. I know. But this blog hop is all about dreams, right? 
Believe me, I've been there in my dreams.

Now stop by here or here for a complete list of those particiapating in the blog hop and check out some other bloggers' dream destinations.

Do you like mine?

Quote of the Day:

“Fenway is the essence of baseball”  ― Tom Seaver

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Looking Ahead to Christmas on Hump Day.

Happy Hump Day

I don't know about you, but this time of year I'm not trying to get over the midweek hump to get to the weekend faster - I'm trying to stretch the week out as long as possible to get all my Christmas preparations done.

Every year I have great plans to get a jump on things. Shopping in done in October.  Christmas letter and cards started in November. All the decorations up on Thanksgiving weekend.

It's not really my fault. I've been badgering the kids (both generations) to give me their wish lists for weeks. And if I write the Christmas letter too early, something wonderful might happen after I'm done that won't get included.  And, of course, there's that painstaking process of making sure both sons' families get equal space (in pictures and in text) so neither can pull the "you like him best" routine.  Yes, I know they only do it to make me crazy, but it always works.

So since I'm in a Christmas frame of mind, I'm going with a Christmas theme today. Some of these have been making the rounds for years but even so, they still make me laugh. Hopefully, they'll work for you, too.

The Politically Correct Twelve Days

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me...
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. 
[NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.] 
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
THREE deconstructionist poets
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Oh, heck!  Happy Holidays!!!! *
*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

The "enslaved Bovine-Americans" cracked me up.

I think most everyone has seen some version of this video but I still love it. Take a couple minutes and enjoy:
The Silent Monks performing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Running a little long already so how about we just add in a little mischief.  Grab this and go get someone.

Oh, don't worry - I didn't forget your "aw".  In fact, I couldn't decide on one picture today so you get two.

This one just felt Christmassy to me. Must be the lamb.

This one reminded me of all the dogs who have been part of our family, and who made and kept this promise so well. 

By the way, I'll be posting twice this week. I'm joining in Lexa Cain's and Julie Flander's Destination Blog Hop.

My plan is to post on Friday. Please stop by.

Okay, that's it. Hope we got you over the hump - if you were trying to get there - or at least gave you a short break from the holiday stress.  Did you have a favorite?

Quote for Today:

Christmas Shopping: Wouldn't it be wonderful to find one gift that you didn't have to dust, that had to be used right away, that was practical, fit everyone, was personal and would be remembered for a long time? I penciled in "Gift certificate for a flu shot."  ~ Erma Bombeck