Showing posts with label Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Release day for Busted! and Your Quiz Answers


Happy Hump Day

I know you're waiting for the answers to last week's quiz but before we get to that I have to mention that yesterday was RELEASE DAY.



Busted! Arresting Stories from the Beat is now available in print or ebook.  
This anthology of crime fiction contains 31 great stories, including my "Annie Get Your Goat".

Here's a tiny excerpt:

“McCullough!” Duke’s voice exploded in the quiet of the hospital. “That bastard stole my goat.”

Now he rounded on me.

“You. You’re one of Sheriff Block’s, right? Why are you just standing around here? That son of a bitch Chet McCullough stole my Gertrude.”

I pulled myself up to my full five foot two and tried to look official, if not formidable. “Deputy Anna Lopez, Mr. Stamper. I was questioning Mr. Tate when you arrived. Trying to find out what happened.”

“I just told you what happened. Chet McCullough attacked Sean so he could steal Gertrude. Oh God…unless he killed her. I wouldn’t put it past the son of a bitch.” He did a quick pivot toward the door then turned back to me. “I’m going home to search for Gertrude. You tell Sheriff Block I want him at my place. Himself. Not some little…deputy.”

I was lucky that Duke stormed out of the room before I could answer. My quick tongue has gotten me into trouble before.



Okay, now what you've all been waiting for...quiz answers!

No one got them all but most of you got a few. You were great on punctuation marks and things worn on the feet that begin with S.  

Here are the answers I received with the quiz.


1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls ... The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. 


I did a major head slap over number 8. How about you?
Did any surprise you?

Okay, you can rest your brains.
Here's today's funny.

A married couple was working opposite shifts - her days, him nights - so their only time together was on the weekend. But living in a small apartment with a curious eight year old didn't leave them with a lot of opportunity for...um, private time. The only way they could manage a Sunday afternoon "quickie" was to send the boy out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his running commentary as his parents put their plan into action.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.  
"And an ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company."
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving."
"Jason's riding his skate board in the street again."

And then, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, Mom and Dad shot up in bed.  Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
 
 

Never underestimate an eight year old.


I had a problem with this week's "aw".
I couldn't decide between these two.
Will you help me out? 

This one got me because of how these friends were making it work, 
even if they were close to the same size. 


You have to appreciate that kind of devotion.


This one was all about expressions.
Look at those eyes.


So, what do you think...
was there an "aw" in there somewhere?
Which one worked for you? 


I've had some personal "aw"s going on the last week. My two oldest grandchildren are graduating from high school next month, so we're going through a lot of "last time"s.  My grandson's senior prom was Friday and I attended my granddaughter's final orchestra concert last night. The next month is going to hold a lot of those. When I went through the empty nest thing with my own kids, I had no idea it's even harder with the grandkids.


But I think it will be a little easier if I share a few pictures as we go.

My granddaughter, the cellist. 

 She's really quite good.
I'll miss listening to her play.



Last prom

The tall one is mine and, no, that's not his date. 
These two have been best friends since they were little. 
When they graduate, their lives will be taking very different paths.

And just so I don't disappoint the romantics out there.


My grandson and his date. 
Hmm. That's almost worth an "aw".


Okay. I do feel a little better. Thanks for letting me share. 

How about you?  Are you over the hump?  I didn't have a lot of funnies for you this week. Double-dose next time. I promise. 

Thought for Today:

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A New Anthology and Some Hump Day Funnies

Happy Hump Day.

It's been an exciting spring for me with the recent release of two anthologies containing stories of mine, Still Me After All These Years and Fish Out of Water - A Guppy Anthology, and two more on the way. Plus, this weekend I received word that another story has been accepted for an anthology scheduled for release in the fall. I seem to be on a roll.
(Major happy dance going on over here.)

Coming up next is Busted! Arresting Stories From the Beat, which will include my short mystery "Annie Get Your Goat." Busted! is being released by Level Best Books on April 25, 2017. Again, I'm in great company. Check out this list of terrific authors and stories:


  • “Justice Due” by Jack Bates
  • “Thicker than Water” by Micki Browning
  • “No Mulligans” by Leone Ciporin
  • “Bygones” by Bruce Robert Coffin
  • “Last Call for Buffalo” by Randall DeWitt
  • “Fall in New Hampshire” by Sharon Daynard
  • “Most Evil” by Peter DiChellis
  • “Bad Friday” by Martin Edwards
  • “Deadly Discovery in Dallas” by Sanford Emerson
  • “The Woman in White” by Tracy Falenwolfe
  • “Ida Mae Buys a Crown Vic” by Kate Flora
  • “Get Along Little Dogie” by CC Guthrie
  • “The Letters of Patrick Bushell” by Gavin Keenan
  • “Afternoon Delight” by Steve Liskow
  • “The Program” by Cyndy Edwards Lively
  • “Becky’s File” by Ruth McCarty
  • “The Drive By” by Alison McMahan
  • “Annie Get Your Goat” by LD Masterson
  • “Chains” by Claire Murray
  • “Christmas Shift” by Dale Phillips
  • “Truth, Grace and Lies” by Adele Polomski
  • “The Cattle Raid of Adams” by Keenan Powell
  • “Goldie” by KM Rockwood
  • “The Owl and the Pussycats” by Verena Rose
  • “The Runner” by Steve Roy
  • “No Safe Place” by Harriette Sackler
  • “The Man Who Wasn’t Missing” by Brenda Seabrooke
  • “Play Dead” by Shawn Reilly Simmons
  • “Sensitivity Training” by Albert Tucher
  • “Pet Peeve” by Kari Wainwright
  • “Burning Bright” by Vicki Weisfeld

 I can't wait to read this one. 

But it's hump day and I know what you're here for so... 
here's a hump day funny for you.


Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. 

He got an A.


Well, what grade would you have given him?

Remember those crazy newspaper clippings
from last week?
How about a desk calendar?


 Ya think?

 Here's an interesting item.

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

 I'll admit it. That one cracked me up.

Okay, I have a challenge for you.
Look at this week's "aw" picture,
and try not to say "aw".


 Betcha couldn't do it.


That's it for today. Are you there? Over the midweek hump and sailing toward the weekend?
Good! Then my work here is done. Did you have a favorite?

Have a fabulous week/weekend. See you next Wednesday.

Common Sense Tip of the Day:

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.