Cover Reveal for Fish Out of Water and Happy Hump Day

Happy Hump Day

I do have some hump day funnies for you, but first...

Check out this cover for the latest Guppy anthology:  

Fish Out of Water.

The Guppies, if you don't know, are an online chapter of Sisters in Crime. Fish out of Water is the fourth Guppy Anthology and, if the previous books are any indication, it's going to be packed with great stories.

Oh, did I mention that includes my own "Of Roosters and Men."

Fish Out of Water is scheduled for release in early April. I'll post more information as it becomes available.

Now for a hump day funny...

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

     
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives." 

Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"   

Oh, that was so bad. 

(I'm sorry.)

But here's something good. 

Still Me..After All These Years is now available. 

You can order the e-book or paperback at these sites. 

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/still-me-after-all-these-years

Barnes and Noble/nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/still-meafter-all-these-years-karen-helene-walker/1125893734?ean=2940157330347

Ibooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/genre/books-biographies-memoirs/id9008?mt=11&letter=S&page=6#page

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Still-After-All-These-Years/dp/1542894352/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1488925841&sr=8-1

If you'd like to be part of the blog tour for Still Me, sign up here.

Here's another funny... 

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.  
Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?"  
The Lord replies, "A minute."  
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"  
The Lord replies, "A penny."  
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"  
The Lord replies, "In a minute."   

I can't help it. I liked that one.

Here's a quick head-scratcher for you.

While you ponder that, here's your "aw". 

Just a little Mama love.

That's all for today. Do you like the cover? Laugh at the funnies? "Aw" at the...um,"aw"?

Have a great week.

Strange Thought for Today: 

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.

Now I don't know what to feed it.

Still Me...After All These Years - Cover Reveal

I've been having a lot of fun the last few months writing mystery short stories - some light, some dark - and several have found homes in various anthologies. But I also tried something a little different, a personal essay...on aging, a topic I'm becoming all too familiar with. 

My essay "On Dreams, Appetites and Possibilities" will be included in the anthology Still Me... After All These Years, along with stories by twenty-three wonderful authors. Still Me was conceived by author and blog friend Karen Helene Walker who collected these stories and put it all together. I'm very grateful to be part of this exciting project.

Don't you love the cover?

Here's the blurb:

Poignant...Humorous...Brutally Honest!

A collection of personal reflections guaranteed to keep you inspired and entertained on that journey we all travel together: The Journey of Aging

With a blend of grace, dignity, warmth and humor, women and men from 60 to 90 and from all walks of life candidly share the blessings and pitfalls of aging – from keeping dreams alive and keeping sex lives active to dealing with retirement, loss of independence and a growing sense of mortality.

A BOOK ABOUT LIVING EVERY MOMENT OF LIFE!

 
The release date is scheduled for April 4, 2017 but the e-book version is available here for pre-order now with print version to follow.

And it's still hump day so here's a hump day funny for you. The following are signs that were spotted all across the country. Some you might have to give a second thought.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

In a New York drugstore: We dispense with accuracy.

In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center

On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

At a number of military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel. (Note: I've seen one of these!)
 
In a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

 Um...how's that again?

Okay, time for your weekly "aw".

Just a couple of friends...

 Does that qualify as dancing cheek to cheek?

That's it for today. Hope you found enough chuckles in here to get you over the midweek hump and coasting to the weekend.  

Watch for more news on Still Me...After All These Years as we get closer to the release date.

Quote for Today:

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

Crystal Collier's TIMELESS - Cover Reveal

In my very late post on Friday, I told you I'd have a special post today and here it is. Check out the cover reveal of my good friend Crystal Collier. And don't miss the giveaway.

TIMELESS (#3 Maiden of Time) by Crystal Collier #CoverReveal

Book Title: TIMELESS (Maiden of Time #3)

Author: Crystal Collier

Genre: YA Paranormal Historical

Release Date: November 1, 2016

TIME IS THE ENEMY

In 1771, Alexia had everything: the man of her dreams, reconciliation with her father, even a child on the way. But she was never meant to stay. It broke her heart, but Alexia heeded destiny and traveled five hundred years back to stop the Soulless from becoming.

In the thirteenth century, the Holy Roman Church has ordered the Knights Templar to exterminate the Passionate, her bloodline. As Alexia fights this new threats, along with an unfathomable evil and her own heart, the Soulless genesis nears. But none of her hard-won battles may matter if she dies in childbirth before completing her mission.

Can Alexia escape her own clock?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Crystal Collier is an eclectic author who pens clean fantasy/sci-fi, historical, and romance stories with the occasional touch of humor, horror, or inspiration. She practices her brother-induced ninja skills while teaching children or madly typing about fantastic and impossible creatures. She has lived from coast to coast and now calls Florida home with her creative husband, four littles, and friend (a.k.a. the zombie locked in her closet). Secretly, she dreams of world domination and a bottomless supply of cheese. You can find her on her Blog, Facebook, Goodreads, or follow her on Twitter.

Want the first chapter free? 

Sign up HERE.

Fair warning - if you read the first chapter of TIMELESS, plan on reading the whole story because I can guarantee, you won't be able to stop there.

I'll be back with your funnies later this week. See you then.

Quote for Today:

“Time is the longest distance between two places.”
― Tennessee Williams, The Glass Menagerie