Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Lucy, You Got Some 'Splaining To Do

Happy Hump Day.

Ever have one of those day were things just went wrong? 
And even worse was having to explain to your boss/spouse/customer what happened.

Wouldn't you love to hear the explanations that went with these?

"I'm going to be a little late for the funeral. Why? Well, you see..."

"Um, Boss, I had a slight problem with the delivery..."

"Sweetheart, I picked up that paint at the store so you wouldn't have to. But the funniest thing happened..."

"This is Ajax Cement Company. Are you the owner of a gray..."

How about these cases of foot in mouth disease?

In a seminar for wives on keeping a loving relationship with their husband, the women were told to take out their cell phones and text to their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."  They were then instructed to share the text message they received in response.

I'd love to hear the husbands trying to explain away these replies? 

1. Who is this?

2. Did you crash the car again?
3. How much you need?
4. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
5. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?

This next one is your public service announcement for today.

This is from an interview Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky on her 101st birstday.

Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?

Hattie: For better digestion, I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine. For low blood pressure, I drink red wine. For high blood pressure, I drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink Schnapps.

Reporter: When do you drink water?

Hattie: I've never been that sick.

There you have it. The secret to long life.
(Never say this isn't an informational blog.)

I usually try to avoid captioned pictures for your weekly "aw". I think the picture alone should be enough. But this one...well, haven't we all felt this way?

Kinda ties back to the pictures above.

And there you have it. Your hump day funnies for this week.
Did they work? Are you over the hump?

Did you have a favorite?
(Are any of you so young you don't know where the title of this post comes from?)

Have a great day/week/weekend!
See you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today: 

"We don't see things the way they are. We see them the way we are."


Stacy McKitrick said...

Funny, funny!

I don't think I WANT to know if there are people who don't know where that phrase came from. I feel old enough.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Those husband responses are funny. I would probably respond the same way if my husband send such a text to me.

LD Masterson said...

Stacy - Guess how I felt when I was buying a Beatle CD last year and the teeny-bopper at the register asked me if they were a new group.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Those husband responses are just priceless! That would be a fun party game.

Crystal Collier said...

Oh man! Those images are almost painful. The paint one makes me want to actually break out some rags and go to work. How many times have I faced a mess like that? I don't even want to count. ;)

Weaver said...

It's all relative. Thanks for the reminder.

Murees Dupè said...

Hattie sounds like a smart woman. I like her style. I laughed really loud this week. Thank you for that.

LD Masterson said...

Susan G/K - I know. I'd probably say, "yeah, yeah, what do you need?"

Elizabeth - I think I'd be afraid to host that one.

Crystal - Please tell me you never dumped a can of paint in your car.

Donna - And thank you for stopping by.

Murees - My pleasure.

Maryannwrites said...

Love Hattie. She is my kind of lady. Thanks for the chuckles.

mshatch said...

Those responses from the husbands are pretty funny. And oh boy, I'd hate to be the guy whose deliver went into the drink. He doesn't look too happy.

Kristin Smith said...

Haha! I love the husband/wife ones. Of course the husbands would think something bad happened or that the wife needs money. Hehe.

farawayeyes said...

First - I know 'xactly where your title comes from.

Second - On Monday, I felt 'xactly like that 'big' puppy.

Finally, Your thought for the day is totally appropriate, at least for me.

Thanks, I needed this today.

Unknown said...

Awesome! I look forward to Wednesdays because of your posts.

Carol Kilgore said...

I love Hattie Mae!
And the wannabe puppy ♥

Kaye George said...

Can't pick a favorite!

Cathy Kennedy said...

Oh these are good. I, especially thought the interview with the 101 year old woman was funny, but the husbands' responses were pretty good. The first reply, "Who is this?" Reminds of something my DH told me. His partner in crime at work has the ringtone, IT'S THE WIFE, every time it rings, he'll answer, Who is this? lol I think that's so funny. Oh well...thanks for the giggles to warm me on a cold winter day. Have an nice week, what's left of it! ;)
PS: I do a Sunday Sillies post. Feel free to drop in on me.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Cute pup.
The spilled paint can makes me cringe.
Sorry I'm late. Your post just appeared in my reader this morning.

Jemi Fraser said...

Those are awesome! Love the responses from the husbands :)

Linda G. said...

Aww. Cute doggie. And funny funnies. Yep, definitely over the hump now. :)

LD Masterson said...

Maryann - My pleasure, as always.

mshatch - It was the paint in the car that really got me, because I imagine that happening to me.

Kristin - Mine would figure I want him to run an errand for me. Cuz I usually do.

farawayeyes - Well, I'm glad I could deliver.

Clarissa - Thank you! That makes my day.

Carol - I really understand the wannabe puppy.

Kaye - I hope that means you liked them all. *grin*

Maria Zannini said...

I can't decide which of the first four pictures is the most painful, but the dog photo was the sweetest.

Iko does this sometimes. He forgets he's 115 pounds of puppy.

LD Masterson said...

Cathy - Thanks. I popped over and catch your last Sunday post. Very cute.

Alex - I'm happy to have you come by any time.

Jemi - Glad you liked them.

Linda G. - Well, that's what I'm here for.

Maria - But he's still a little puppy on the inside.

Julie Flanders said...

They worked for me and I'm over the hump. I totally cringed at the paint because I can easily see that happening to me! I am planning a painting project for the spring and I know I will think of this when I go get the paint cans LOL.

Anonymous said...

Driving on the interstate in Alabama once, late at night, I saw a car that had been stopped by the police. It was going the wrong way on an exit ramp (i.e., it was coming UP the exit ramp). The driver was standing outside the car. He was only wearing underwear. I really, really wanted to know the story behind that.

LD Masterson said...

Julie - That's a good thing. You'll be doubly sure those lids are on tight.

Deanne - Oh, me too.

Empty Nest Insider said...

Great photos! My favorite is the casket falling out of the hearse! I love the Hattie story! It's so true how some people won't drink water even if they're dehydrated. I've had this argument with my mom several times.

Julie said...

Aw. If I had a little comfy chair like that to curl up in, I'd be happy.

Thank you, LD. Keep a smile.

Karen Lange said...

They did work; you made me laugh. :) Thanks for the chuckles. One thing I am thankful for is that I've never had to text my husband any pictures like those. :) Happy weekend!

Arlee Bird said...

So many good ones in this post it's hard to pick just one, but drinking granny does win me over. I'd like to be so drunk, er, I mean "healthy" when I get that old. Come to think of it maybe I'd better start drinking so I make it that far.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out

L. Diane Wolfe said...

If I texted that to my husband, he'd reply with an "I love you, too." Maybe those women need to tell their husbands that more often.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I LOVE the husband replies to the "I love you" texts. Come to think of it, my hubby would probably respond with a "who IS this?"... especially since I don't have a cellphone...

You've gotta love that old gal's attitude, but it would be ill-advised for anyone to ever hit her in the liver. Might break a hand.

I love the German shepherd pic, too. Yeah, I think we've all felt like that at times.

Happy weekend!

~Sia McKye~ said...

Oh those pictures...they made me laugh to even begin to explain.

My favorite was the husband reponses, lol!

And yes, I think their are days I'd love to be in my *puppy* stage.

Thanks for the laughter.

Sia McKye Over Coffee

LD Masterson said...

Julie - I did one of those 80 oz. of water a day diets and actually developed a taste to the stuff. Now it's my cold beverage of choice. How strange it that?

Robyn - It think he'd have liked it a little bigger. And thanks.

Karen - You're welcome. And happy weekend to you, too.

Lee - Might as well start. No point taking any chances.

Diane - My husband would probably say he loved me too. And then he'd ask "What do you need?" *grin*

Susan F/S - Whoa! You don't have a cell phone? Lord, mine is attached by an umbilical cord. (Yeah, I did wonder about her liver.)

LD Masterson said...

Oops, sorry, Sia. Your comment came in while I was answering the others. Glad you enjoyed. I always love sharing the laughter.

Tara Tyler said...

pics like those put my problems into perspective!
thanks for the laughs & realitycheck
wish i was a puppy again too

LD Masterson said...

Tara - Yup, they made my little problems look a lot smaller, too.

Unknown said...

Oh, no! Look at all those disasters. I feel sorry for them. Funny about the "I love you" texts. My hubby would think something was wrong, too. Loved the "aw" pic! What a cute (big) dog! Thanks for the laughs - you rock!!

Mike Keyton said...

My favourite 'aunt' on my wife's side is 97 and bursting with life. Her secret is Baileys poured over her cornflakes instead of milk. Go on try it. You know you want to ; )

Kaye George said...

Whoa! I just might.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I definitely know who's talking to Lucy in your title! That was one of the best sitcoms ever to be on TV.

DL Hammons said...

Trying to imagine how I would have responded had my wife texted me like that. Not sure it would have been safe for public consumption. :)

PS. I have problems losing comments as well. Tip. Get in a habit of copying your comment after typing. Has something to do with checking off which identity you are using ... and you should do that first before commenting.

Mark Koopmans said...

Oh my... When I saw the coffin picture, I really did laugh out loud.. and then I felt guilty :)

Thanks for sharing all these tidbits of info.. and when I grow up, I want to live to be 101, too :)

LD Masterson said...

Lexa - Wow. Thank you!

Mike - Wonder if it's as good on corn flakes as it is on ice cream.

Kaye - I'm guessing you're responding to Mike's comment. Go for it.

Patricia - Yeah, it really was.

DL - That bad, huh? (I usually don't have an identity crisis on Blogger but I'll keep an eye open. Thanks.)

Mark - I laugh at things all the time then feel guilty. Human nature, I guess.

Heather R. Holden said...

Those texts from the husbands...oh, gosh. Too priceless. XD

Also, loving this week's "aw"! So, so precious...

(Love the post title, btw. Shame on anyone who doesn't get the reference!)

LD Masterson said...

Heather - If anyone didn't get the title reference, I don't think they admitted it. We love Lucy.

Cate Masters said...

Those are some big oops! :)

Al Diaz said...

OMG with that Shepard! So cute. :D

I really wouldn't want to be the owner of the gray car or the one carrying the paint. Ouch!

Sherry Ellis said...

Those are all hilarious! The old lady one really cracks me up.

Scribbles From Jenn said...

Oh, my! Those are some doosies! I can't pick out which one is worse. Sometimes I want to be a puppy, too. Love the quote!

LD Masterson said...

Cate - Indeed.

Al - I'm with you. A nightmare on wheels.

Sherry - Oh, you mean my PSA. *grin*

Jenn - I think we all get that puppy urge sometime.

And as I write this, I noticed this comment will make 50 for this post, something that rarely happens for me. Thanks so much to everyone who stopped to say hi.