Battling Church Signs and Other Hump Day Nonsense

Happy Hump Day.

I'm going to do something different this week. Your first funny of the day is a series of battling church signs. 

Now before anyone takes offense, I know these aren't real and they aren't meant to reflect the actual beliefs of any particular faith. They're just for fun, okay?

 

Personally, I would love to believe these were actual signs but my son was quick to point out they were obviously Photoshopped. I don't care, they still made me laugh.

How about a little old lady joke?

(You know why I claim the right to tell these.)

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Trooper saw a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. Knowing a car going that slowly could be just as dangerous as a speeder, he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. As he approached the car, he noticed there were five old ladies - two in the front and three in the back of the car - wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver was obviously confused. "Officer, I don`t understand, I know I wasn't speeding. What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma`am, you weren`t speeding, but driving significantly slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly -- twenty-two miles an hour."

The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

"Oh dear," she replied, "that's right. Thank you. I see the difference now."

"Well, I'm going to let you go this time," the officer said, "but I have to ask...is everyone okay?  These women seem awfully shaken up."

"Oh, they`ll be fine in a minute, Officer. We just got off Route 119."

I didn't get a picture of that lady with her friends but I did get this one of her with her dog.

I think she's on Route 119 again.

Okay, the church signs ran this post a bit longer than usual so I'm jumping straight to your "aw".

There's nothing like sharing a nap with your best friend.

Aw, come on. You know you said it.

I want to take a second and thank my blog friend Alex Cavanaugh, the Ninja Captain, who gave this blog a very nice mention in his post yesterday.  He also referred to me as "someone with a pure heart", quite the nicest compliment I can think of.  Thank you, Alex.

If you don't follow Alex's blog (is there anyone who doesn't follow Alex's blog), you really should stop by. Especially now during the A-Z Challenge.

 Okay, are we there? Over the mid-week hump?

Oh, yeah - we're sailing toward the weekend!

Have a great one and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Hump Day Funnies from Across the Pond

Happy Hump Day

First I want to say thanks again to the Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh for hosting the Top Ten Favorite Movies blogfest on Monday.  It was the most fun I've had on a blogfest, not to mention getting some great tips on movies I haven't seen yet. 

I was determined to visit all 180+ participants which I completed just after 3:00 this morning (which explains the late hour of this post).  I will admit I skipped commenting on a couple toward the end if the movies listed where so foreign to me I couldn't come up with anything to say, but I commented on most. And I received comments from close to sixty bloggers - a new high for me.

If you were kind enough to "Follow" my blog (thank you!) and I haven't returned the favor yet, I'll be getting back to you soon.

Oh, if you missed my top ten movie picks, you can see them here.

So on to our hump day funnies.

Last week I let the lovely church ladies get us over the mid-week hump. This week I'm letting my family and friends across the pond do the trick.

Little snippets from British Newspapers

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)  

[This one cracked me up.  LD]

At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)

Now for your hump day "aw"..

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Did that do it?

Any favorites today?

Okay, hopefully I've got you over the mid week hump and coasting to Friday.

Speaking of Friday...I sort of overspent my allotted blogging time checking out everyone's favorite movies so I'm going to take Friday off. See you all on Monday.

Groaner for Today:

Two men walked into a bar.

You’d think the second one would have seen it.