Showing posts with label New Zenith Magazine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Zenith Magazine. Show all posts

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Veterans, Marine Birthdays, Tweets, Publications, and Funnies. Whew!

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day and, as always, I want to recognize those in my family who served their country so faithfully. 

WWII

My uncle George Masterson, US Army  
My uncle Leslie Masterson, US Army
My father Frank Masterson, US Army Air Corps

Korean War

My uncle William Masterson, US Army

Vietnam War

My cousin John Masterson, US Army
My brother Frank L. Masterson, US Army

My husband Stanley A. Leszczuk, US Air Force, ret. (20 years) 
 
By the grace of God, all of them came home,
 although some carried wounds that never completely healed. 

But today is also a special day in the military. It's the 241st birthday of the United States Marine Corps. I've never paid a lot of attention to the Marines. As you probably noticed, our family was Army and Air Force. Until this summer when my eldest grandson Drake enlisted in the Corps (deferred duty until he graduates from high school).




Drake graduates at the end of May and reports for boot camp the following week. I am extremely proud of him (and a little bit terrified). 
Happy Birthday to the United States Marines. Oorah.

If you check out my sidebars (go up a little), you may notice a couple additions. First, I've become a tweeter. Or whatever you call people on Twitter. I'm just getting started and still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to keep up with that steady flow of tweets. #overwhelming  If anyone has a tip or two, please share. And I'd really appreciate it if you'd follow me on Twitter to help me get started. I'll return the favor, of course. I'm @LD_Masterson. 

Now to the right, you'll see a link to New Zenith Magazine's Fall Issue. If you were happen to purchase New Zenith's Fall Issue and turn to page 44, you would find the fantasy short story "The Dragon" by yours truly. New Zenith Magazine is a relatively new publication but they put together an interesting assortment of stories, poetry, and art. Something for everyone. Check it out. 

Okay, you've been patient long enough. Here's your first funny.

A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I can, what’s the name and room number?”

The old lady in her weak voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.”

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, “Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.”

The old lady said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me sh*t.”


You remember why I can tell little old lady jokes, right?

I have been trying to lose weight. Think this would work?


Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Running a little long today so let's get to your "aw".





The eyes. Oh, look at those eyes. 


That's all for today.  A little short on the funnies but I hope I gave you a giggle and an aw.

Do you have a special veteran you'll be thinking of tomorrow? 

By the way, thanks for all those great captions for Buster's picture last week. I do have a prize to give.  I tossed the names of everyone who offered a caption into a hat and did a blind draw. I know, I have to learn to use the electronic winner picker.  And the winner is (drum roll please)...Mason Canyon.

Mason gets a digital copy of New Zenith Magazine's Fall Issue. 

Mason, will you email me at lin[at]ldmasterson[dot]com to receive your prize?

Thanks, everyone. See you next week.

Thought for Today:

When you're feeling insecure, remember - you're comparing your ordinary days to everyone else's highlight reel.  (Or Christmas letter.)


Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Patchwork and Stopgap and Makeshift, Oh My!

Hi. As I mentioned last week and the one before, I'm juggling a bunch of upgrades. I've got a new PC with a newer operation system (Windows 7) and I'm trying to convert to later versions of most of my software.  I also want to launch a new website which would include my blog, and make a decision about "branding."

I'm making progress. We're talking about a pace somewhere between snail and sloth, but still moving forward. Unfortunately, the world isn't waiting for me to catch up so this week I've been doing patch work. You know, spreading a little fresh asphalt on the pot holes until I can re-pave the road.

Did you notice I played with the layout of this blog page? For one thing, I moved the "About Me"  a little closer to the lead and changed the text. I've decided - my love of gruesome murders aside - that I like making my blog buddies laugh. So for now, I'll be going back to funnies. I just need to settle on a schedule.

I also gave my website a little once over. It's still "homegrown" and I know it looks it but if you want to pop over and check it out, I'd appreciate your feedback on what, if any, of the content I should keep in the new site. You'll probably need to view it on your computer. I haven't figured out how to make it behave on mobile devices (looks great on my phone, overlapping text on my grandson's).

I don't feel too bad about the mobile device formatting issue because I happen to know New Zenith Magazine was having the same problem with their splash screen. Looks great on a PC though. Don't you love the cover?

http://newzenithmagazine.com/

Why am I talking about New Zenith Magazine, you ask? Well, in addition to their just-released first digital issue (print version to follow), NZM offers a mini-web issue for free. You can check it out here. And if you do, you'll discover the second story from the top is "The Mark" by yours truly. I hope you'll give it a look.

Okay, this post is running way too long so here's one funny to hold you over until next time.

A police officer called the station on his radio.

He said, "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

The station responded, "Have you arrested the woman?"

He answered, "Not yet. The floor's still wet."


Well, would you risk it?


And how about an "aw" for these good buddies?







Now this is a little embarrassing since I'm just getting back to blogging, but I'm not going to be posting next week. On Thursday, I'm leaving for the Killer Nashville mystery writers' conference. I've done this one before and it's great. But as soon as I get home from Nashville, I'm leaving for West Virginia with our church's Disaster Recovery Team to help with the re-building after last spring's floods. So please look for me the week of the 29th. I'll have some funnies for you, I promise.



Thought for Today:


P.S. I loved that so many of you jumped right in last week on "Jeremiah was a bullfrog..."