Without Rhyme or Reason

Happy Hump Day

I'm not happy this morning. I have to break in a new baby doctor. No, not that kind of baby doctor (heaven forbid!). 

I should explain. Last fall, my family doctor, who'd been taking care of me for 35 years, was killed in an accident. When I got past grieving for the loss of this wonderful man, I realized I had to find a new doctor.  I put off the search for several months and when I finally started looking, I discovered our area is experiencing a shortage of doctors in family practice, so much so that no one is taking new patients. Except this one practice who just added a new doctor to their staff. The emphasis on "new". I'm talking fresh out of residency, ink barely dry on his license new. I've seen his picture. He looks younger than my grandson. He's a baby!

I hate going to a new doctor.

Okay, moving on...

If you're hunting for the theme in this post, good luck. I couldn't find it either.  Instead you're getting a random assortment of things that made me laugh. Or at least chuckle.

But not giggle. I don't believing in giggling. It's undignified.

This first picture is an actual screen shot of my phone's weather app taken yesterday.

Either it was really, really cold or my phone is having a nervous breakdown.

(It's better now.)

You know what's fun to do in bad weather? Sit around and think up ways to make people crazy.

Like these...

I like number two.

A friend told me this little story the other day.

I went over to the local gun shop the other day to get a small 9mm for home protection.   

When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." 

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. 

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!! 

 I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. 

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.  

 I still don't think I looked that bad..................................... 

That was NOT me.

You know I can't do a hump day post without at least one funny pet photo.

I understood this completely. Not too fond of spiders myself.

Hey, did you realize Lent begins today. I always try to do something to improve myself during Lent. Like exercise. I've got a great plan if you'd like to try it. 

 LD's Super Exercise Plan

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

3. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bag.

4. Then try 50-lb potato bag and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level)

5. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato into each bag.

Hee hee hee.

(You saw that coming, didn't you?)

Time for your "aw".

I'm going traditional with this one - dog and baby.

But look at that face.

Come on, you know you said it.

That's it for today.  Are we there? Over the hump?

Excellent.

Did you have a favorite?

As I mentioned, I'm going to be off breaking down...er, in the new baby doctor this morning so I won't get around to visit anyone till later.

Wish me luck.

Have a great week and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

My younger grandson turned 14 on Monday. The family had plans to go out for dinner but there was this big snowstorm so they stay home, ate in, and retired to the hot tub on their back deck. I've done the "hot tub with snow falling" bit and it's really quite nice. My grandson, on the other hand, decided it would be more fun to jump out of the tub, race around the yard in his swimsuit, and flop into the snow making snow angels.

Oh, to be young and stupid again.

(Happy Birthday, Cooper.)

It's Hump Day? Already?!?

Oh my gosh... it's Wednesday? Seriously?

I'm a little behind getting started on the new year. 

It's not exactly my fault. Instead of spending a nice relaxing week at home between Christmas and New Year, on the day after Christmas my hubby and I boarded a bus for a five day trip to Disney World with our grandson's high school music groups (band, orchestra, and choir). We'd chaperoned trips like these when our sons were in high school and remembered them as fun excursions with a great bunch of kids. Well, the great bunch of kids part was still the same but we didn't account for the twenty plus years of aging we'd done since then. My arthritic knees alone did me in. By the time we recovered from our fun excursion, we'd totally missed New Year's and still had to "take down" Christmas.

Then, just as I was getting ready for things to return to normal - adults going back to work, kids back to school - the cold wave hit. Our low on Monday was -14. I think the high was -6.  I don't even want to talk about the wind chill.  Schools were closed. The AF Base where hubby works was closed.  Instead of the first "normal" week of the new year, we were still on Christmas break. The kids still are (schools are closed again today).

So, I'll admit it. The first hump day of the new year caught me completely unprepared. But let's see what I can come up with for you...

In keeping with our weather, here's a news bulletin:

The federal government has issued a travel warning to seniors due to the cold weather...

Anyone traveling in the current blizzard conditions should carry the following:

Shovel 
Blankets or sleeping bag 
Extra clothing, including hat and gloves
24 hours' worth of food 
De-icer 
Rock salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road flares or reflective triangles 
Full spare gas can

First aid kit
Booster cables

I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning!

I forgot to ask...did you have a good New Year's Eve? As good as these guys?

Speaking of New Year's Eve...

With the Holidays celebrations here, I must share a personal experience with you, my family and friends, about drinking and driving.

As you know, at this time of year, many of us tend to celebrate from time to time with a "social session" out with friends.   Well, two weeks ago, I was out for an evening with the guys and had several beers followed by some vodka & soda. Feeling very happy, I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something that I've never done before ----- I took a cab home.

Sure enough, on the way home, there was a police check point, but since it was a cab, they waved it past.   I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.

  

Um, I hope you didn't have that good a time.

 

I do have a cold weather tip for you.  Extra socks at night. Really, they make all the difference.

 

I've got something a little different for your "aw" today. Maybe it's a leftover from being at Disney World and seeing Mickey but I thought this little guy was worth an "aw".

 

What do you think?

 

Well, that's it. Did we do it? Are you over the hump? Sliding toward Friday? Excellent.

And so starts a great new year. 

 

Question for Today:

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?