Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Hump Day Funnies and Funny Seniors

Happy Hump Day

Someone commented last week that these hump day posts are just as good on Thursday or even Friday. I hope that's true because this one's going up pretty late on hump day.

I grabbed this picture for a friend of mine who just had her first son - a beautiful little boy.

Now to the other end of the age spectrum...
Do you know no one believes seniors?  Nope, everyone thinks they're senile.
Case in point:

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." 

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We’ve got to give it back." 

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. 

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" 

Sally said, "No." 

Andy said, "She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic." 

Sally said, "Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile."

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. "Tell us the story from the beginning." 

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..."

 The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "That's it. We’re outta here."

I love that. And I've got enough gray hair to pull it off. 
Now if I could just find a bag of money.

This picture just made me laugh.  

In case the font is too small to read, the heading says:
"Understanding Women" is now available in paperback.


 So true.

Okay, one more joke. Staying with the battle of the sexes.

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over two months."

 Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over..............women like that are hard to find."

And I wouldn't forget your "aw". Got a sure-fire one for you today.

Who could resist those eyes?
You know you said it.

Okay, that's it for today. Did we make it? 
Are you over the hump and coasting to the weekend? 
Great. My job here is done.

Have a fantastic weekend and I'll see you on Monday.

Happy Halloween.

Thought for the Day:

Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes age comes alone.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey, they get to keep the money now at least!
And are you sure those aren't the Cliff notes of that book?

Stacy McKitrick said...

Loved the story. Yeah, I can see getting away with soooo much when I'm older (and I'm not there yet!).

Maryannwrites said...

Loved the jokes and the pictures. Also read the thought for the day several times. Good message.

Robin said...

Sometimes age comes alone. Hahahaha.

Great Hump Day post with an excellent "awww."

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I think that picture of the book in the Obamacare law.
Age definitely came alone.

mshatch said...

Ha! Love that last one and your aw is sweet :)

Maria Zannini said...

Every time I see that first picture, I laugh.

Then I'm thankful I didn't have children. LOL. Husbands are enough of a handful.

farawayeyes said...

I love these 'hump day' posts.

Why is it when our children are babies we could sleep for ten hours straight, by the time they leave the house, we're up 3 or 4 times a night. Something doesn't seem right about that. said...

Haha, I think I need to share that first graphic with a friend. Her newborn doesn't like to sleep.

Happy Halloween, LD.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! My husband would panic if I didn't speak to him for two hours.

Unknown said...

Hahaha! And awww. I did say it. Who could resist? And age doesn't come alone -- it doesn't always bring wisdom as I can attest, but it brings other stuff! Happy HD to you too.

Lydia Kang said...

Nothing but funny here--thanks for the (many) laughs!

Unknown said...

Lots of funny stuff in there, especially about the $ and the book. I like the top pic best though. That's hysterical! Happy Halloween! :-)

LD Masterson said...

Alex - Cliff notes? (lol) Perhaps.

Karen - Yup, and not that far from the truth.

Stacy - It'll happen faster than you think. *grin*

Maryann - I think my kids would agree with it.

Robin - Thanks. Glad you like it.

Susan - That's funny, I thought of Obamacare, too.

mshatch - Glad you liked it.

Maria - And after the kids are gone, the husbands are STILL a handful.

farawayeyes - I love the line, "We spend our children's early years teaching them to walk and talk and their teen years telling them to sit down and shut up."

Robyn - Please share it.

Diane - Mine would probably be grateful.

Jan - Oh yeah, I feel a lot of the things it brings when I try to get out of bed in the morning.

Lydia - You're very welcome.

Lexa - Happy Halloween to you, too.

Heather R. Holden said...

So many great funnies today! That first one with the baby especially cracked me up. Oh, dear... XD

Arlee Bird said...

Some excellent funny stuff today. The old couple made me curious so I did some calculations. If we make it to 60 years I'll be 106 year old. I wonder if I'll make it.

A Faraway View

Julie Flanders said...

Love the story about the couple, too cute.
Are you still partying today? Yay for the Red Sox!

Happy Halloween, LD!

Mike Keyton said...

That story about Bubba and the non talkative wife "Better think it over..............women like that are hard to find."puts me in mind of an irate Victorian Parliamentarian. Gladstone - who was noted for using ten words when one would do - was talking. An old Tory backbencher notoriously deaf lifted up his ear trumpet. The irate parliamentarian in question snarled: 'Look at that damn fool, throwing away his natural advantage'

And I liked the baby picture. A future politician? Or is that a dirty word :(

Patricia Stoltey said...

I can't even tell you what was my favorite part of this collection. They're all fun. I love your hump day posts.

Tara Tyler said...

aww and haw haw!
thanks for the laughs =D

Unknown said...

Oh that baby in the first picture is just precious! And yes, an "awww" moment for sure. :)

Rhonda Albom said...

These are really funny! I love the understanding women book and the final quote the best.

PK HREZO said...

Too funny!!! that book size pretty much says it all. Not sure it's actually big enough. lol

LD Masterson said...

Heather H. - And so true.

Lee - Good luck on hitting 60 years. I might make it, we're at 45 this this. Of course, I was a child bride.

Julie F. - Oh yeah. I'm still doing my happy dance for the Sox. I'll be doing that for weeks. Maybe months.

Mike - Love the quote. (yes, I think politician has indeed become a dirty word)

Patricia - Thanks. I'm glad.

Tara - My pleasure.

Julie L. - Told ya.

Rhonda - That final quote is too true for comfort.

LD Masterson said...

Pk - You sneaked in a comment while I was answering comments. *grin* And I think you may be right. Unless it's very tiny print.

Jemi Fraser said...

Those are awesome!! Love the money in the attic one - so perfectly true :)

Carol Kilgore said...

Loved everything here - don't know which one I loved the most. I think it's the Understanding Women book. I'm sure that's only Volume 1.

LD Masterson said...

Jemi - Yup. I get away with a lot. *grin*

Carol - Volume one of how many?

Nicki Elson said...

Well look at that, I was late enough that I actually got read this ON a Humpday.

Very fun & funny as usual. Thanks. :)