I'm Back! With Funnies for You and Apologies for Carol Kilgore.

Happy Hump Day.

Hi. What's everyone been up to while I was gone? No, wait. Don't tell me. I'll be around to visit everyone as soon as I can.

I know you've been missing your hump day funnies (you have missed them, right?) so let's dive right in.

You'd think for my first post, I'd have come up with a theme but the only connection between today's pictures and jokes is they made me laugh.

Starting with...

I know this feeling. How about you?

A friend of mine shared this with me...

I had to make a quick stop at the grocery the other day so I parked my car in the lot and rolled down the windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had enough fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.  I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"

As I was walking, I passed a pretty young thing who was watching me with a strange look.

"Why," she asked me, "don't you just put it in park?" 

 

We won't discuss hair color on that one.


Now hair color on this one is a whole different matter.

 

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that cracked me up, but it did.


This is my new favorite joke.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know…

She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I be acquitted?”

I love it!

This picture was a toss up for me as a funny or an "aw".  But when I thought of my teenage grandson, that tipped it to a funny.

I love the dog's expression.


Which brings us to your hump day "aw". This one was also both a funny and an "aw" but the sight of this poor fellow trying to make a bed for himself was an "aw" for me.

How about you?

Before I close, I have to offer my deepest apologies to my blog friend, author Carol Kilgore.  I promised Carol I'd be part of the June cover reveal for her new book, Secrets of Honor. Then I promptly took a blog break for the entire month. So, with apologies for my tardiness, I offer the beautiful cover for Secrets of Honor.

About Secrets of Honor...

By the end of a long evening working as a special set of eyes for the presidential security detail, all Kat Marengo wants is to kick off her shoes and stash two not-really-stolen rings in a secure spot. Plus, maybe sleep with Dave Krizak. No, make that definitely sleep with Dave Krizak. The next morning, she wishes her new top priorities were so simple.

As an operative for a covert agency buried in the depths of the Department of Homeland Security, Kat is asked to participate in a matter of life or death—locate a kidnapped girl believed to be held in Corpus Christi, Texas. Since the person doing the asking is the wife of the president and the girl is the daughter of the first lady’s dearest friend, it’s hard to say no.

Kat and Dave quickly learn the real stakes are higher than they or the first lady believed and will require more than any of them bargained for.

The kicker? They have twenty-four hours to find the girl—or the matter of life or death will become more than a possibility.

About Carol...

Carol writes grocery lists, texts to her family, new lyrics to old songs for her dogs, love notes to her husband, and novels for herself. And for you. In between, she blogs weekly at Under the Tiki Hut and is active on Facebook and Twitter.

She sees mystery and subterfuge everywhere. And she’s a sucker for a good love story—especially ones with humor and mystery. Crime Fiction with a Kiss gives her the latitude to mix and match throughout the broad mystery and romance genres. Having flexibility makes her heart happy.

 

Website with Monthly Contest: http://www.carolkilgore.net

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carol.kilgore1

Twitter: http://twitter.com/carol_kilgore

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6094110.Carol_Kilgore

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Carol-Kilgore/e/B008FRCXQY

Okay, that's it for today.  Did the funnies do it for you? Are you over the midweek hump? 

Great! Did you have a favorite?

Have a wonderful weekend. I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Bad decisions make good stories.  (REALLY, THEY DO...)

Welcome My Guest, Carol Kilgore

Okay, fess up, people. How many of you are here because you read in my Friday post that guest author Carol Kilgore was here today to spill her deepest, darkest, most intimate secrets?

You wanted all the dirt, didn't you? All the juicy details. 

Well, remember what today is?

April Fool!

(heeheehee)

But not to worry, Carol is here this morning and she's dishing the dirt about her new book, Solomon's Compass.  Take it away, Carol.

Thanks for having me here today! I love your blog, so I’m going to do the best I can to keep your chatty spirit alive.

This is the first day of my blog tour for Solomon’s Compass. I’ll be out and about at various blogs over the next two weeks talking about everything you wanted to know about me and my books. Maybe more than you wanted to know, but I hope not.

Today I’m going to talk about the kind of novels I write. I call them Crime Fiction with a Kiss. Always at least one crime. Always a love story.

I think I write such a combination because of my favorite authors. If you envision the types of stories written by these individuals combined into one story written in my style, it will give you some idea.

Lisa Scottoline – Especially the Rosetti and Associates books

James Patterson – Especially the Alex Cross books

David Baldacci – Especially his standalone novels

For grins, add Lisa Gardner, Suzanne Brockmann, and Nelson DeMille to the mix. See what eclectic reading habits I have? And this doesn’t even venture into other genres I’ve come to enjoy. I have a few other favorites, but the authors I named have most influenced what I write.

Writing Solomon’s Compass brought me great pleasure and a whole menagerie of problems. From learning how to sail a catamaran on paper to learning how to scare the pants off someone in a car. From making myself really hungry for shrimp to drying tears from reading accounts of Coast Guard Point boat sailors about their tours of duty in Vietnam. And much more.

Tomorrow, April 2, is Solomon’s Compass Release Day. I’m nervous, excited, happy. Now I understand why authors say the second book is more stressful than the first.

People have read my first book. The second book is in the same genre, but it’s a different story with very different characters. The what-ifs in my head run rampant. I’ve tried to hold them in check, but they’re sneaky little devils.

Even with all that, I’m so excited I can barely sit still. Like a kid on Christmas Eve.

I hope you’ll enjoy reading Solomon’s Compass and learning about the world of Rock Harbor, Texas, as seen through the eyes of Taylor Campbell and Jake Solomon. If you do, I hope you’ll tell your friends about it.

Now, to continue in the spirit of this blog . . .

Here’s your Aw Moment:

 

  This is Wrangler, and today is his birthday. He’s eight years old, and he’s been a member of our family since he was seven weeks. He’s a border collie mix, and he was a rescue puppy.

He watches over me like a guardian angel. Or a crazed stalker, circling and circling. Your call.

And I love him dearly. Happy Birthday, Wrangler!

Now, here's a little something about Solomon’s Compass... 

A missing belt—her uncle’s prized possession. The lure of buried treasure. And a sexy former SEAL who makes U.S. Coast Guard Commander Taylor Campbell crazy. What more could any woman want. Right?

Taylor is in Rock Harbor, Texas, on a quest to unearth her uncle’s treasure—a journey far outside the realm of her real life. There’s one glitch. Taylor's certain the buried treasure was all in Uncle Randy's dementia-riddled mind. Now he’s dead.

Former SEAL Jake Solomon is in Rock Harbor under false pretenses to protect Taylor from the fate that befell her uncle and the other members of a tight circle of Coast Guardsmen called the Compass Points who served together on Point boats in Vietnam.

Jake is definitely not supposed to become involved with Taylor. That was his first mistake. Taylor is attracted to Jake as well, but she refuses to wait for him to locate the killer when she knows her plan will force her uncle’s murderer into action.

But the killer's actions are just what Jake is afraid of.

And a little something about Carol...

 Carol Kilgore has always had stories and characters in her head. She wrote short fiction for a few years and enjoyed a small success as a freelancer before giving it all up for her true love – novels.

As a Coast Guard wife, Carol has lived in locations across the U.S. She and her husband now live in a San Antonio suburb and share their home and patio with two active herding dogs whose mission is to keep them free from danger, real or imagined.  

You can find Carol and her books here:  blog . website . facebook . twitter . goodreads . amazon

Well, I know I can't wait to read Solomon's Compass. Thank you so much for being my guest today, Carol. I wish you all the best with your new release.

 Please leave a comment for Carol, let her know you stopped by.

Question for the Day:

Is it me--or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? 

April 1st - Something for Everyone

I'm not published yet, nor am I an active reviewer (it's just something I'm not good at) so I'm probably not the best person to discuss all the ramification of this latest development but I've got to admit it makes me very uneasy. Can I get your thoughts on Amazon taking over Goodreads? Good or bad for writers? For readers?

I know in my circle of blog friends there is much excitement over the start of the A to Z Challenge on April 1.  I'm not participating in the challenge but I try to visit as many A to Z bloggers as I can. Best of luck to all you brave participants.

For me, April 1 is exciting for a couple other reasons. First, it's opening day for my beloved Boston Red Sox.  I'm really hoping I can make a prigrimage to Boston this summer and see a game at Fenway Park...or as we call it in my family, Mecca.

The other reason I'm excited about April 1 is I'm hosting author Carol Kilgore.  Carol is coming by to share all her most intimate secrets. You won't want to miss this.
 
 I can't do a post this morning without mentioning the significance of this day to me as a Christian. This is the day my Lord endured the torment of Crucifixion so that I might have eternal life. If you are a Christian, take time today to stop and remember.

Okay, don't forget to leave your thoughts on the Amazon/Goodreads news.

Have a very joyous and blessed Easter.

Joke of the Day:

Paddy opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Sean.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Paddy. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Sean. "Where are ye callin' from?"

(Should I have called that one a groaner?)