What! Christmas is Next Week?!?

Happy Hump Day

Wait a minute. This is supposed to be my last Hump Day post before Christmas. That means...oh my gosh! Christmas is a week away!!!!

I'm not ready. I having more shopping to do, and wrapping, and planning Christmas dinner for the whole family. 

I should have known it was coming. There are signs everywhere. Even in my own house. 

In my living room. 

In my family room. 

 

Over the fireplace. 

But how did it get here so quickly? 

Okay, tell you what. How about if I just share a couple of my favorite bits of Christmas funnies.

The Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas
 
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
 
a.. TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
 
b.. ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)
 
c. TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

d. NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

e. EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans
 
f. SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands
 
g. SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
 
h. FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. 

NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and  partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further  Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.
 
i. FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
 
j. THREE deconstructionist poets
 
k. TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and
 
l. ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 

 Number eight has always been my favorite.

(Bovine-Americans...hee hee hee).

And here they are...those fabulous Silent Monks.

I love that video every Christmas.

I wouldn't forget your "aw".

I know we see lots of cute pics of sleeping pups, but this little one is definitely somebody's furbaby.

 

It got me.

Not only is this an "on the run" post - it will be one of two this week. 

Come back by on Friday for my post in DL Hammons'...

Okay. Was that enough to get you over the hump? I hope so.

Are you ready for Christmas?

 A Happy and Blessed Hanukkah to my Jewish friends.

Quote for Today:

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
~Carolyn Wells

Hump Day Funnies - With Humps!

Happy Hump Day

And in honor of hump day, let's start with...

Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel named Alfred with two huge camel humps.

He fell in love and married a beautiful female camel named Marie, who had one perfect camel hump.

As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby boy camel, born with no humps.

They thought long and hard on what to call their beautiful
little boy and finally decided on...

Humpfree!

I know, I know. I should be ashamed of myself.

 I know many of you can appreciate this right now. 

Here's a phone conversation you might enjoy.

 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'  

'It is.'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?' 

'I can.'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

 'I do.'

 'Is he a member of your congregation?'

 'He is.' 

 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 

 'He will.'

This next one isn't really a hump day funny but I wanted to share it.

This is my grandson standing by our Christmas tree in 1999.

Here he is by this year's tree.

We still get the same size tree.

Sigh.

Don't worry, I didn't forget your "aw".

Last time I gave you a mouse. About about a loving pair of squirrels?

 Worked for me.

Okay, are we there? Over the hump and sliding toward the weekend?

Excellent. Hope your weekend is a great one. 

See you next Wednesday.

Question for Today:

  

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?